Great article on R&T site - This Stupid Car Saved My Marriage

To recap: lots of friends and family who know this young couple advise against them getting married.

He is unfaithful in the FIRST YEAR of their marriage.

She stays and decides to double down by adding the huge stressor of a child to the relationship.

Driving around in a Miata makes everything better.

Having BTDT with advice/unfaithful spouse/family. I can only say I hope she never catches him cheating (once a cheater.......) and that if she does she keeps the car.

But that's just me, been burned and am a bit jaded.

KyAllroad wrote: To recap: lots of friends and family who know this young couple advise against them getting married. He is unfaithful in the FIRST YEAR of their marriage. She stays and decides to double down by adding the huge stressor of a child to the relationship. Driving around in a Miata makes everything better. Having BTDT with advice/unfaithful spouse/family. I can only say I hope she never catches him cheating (once a cheater.......) and that if she does she keeps the car. But that's just me, been burned and am a bit jaded.

I sort of saw it that way too

Perhaps I'm being the Friday optimist, but I see this as a story about some real people- both of whom have done stupid things- trying to pull it together and keep it together. I won't go all Biblical and talk about judging people, casting stones, or whatever. Yeah, he cheated, and we all know that's wrong. Maybe (hopefully) no one here has ever cheated on their spouse. But they've done other stuff...kept other secrets maybe. Hopefully they (and the author) grow and mature as people, learn to treat others with respect, and all that. The author told an honest story- and told it pretty well. We might not relate to the protagonist specifically, but we can all relate, on some level, to this as humans. And car folks.

I know Zach was a bit nervous about sending this one out there. It's pretty personal, and there are always going to be those who judge.

Now, if you want something that's a bit more anti-authority and less about married life, you want to read about his little motorcycle adventure in a closed National Park.
http://www.roadandtrack.com/car-culture/features/a5650/a-2013-honda-crf250l-middle-finger-to-the-shutdown/
...and the consequences.
http://www.roadandtrack.com/car-culture/features/a8741/busted-paying-the-price-for-ignoring-the-government-shutdown/

Or, if you want something wildly popular, an article about an old truck.
http://www.roadandtrack.com/car-culture/buying-maintenance/news/a25269/why-the-hell-did-i-buy-a-truck-with-281000-miles/

Nobody is judging. Seriously. We're just not seeing why it's inspirational.

Then you get a full refund. It's inspirational to some people. To others, it isn't. And so it goes, to quote some hack.

mazdeuce wrote: The writing was great, but something about the story really rubbed me the wrong way. A long term unstable relationship where he was a significant cause of instability, and then his solution was to go buy a car and get her to fall in love with his pasttime. The whole thing reeks of a self centeredness that makes me sad that there is gestation going on. Guy has a way with words though.

I saw it as a totally different story, one where they used a car to develop closeness where they might not have before. It states that used to drive and have that happen, and the Miata provided an outlet to increase their time together. Couples do this in many different ways, and this was evidently theirs.

Keith Tanner wrote: Then you get a full refund. It's inspirational to some people. To others, it isn't. And so it goes, to quote some hack.

I don't get an opinion because I didn't buy a copy of the magazine? This was posted here and a bunch of us gave an opinion that you didn't like. It doesn't mean you have to get snippy. We all have opinions, some of them differ from yours.

Keith Tanner wrote: I know Zach was a bit nervous about sending this one out there. It's pretty personal, and there are always going to be those who judge. Now, if you want something that's a bit more anti-authority and less about married life, you want to read about his little motorcycle adventure in a closed National Park. http://www.roadandtrack.com/car-culture/features/a5650/a-2013-honda-crf250l-middle-finger-to-the-shutdown/ ...and the consequences. http://www.roadandtrack.com/car-culture/features/a8741/busted-paying-the-price-for-ignoring-the-government-shutdown/ Or, if you want something wildly popular, an article about an old truck. http://www.roadandtrack.com/car-culture/buying-maintenance/news/a25269/why-the-hell-did-i-buy-a-truck-with-281000-miles/

Now those are far more like it. I loved all three, far better than the one that started this thread.

tuna55 wrote:

Keith Tanner wrote: Then you get a full refund. It's inspirational to some people. To others, it isn't. And so it goes, to quote some hack.

I don't get an opinion because I didn't buy a copy of the magazine? This was posted here and a bunch of us gave an opinion that you didn't like. It doesn't mean you have to get snippy. We all have opinions, some of them differ from yours.

You can have all the opinion you want. I don't care if you didn't like it. I and others liked it, so I shared. That's all.

Sorry if the word "judged" pushed a button. Insert whatever term you prefer.

People mess up. Sometimes we learn from our mistakes and become better people. Life is messy. Thank god for Miatas.

tuna55 wrote:

KyAllroad wrote: To recap: lots of friends and family who know this young couple advise against them getting married. He is unfaithful in the FIRST YEAR of their marriage. She stays and decides to double down by adding the huge stressor of a child to the relationship. Driving around in a Miata makes everything better. Having BTDT with advice/unfaithful spouse/family. I can only say I hope she never catches him cheating (once a cheater.......) and that if she does she keeps the car. But that's just me, been burned and am a bit jaded.

I sort of saw it that way too

It says in the article that the "incident in the living room" was four years before the baby. A five year marriage isn't that short, sure there's a lot of strain to come but it sounds like they've got things figured out so far.

(From the article: "Four years after that night in our living room, our marriage is..")

I'm thinking i don't understand R&T's new website. I read this article, and two others of his, and none of the three seemed like they reached a conclusion of any kind. Is there somewhere i need to click to go to the end?

http://www.roadandtrack.com/car-culture/classic-cars/news/a25315/i-survived-a-400-horsepower-toyota-corona-wagon/

"We pop off the interstate and onto some familiar back roads. There's grip out there somewhere, past the body roll and the million-turn-to-lock steering, but it would take a lifetime to get cozy with the set up. It's terrifying and manic in that perfect hot rod way. The car is worth more in pieces than it ever will be assembled, and if you can drive it without grinning from ear to ear, you're probably dead. Or an shiny happy person. Either way, you're not the kind of goon I'd want to have a beer with."

Is this the last paragraph everyone else sees?

my point in the original article.

"I look at my wife in the passenger seat. Her excitement is contagious. She's glowing with it. She's grinning and looking through me at the water rocking against the low cliffs, a few strands of hair whipping around her face in the California wind."

and....I know what my wife would say..' this still doesn't make up for that bomb you dropped 4 years ago dick...'

In reply to Supercoupe:

Depends on the couple and what has transpired during the past four years. Couples that want the marriage to work will make it work. It's surprising what obstacles can be overcome if both parties are committed to make it work. At least, from the story this appears to be working.

mines worked ok for 38 years...I was just adding some more to the story..

Gotcha! And congratulations!

KyAllroad wrote: To recap: lots of friends and family who know this young couple advise against them getting married. He is unfaithful in the FIRST YEAR of their marriage. She stays and decides to double down by adding the huge stressor of a child to the relationship. Driving around in a Miata makes everything better. Having BTDT with advice/unfaithful spouse/family. I can only say I hope she never catches him cheating (once a cheater.......) and that if she does she keeps the car. But that's just me, been burned and am a bit jaded.

Well over 50% of my peers are now divorced, so I'm a bit incredulous about this situation, too.

Sure, a bunch of people will pipe in with "I married my high school sweetheart and we're doing great!", but realistically a LOT of these young relationships implode.

I didn't mean to be judgey or start that sort of thing. Just that I read a car article and instead of it being 'good' or 'bad' I felt vaguely uneasy. I had to read it a second time to figure out why. I think the guy has talent. He elicited an emotional response in me and it looks like other readers too.
I remember the days of getting a new car magazine and looking for articles by Brock Yates or Peter Eagan. Except for the scribes in GRM, I'm hard pressed to know the name of a single auto writer that's currently writing, and that's part of the reason I don't subscribe anymore. The car content I can get online and the writing isn't anything to write home about. If this new guy (already forgot his name) can introduce some actual quality writing back to auto magazines, then maybe they can have some relavence.

In reply to mazdeuce:

Totally agree. I had a number of hero writers as I was maturing in the sixties and seventies (Brock Yates, Leon Mandel, William Jeanes). We desperately need new blood of the same caliber. Still waiting, with hope and optimism.

Funny, I never cared for Yates at all, other than I think he had a large influence on the general attitude in the magazines when he was at his peak.

The current R&T has me looking at bylines again. I already did for EVO. While I've followed Zach more closely than most because I know him better than most, I can usually identify the writer of the long form articles in R&T by the voice of the writer.

Sam Smith is a name worth knowing. I love his report of the Copperstate 1000 classic car rally. The editor for this piece was one of the two founders of the Onion, by the way.
http://www.briggscunningham.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/Copperstate.pdf

mazdeuce wrote: I didn't mean to be judgey or start that sort of thing. Just that I read a car article and instead of it being 'good' or 'bad' I felt vaguely uneasy. I had to read it a second time to figure out why. I think the guy has talent. He elicited an emotional response in me and it looks like other readers too. I remember the days of getting a new car magazine and looking for articles by Brock Yates or Peter Eagan. Except for the scribes in GRM, I'm hard pressed to know the name of a single auto writer that's currently writing, and that's part of the reason I don't subscribe anymore. The car content I can get online and the writing isn't anything to write home about. If this new guy (already forgot his name) can introduce some actual quality writing back to auto magazines, then maybe they can have some relavence.

As the internet killed intellectual property and along with it print media, the art of writing a great article is definitely diminishing. I still sub to R&T (which reminds me--I have to re-up my GRM sub) and it's nice to see the quality going up again. I still enjoy reading the work of good writers.

Yup. Here are a couple more names: Brendan McAleer and Davey G. Johnson. Both great storytellers. All three are young writers - give them time and I believe they'll be as great as the ones we loved from the 70s & 80s. And Zach is a friggin GRM style gearhead too.

This thread now has me thinking about good automotive journalism. I forgot about Natalie Neff. She really caught my attention at Autoweek a few years ago when she did an excellent piece on a road test in Germany while pretending to be searching for The Scorpions. It was very entertaining. She didn't disappoint me after that. But when I let my Autoweek subscription lapse I lost track of her. I'd say she has great potential for carrying on the tradition. I wonder where she is now?