Getting SWMBO to stop using her car as a purse. (dangerous subject)

So yeah, I love my wife. REALLY do. But the way she treats her car drives me insane. When I've got to clean it before I use it to run to the store, there's an issue there. I mean, at any given time there are probably 3-4 pairs of shoes, at least a brush or two, makeup, purse, probably a left over fast food bag or two from lunch.  She's a librarian, and running loads of the libraries youth programming, so there are books, and papers, projects etc in the back seat. I mean when I drive it, I've got to move the shoes out from in front of the drivers seat. It's mind blowing. 

Lately I won't drive her car. I've just been driving the truck that get's half the mileage. I'm sick of looking at it. I can't seem to get it through her head that her car is the first thing people see when she pulls up somewhere, and having it a wreck like that just doesn't send a good message.  For mothers day, I literally disassembled her interior and cleaned the hell out of it. (took all day) She kept it clean for about 2 months. Then suddenly bingo... back to it. I know I drive a rusty old truck, but at least I can put a passenger in it if I need to. The back seat is slap full of tools, and things that will likely kill me if I'm ever in an accident, but since I removed the topper, I haven't had a chance to put the tool box back on.

Any suggestions on getting her to change her habits without harping on the subject? Lately it's been causing some strife, and as I said. I'm sick of looking at it. I'm probably going to tear it apart again Sunday and clean it. (it's bugging me that bad) 

I've been married 17 years so, while not exactly the old-timer at the barber shop, I have learned a thing or two.  One thing I've learned is that I'm not capable of changing my wife.  I suggest that you bake a weekly / bi-weekly / monthly cleaning of her car into your schedule.  First Saturday of the month, you set aside 4 hours and you clean it to your liking.  She will appreciate it, and you will have a chance to drive it a bit to keep up on rattles / clunks / etc.  

I understand your frustration.  I’ve been trying to teach my dog to juggle for a year now and have also made little progress.  Good luck in your quest.

Women spend their entire life trying to change their man into something different than they are currently.

Men spend their entire life trying to get their wife to never change from when they  first met her and fell in love.   

I’ve been married for 31 years.   Good luck. 

My wife treats her car like a rolling laundry basket. The best I can do is clean it and threaten her with replacing it it with a Prius. 

When pigs fly, man.

Yeah, good luck with that.

12 years married.

When I get thoughts like this, I always turn to Clark's dad on the best advice on how to cope:

You poor bastard.

Have you considered that "purse" might be one of the functions she demands of her car? If she is happy with the situation, then don't worry about it. 

Good points all around. Thanks!

Brian said:

My wife treats her car like a rolling laundry basket. The best I can do is clean it and threaten her with replacing it it with a Prius. 

And this might be the winner. She hates those.

My wifes car is always spotless inside, i feel bad getting into it dirty. If only i could get her to wash the outside!

You can't change other people, only yourself. You are the only one who is frustrated by the situation, so find a solution that works for you. That may be cleaning her car to your liking (if she's ok with that) or it may be ignoring it. 

Married to my amazing woman for fourteen years and I have the same experience.  Lose that battle and you'll win the war.

Here's what I see really wrong with this situation. The truck gets poor fuel mileage and right now the only other option is the wife's car. Solution: find a decent, cheap 4 cylinder beater car for you and learn to ignore the wife's car.  Otherwise you'll need to enjoy cleaning up her car once in a while.

Don't sweat the small stuff.

Married 2 years, I have the same exact problem. I don't say anything until it's time to go somewhere, I'll just ask her to "clean" it about 5 minutes before we leave. She makes it slightly better, so that we at least have space to sit. 

I have little to no real world experience with women so I am of no help.  I like ACs scheduling idea and the beater 4cyl idea.  But I'll say this if anyone ever puts their shoes/bare feet up on the dash or out the window they'll get their first lesson in how stuntmen drop and roll from a moving car.  Absolutely have only seen that here in the states and just don't understand it. I guess it's a wealthy nation thing.  Messy interiors and apartments I can handle and have cleaned quite a few friends places/autos for them happily but keep those plates of meat off the dash. 

I am not married yet, but we've been together 5 years ( I think.  Ask her, she'll know )

She wasn't super good about cleaning her car until she went somewhere with one of her friends who had 2 weeks of amazon boxes, fast food wrappers, and assorted junk in their car.  She doesn't keep it as clean as I would like, but it's much better than it used to be.  Before she started cleaning it, I would drive the car every couple of weeks and just quickly go through and get rid of the trash/junk before I drove it. 

Oh yea.  Get her a miata - there is less room for stuff to accumulate 

In reply to ncjay :

I've got a twin stick champ I'm working on sorting the fuel system out on for just that. BUT... She doesn't like it, and "I'm not riding in that".

In reply to mtn :

Oh no. She'll wait till we're leaving and right on time and THEN it's time to clean it. 

In reply to nutherjrfan :

Nope, not in my car. I'm not sure how/why it started. My niece did that once in my car. Then proceeded to ask me what my issue was when I went off on her. When we got back to the house I put 2 50lb bags of sand on top of an air bag and set it off. No more questions. 

In reply to Brokeback :

We've been together 14 years now.  For the last year or so, it's really been grating on me. For the longest time we only had one operational car, which was no big deal, as I could police it and keep it somewhat cleaned out. (never claimed my stuff was spotless) But dang. The issue is, I picked up a NA miata for her, and now she wants a ND. I have no arguments against the ND, other than I'm not paying 30k for a car for her to use as a trash can. 

I had the opposite issue with my ex-.  She keeps her cars neurotically clean.  While I like a clean car, I am less willing to invest the time required to keep it like that. 

This reminds me I need to give the van a good vacuuming... 

Having been in an ND, there is no room to use it like a trash can.

Simple, she buys her own trash cans from here on. 

nutherjrfan said:

I have little to no real world experience with women so I am of no help.  I like ACs scheduling idea and the beater 4cyl idea.  But I'll say this if anyone ever puts their shoes/bare feet up on the dash or out the window they'll get their first lesson in how stuntmen drop and roll from a moving car....

All I have to say is that, out on a drive on a pleasant summer day,  glancing over and seeing your woman's bare feet up on the dash (or out the window) gives me a warm feeling inside, and I count such an event as one of life's little joys. 

Its. Just. A. Car.

Could trade in on a new model... 

...but the alamony will kill you. 

In reply to John Welsh :

Not so sure about that. She makes more and is far more educated than I.