Gonna have a girl! (need help)

We just found out this morning that my wife is pregnant (we knew that) with a girl! (that's the new part) The doctor was very happy with the measurements and heartbeat and all of that, she said my wife is the perfect age to have a kid so she doesn't anticipate any risks we should worry about beyond the normal pregnancy stuff. My wife and I are worried a bit because she's fairly short and skinny, and we both have fat heads, but the doc said it's hard to anticipate if that'll be a problem.

Now for the needing help part- This will be our first kid. neither of us have babysat, neither of us have significantly younger siblings, etc... I got a bunch of info from other threads (like what maconium is ), but what would you suggest I look into? Any books that help prepare for first time parents? How about Cribs? We've been reading what people say is needed/not needed or what is helpful for babies, but it's hard to wade through and make an informed decision on products since we have no first hand experience. Babyseats? I looked into Recaro baby seats but they don't have one that matches the seats in the RX8 R3

We had a name picked out for a boy, but we hadn't settled on a girl name yet. Any suggestions? We don't really want a weird name (and no weird spellings of common names), but we wouldn't mind one that's uncommon. My Father in Law is picking out the middle name, which will be Korean (my wife is Korean-American), so we're only going for a first name here. This means we don't have control over the middle initial, not that we really care. We want the name to have a nice meaning, too.

How about toys? I have toys out the wazoo from my childhood, and you can bet I'm going to introduce the girl to hotweels and R/C cars, but I also don't want her playing with only 25 year old crap that I half destroyed. I also have a power wheels jeep already, pre-modified with extra voltage for tire spinning action from when I was a kid. It ran when parked, don't know what it will need to get running again beyond some new batteries. My wife has no toys from her childhood, so we are kinda gender biased in what we do have. I also have a great deal of toys that are more creative, like legos and K'nex, but those, along with the car stuff, will have to wait until she gets a bit bigger. We need infant stuff. My mom suggested a jumparoo, because my nephews LOVE theirs, plus the kid builds leg muscles while jumping and it sort of contains the kid if you need to run to the bathroom or something.

Can I use this as an excuse to buy a Wii? Isn't that more child friendly than PS3?

What say GRM?

Settle down, young grasshopper... settle down.

Everyone who has ever been a parent in the history of the world was once not a parent.

Some stuff will just work out. I promise.

Congratulations!!!

I have a 21 month old girl, who was also out first. As for advice and all that, you'll get completely unsolicited from everyone and their dog, even if they never had kids or it's been 65 years. About 5% will apply to you. Just go with what feels right to SWMBO and you. (FWIW, SWMBO and I took a natural childbirth class, which was great. DON'T read any books, they just list all the horrible things that could go wrong)

On to the fun stuff, toys! My girl plays with her Hot Wheels nearly every day, and already has Lego Duplo blocks, too. Kids don't care what gender roles they are supposed to have, they just like to play! Any toys that sort, stack, or go into holes (that sounded weird) are good.

Names: Look at famous female racing drivers, astronauts/pilots, and scientists. Tons of good names there.

Good luck!

I don't have anything of significant value to add other than a hearty congratulations!

The girlfriend and I are currently going through a pregnancy "scare". We shouldn't be (1.5-2 levels of BC going on here), but her body is doing some weird stuff right now. Honestly? If we are, I'm super excited, although it moves all of our plans into super-fast-forward.

As for names, since we've had more than a few conversations about it (not serious ones), I personally would like one of the following: Catherine/Katherine, Molly, Alice, Mary, Mary-Alice, Emily, Erica/Erika.

Settling down is easier said than done!

Kids don't care what gender roles they are supposed to have

We don't either. I'm an anthropologist so I'm well aware gender roles are arbitrary. There will of course be influences, especially from my fairly girly wife, but she still wants our daughter to try everything and decide for herself what she likes. My mom will probably still get all the most girly stuff money can buy (she always wanted a girl) but I think she'll still present a good role model for a daughter. She was very successful in business at a time when it was less common for a women, her first car was a 1970 Mustang, currently drives an ecoboost F-150, a vw phaeton, and a mint 19k mile 1988 Supra turbo... good stuff. Also, i'm not sure I would've wanted to race her in her youth. She might kick my arse.

I never thought to check famous awesome women, there are tons of them. I also like some of those names mtn suggested. we'll have to make a serious list and start weeding down from there.

Come to think of it, the mechanic on Firefly was named Kaylee... That's in space, on TV, AND mechanically inclined...

Congratulations!

We have a 15 month old daughter. We also have a 21 year old, 20 year old, and 17 year old (all sons). Don't sweat the small stuff, and find a way to enjoy all of it! We regret not enjoying more with our boys.

It's not the size of the head as much as it is the shoulders. How broad are yours? Either way, it's not likely to be an issue.

Names: use google and save your money for diapers.

Book (Now): What to expect when you are expecting. DVD (Leading up to birth): find a demo version of Duntz (sp?) baby language. The demo is sufficient to give you the major differences in the noises made. It's incredibly informative

When she's a little older, get Baby Signing Time. All of you will learn to communicate much faster than relying upon speech development.

Here are some websites that we turn to when we are looking to be better parents:

http://www.askdrsears.com/ http://www.llli.org/ (particularly if breastfeeding is an option), but your wife can go to some meetings to get more information.

Finally, if you are thinking of natural methods for childbirth, checkout http://www.thebusinessofbeingborn.com/ WARNING:if you are set on a c section...you may not want to watch that.

SVreX wrote: Settle down, young grasshopper... settle down. Everyone who has ever been a parent in the history of the world was once not a parent. Some stuff will just work out. I promise.

Not only that, but people had children successfully in caves with no running water or central heat, so babies are a lot more durable then they appear at first glance, too.

We had a Better Homes and Gardens (I think; it also kind of looked like a Dorling Kindersley guidebook) that went through all the basics of pregnancy and the first year of care. It was excellent, calm, and non-nonsense.

Congrats and enjoy the ride! And don't let the whole boy/girl thing throw you. 97% of the raising should be the same either way.

What SVREX said. Beyond that, mama and you both should be reading "What to expect when expecting" and "The expectant father" is a good daddy read. Congrats! Girls rule!

If you have a box of diapers, a box of wipes, five changes of clothes and a pair of boobs you're set. Other things can be helpful, but you don't need any more than that. I will recommend baby gowns for the first little while. No snaps and no zippers makes your life a lot easier, especially at night.
People buy strollers, but I think they suck. I much preferred a sling when they are little and a backpack when they are bigger.
This is getting ahead of things, but it's really easy and much cheaper/healthier to make your own baby food. Steam it, put it in a blender, and then spoon it into ice cube trays. When it's frozen just bag it up and then heat up a cube or two at meal time.
I'm a stay at home dad for my four kids and have been since day one. I freaking love new babies. If you keep them fed and changed and hold them a lot that's all they need.

Poop jokes are about to become old really quick.

+1 on the sling. Much better than the stroller. Anything that makes the child face away from you is less desirable.

I despise most children and my daughter has made it to 21 so far. She has made me laugh and made me cry. She is probably the most steady and unflappable of the 4.

It's really not that big of a deal.

Keep her clean, keep her dry and provide stimulation. If you are really stressing, take a parenting class. Most hospitals will provide the basics while you are there.

The most valuable advice I can give is teach your children to sleep no matter how noisy it is. Mine sleep through thunderstorms, TV shows, parties and just about anything. Having to tip toe around the house fearful of waking a child sucks. Get them use to noise.

Edit: Oh! Congratulations!!!

DoctorBlade wrote: Poop jokes are about to become old really quick.

Poop jokes NEVER get old.

Speaking ov, poop's baby rearin' tips:

1. Get the damned "go-bag" ready NOW! There's a list of what to pack in that "What to expect" book. Don't ask mama to do it. Get it done. You'll be a hero.

2. If ANYTHING weird happens, go to the damned hospital. Again. Hero. I practically had to drag mama there, 3 weeks early. 20 some odd hours later, we had a kid.

3. The hospital where kid will be born likely has a maternity class. TAKE_IT, hero dad! You'll see the room where kiddo will join the living, meet the staff, etc. Make an impression at the class, and they'll remember you when you get there.

4. (Your call...personal preference:) Stay on your side of the sheet. Wanna watch the "Miracle of life?" There are DVD's for that. Don't ruin the p**** in your mind!!!!

5. Mama needs to breastfeed. You can pick out the breastfed vs. "formula" kids at the playground.

6. "Dr. Smith's diaper ointment" - Dr. Sis-in-law turned us on. Pricey. Worth every penny.

7. READ to her. A LOT. Our kid is 2, and has a vocabulary that rivals many 5-year-olds.

8. Toys Schmoys. Baby swing. Buy one. They can't not sleep in that thing.

9. Search CL for a decent furniture/crib/changing table set. Used, solid oak on CL > chip board chinese crap @ wally world.

PS: Go ahead and get the car seat mounted in the car. Fingering it out in the hospital parking lot all sleep-deprived and sweaty is a bitch.

It's the coolest thing you'll ever do, congrats. It's scary as hell, but you'll figure it out. My advice to you is this, every kid is different. Don't compare yours to others, each has their own schedule. Some talk sooner than others, some walk sooner, some grow faster. They are all different, just roll with it.

as a guy that was in exactly your situation, only having been told since I was 14 that I COULD NOT have kids, I understand exactly where you are coming from. scared E36 M3less was an understatement. my wife bought me this book as a joke, but I actually wore it out it was so useful. http://www.amazon.com/Be-Prepared-Practical-Handbook-ebook/dp/B000SEKFZI/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1382489695&sr=8-1&keywords=be+prepared+a+practical+handbook+for+new+dads

on furniture: I and my father built most of it. were hobby woodworkers. on the stuff I bought, I just made sure it was high quality stuff (most of it used and refinished to remove any doubt of whether the finish was kid safe)

also, as she got older, I figured out that TV/movies ere a bad thing for her, as well as video games. I had none of that growing up (we were too poor), and learned ho to have fun/be creative/enjoy my on company. my daughter got instantly hooked on that stuff to the detriment of hat my wife and I think should be healthy development. so e cancelled cable, only watch one movie a eek as a family, and otherwise do books/boardgames/outside/arts/crafts/legos/playdough/etc.

good luck man. it goes WAY too quick.

Duke wrote: Not only that, but people had children successfully in caves with no running water or central heat, so babies are a lot more durable then they appear at first glance, too.

Yes they did, but the infant mortality rate was significantly higher than we'd consider acceptable today. A cave is definitely not the preferred spot for delivery. :)

Congratulations! On the baby seat topic, the Recaros are nice (if pricy). I've been pretty happy with the Britax brand, they're better made than the cheap Graco/Evenflo/etc brands, but are less expensive than the Recaros. That said, I'm still kicking myself for not buying the Recaro booster seat that matched the blue alcantara interior in my Audi. :) Look for car seats that the cover comes off easily, because they WILL get puked on. One of the Evenflo seats we owned required that you take out 8 2 inch phillips head screws to get the cover off, a really stupid design.

As far as names go, we fell into the same category. We wanted traditional names (no made-up spelling), but ones that were less common. I'm not going to make specific suggestions (name preference is far too individual for that, IMHO), but sitting down with a baby name book for an hour isn't a bad idea.

There's lots of useful stuff in this thread about methods for dealing with stuff, but keep in mind that all kids are different. My two kids were completely different in terms of what worked for getting them to go to sleep, for example. Listen to suggestions, experiment with them, but don't be surprised if some widely-recommended technique is completely useless for your child. :-)

poopshovel wrote: 9. Search CL for a decent furniture/crib/changing table set. Used, solid oak on CL > chip board chinese crap @ wally world.

Be careful buying used cribs. Safety standards have changed a lot in the last decade, and older stuff isn't necessarily up to it any more.

Congrats! Every baby is totally different, so don't be surprised if most advice you get doesn't end up working for you and your baby.

Personally I really liked the front carrier for our daughter. We used the Infantino and liked it a lot. Our daughter didn't like the traditional baby stuff like swings, play pens, and rockers, but YMMV. Get a cheap crib, they're all the same and will get destroyed and used once.

I liked the book "the new father: dad's guide to the first year."

Kudos if you convince your wife on the Kaylee name!

Tractor Supply has the best price on fence materials. I know you have several years to prepare but it will sneak up on you.

Start saving for the wedding now, look deep into her eyes and 'splain it to her, girls listen better than boys. Get her a dog and a leash, teach her how to drive a standard transmission and shoot a gun.Done

codrus wrote:

poopshovel wrote: 9. Search CL for a decent furniture/crib/changing table set. Used, solid oak on CL > chip board chinese crap @ wally world.

Be careful buying used cribs. Safety standards have changed a lot in the last decade, and older stuff isn't necessarily up to it any more.

While I understand your concern, I'll take a 20 year old oak crib over the falling apart "meets all safety standards paid for with lobbyist dollars" balsa walmart turd we have any day.

YMMV.

I guess a few pointless pieces of advice are in order, but first, congrats! My first girl (my fourth kid) is rushing up to 1 year now.

Keep Momma happy. She won't be. Pregnancy can suck for some women, and don't be surprised if your she's not quite herself for a while. The third trimester was our toughest one. Every girl is different.

Take a tour of the hospital, this may include a class. Mine did. I changed the diaper on a doll. Momma had to have a Cesarian section and I had to change all diapers for the first few days. It was good practice.

The first poop looks like road tar. It's all good.

You need diapers, wipes, comfy nursing stuff for Momma and some sleep. If you can arrange some large time off from work, do it. I had two weeks with kid #4 and it was a different world.

Don't go crazy with stuff. Consignment sales are awesome.

I like the Graco Snugride (since you asked about seats) but there are a few thousand places on the internet better than here to read about it.

From what I hear the toughest part about girls is when they become teenagers.

Keep us posted!

Thanks for the tips! We got a couple books but not all the ones you mentioned.

My brother's two kids couldn't be more different, i'll have to ask him how he does it. how do you people handle it? How do you tailor parenting to the different kids while still appearing fair? ya know what, forget that question. I'll come back for that for baby #2.

We don't have a crib yet, but safety will definitely be our concern. I do some wood working, too, but i'm not going to make a crib, I just don't have the time. Plus my furniture making stuff is all hand tools (seems more fun for me personally) so it would take a while to get it done. I don't have the time. I will certainly be looking for solid wood, and no balsa.

Mama plans on breastfeeding, though I don't know what the main difference will be for the kid. I figure humans survived prior to baby formula without going extinct, it can't be all that bad.

For the sling is there a way to control the baby's head? I've seen some where the kid was asleep and his/her head was all bent back. it looked awfully painful, but I like the idea of a sling. It might not work for my wife, though, since she's kinda small and has scoliosis. I could probably carry her in a sling, so I shouldn't have a problem with the baby.

I never thought of the puke-cleanup factor of babyseats, thanks for that tip. I guess puke cleanup should be considered with everything.

Oh, and she's definitely learning to drive a stick. I've long held it required of my future children. Her first car will have to be a stick so she can learn. After that she can drive whatever she wants, but she will have the ability to drive stick.

I'm definitely scared of the teenage years, but that'll be a while.

Girls are so much easier than boys. Until they aren't.

Great advice in this thread. Don't be afraid to ask others for help.