How to deal with someone who's overly political?

My dad is way way way too into politics for me. It just comes up all the time and almost every conversation turns into his hatred for the Democrats.

I am not a political person. I keep an eye on things, but I hate talking about it. The way things get heated on here is about the same as it gets in daily life when it gets brought up.

Anyways, I have told him numerous times I don't like talking about it and he still has to throw in jokes and quips about the Democrats all the time. The radio in his car is always tuned to an AM station that's always playing politics.

When we go to car shows, he always seems to find someone to talk about politics to (usually someone in our club) and I have to hear it in the background.

I don't know what to do anymore. It's just constant and I am to the point that I can't block it out. It's getting to the point where spending time with him is just not tolerable anymore.

Try this:

Dad, shut the berkeley up.

Alternately:

I voted for Obama and think he is doing a wonderful job.

I know the feeling, sort of. My wife's family and relatives are viciously anti-Democrat. I am nearly convinced that they believe everything Fox News tells them.

My father in law isn't too bad, not like you describe, He's into politics but is pretty reasonable about it but is Anti Democrat. There's been a few times at family gatherings where someone starts talking politics and things get a little heated, and I pray my wife doesn't blurt out that I voted for Obama or something.

I don't talk politics with anyone, because on a day to day basis I don't keep informed enough to know what the berkeley I'm talking about.

In reply to SyntheticBlinkerFluid:

Call him and tell him how excited you are about the health car law being upheld by the Supreme Court.

SyntheticBlinkerFluid wrote: My dad is way way way too into politics for me. It just comes up all the time and almost every conversation turns into his hatred for the Democrats.

My mom is the same way except anti-GOP.

It drives me nuts. I am kinda political but I don't believe in just blindly following party lines and so we get in arguments over things quite often.

Buy him a copy of John Cleese's book "Life, and how to survive it" Most excellent examination of unhealthy behaviours, what causes them and how to get over it, if one is willing.

There's a section in there on people who are obsessed with politics.

Like it or not, it's your duty to be political.

Behavior modification techniques gives you lots of options. Here's some techniques...

or just give him a poke with one of these every time he talks politics

I've found that to get these kind of people to shut up about it the next time he's on politics just badger the crap out of him about what is he doing about it. EVERYTHING he says just belittle him about how he's just whinning and not fixing any problem doing what he's doing. Chances are near 100% that he isn't actually doing anything but bitching to everyone he can find that already agrees with him about how EVIL the other side is. This does NOTHING to improve the situation. If you can associate talking politics with you to you making him feel bad he will stop talking to you about politics. Now if he heads up local political groups and promotes town hall meetings and community groups in efforts to change the political landscape all bets are off but I highly doubt it.

It's his "thing." A lot of people in your life probably don't care about cars, and get annoyed that you talk about them ALL the time.

failboat wrote: I don't talk politics with anyone, because on a day to day basis I don't keep informed enough to know what the berkeley I'm talking about.

Heck if only informed people argued about politics, we wouldn't have any political discussions!

Seriously, unless you have served in congress, worked as a lobbyist, managed a political campaign, or otherwise been involved in the inner workings of the political system, you don't know the whole story. It always amuses me how some folks get so worked up over politics (on both sides) when they only know a small part of the whole story. Kinda silly.

to the original poster----- tell your Dad you love him, but you hate talking politics. Let him know you want to spend time with him, but the constant political B.S. is driving you away. Talk about cars instead!

nocones wrote: I've found that to get these kind of people to shut up about it the next time he's on politics just badger the crap out of him about what is he doing about it. EVERYTHING he says just belittle him about how he's just whinning and not fixing any problem doing what he's doing. Chances are near 100% that he isn't actually doing anything but bitching to everyone he can find that already agrees with him about how EVIL the other side is. This does NOTHING to improve the situation. If you can associate talking politics with you to you making him feel bad he will stop talking to you about politics. Now if he heads up local political groups and promotes town hall meetings and community groups in efforts to change the political landscape all bets are off but I highly doubt it.

Yeah, being an shiny happy person to your dad is a great way to go.

rotard wrote:

nocones wrote: I've found that to get these kind of people to shut up about it the next time he's on politics just badger the crap out of him about what is he doing about it. EVERYTHING he says just belittle him about how he's just whinning and not fixing any problem doing what he's doing. Chances are near 100% that he isn't actually doing anything but bitching to everyone he can find that already agrees with him about how EVIL the other side is. This does NOTHING to improve the situation. If you can associate talking politics with you to you making him feel bad he will stop talking to you about politics. Now if he heads up local political groups and promotes town hall meetings and community groups in efforts to change the political landscape all bets are off but I highly doubt it.

Yeah, being an shiny happy person to your dad is a great way to go.

If he is an shiny happy person, his dad probably figured it out long ago. If he just acts like one when dad talks politics, maybe dad will cool it.

carguy123 wrote: Like it or not, it's your duty to be political.

But it's not you duty to be an a-hole about it.

My two sisters have this "issue". One lives in the hills and has become very "red", not crazy, but it's still pretty obvious (strangely, she was a city worker and is collecting a city union retirement pension). The other is a school teacher in a somewhat bad area (who of course is being heavily effected by the states inability to control it's finances). There really isn't too much you can do other then point them to the middle and try to make them realize everything isn't black and white. Far better is to just make a bit of a rule not to talk about it.

As far as the OP's situation. I think you need to just spell it out. Say, look, what you are saying is not productive, it's just stirring things up and I don't want to hear about it. It's not that I agree or disagree with you, I just don't want to hear about it. That's really all you can do other then ignore it. With very stubborn people, that is sometimes all you can do (it's not like you can choose not to see him anymore). Trying to bring reasonable arguments into the mix will likely just stir him up, and you don't want to do that anyway.

Of course, one of the big issues here is that the whole "politcal yell fest" has become a major part of his life and seems to be how he spends most of his time. Why someone like to make themselves angry all the time is beyond me, but it seems like it has become his major pastime. Sadly, this is not uncommon.

Giant Purple Snorklewacker wrote: Try this: Dad, shut the berkeley up. Alternately: I voted for Obama and think he is doing a wonderful job.

This should work. Its possible for people to keep politics out of conversation. I work with a few hardcore republicans while I'm independent, support Obama, and am backing/campaigning with a local democrat. We just keep it out of conversation and we all get along just fine.

Joe Gearin wrote: to the original poster----- tell your Dad you love him, but you hate talking politics. Let him know you want to spend time with him, but the constant political B.S. is driving you away. Talk about cars instead!

This, undoubtedly.

If it comes up, drive the conversation to actual ideas and issues - people want much of the same thing - but if you bring names (political figures) into it it's a problem because they are all (with few exceptions) idiots who want to keep their job and maintain their power.

Am I the only one that gets the red an blue political affiliations mixed up? When I see red, I think communist.

Giant Purple Snorklewacker wrote: Try this: Dad, shut the berkeley up.

Truthfully, I think this is really the best way. May not want to word it exactly like that...unless you actually say the word "berkeley"...that would just be funny. Seriously, be up front and honest about it. Ask him to refrain from all political commentary when you're together. It's perfectly OK to say you aren't interested in it and that it's great if he is, but you don't want to talk about it.

My father-in-law is sort of similar. Into politics, rambles on about it frequently, leans to the right. Even though a lot of my ideals are right leaning too, I despise politics in a big way. I don't pay attention to them and go out of my way to avoid them. Just ugh. He knows that and usually doesn't bother me with it. When he does say something political, I just usually shrug my shoulders or say "I dunno", and he moves on.

failboat wrote: I know the feeling, sort of. My wife's family and relatives are viciously anti-Democrat. I am nearly convinced that they believe everything Fox News tells them.

I think you spelled that wrong - isn't it Faux News?

Haha, right I do the same thing, but remember history, sir.

I don think the colors come from the Civil War. The Republicans (Notherners) were the Federalists, and wore blue, and the rebel "red" south although opposing parties, selected Democrat Andrew Johnson to replace Lincoln.

So in those days, the colors would have been switched.

Admit you're wrong, apologize, and vote Republican? I joke. I keed.

The guy who washes my windows at the shop was constantly pulling the "woe is me, my knee hurts and I can't afford surgery and Medicaid won't cover it, and Wallstreet and the 1% and blaaaah blaaaaah blaaaaah." I would never engage as I saw it as a waste of time, but a few weeks ago he said something a little condescending, and my reply was "Well, you're in your sixties washing berkeleying windows for a living, complaining about how you don't have any money, so I guess you're really smart, right?"

I've started washing my own damned windows.

Otto Maddox wrote: Am I the only one that gets the red an blue political affiliations mixed up? When I see red, I think communist.

The media swapped it around a while ago. I recall vividly during Regan's run that Republicans were Blue and Dems Red. The media swapped it for reasons I can't imagine. Unless the whole Red = Commie was hitting too close to home.

I guess what I really mean is that it bugs the crap out of me that People will devote so much of their lives to just getting angry about something and doing nothing about it other than finding like minded individuals to bitch with. if they do happen to find someone of opposing view they usually just fight with them rather than try to have anything resembling a actuall discussion of key issues with any kind of progress. if your going to devote so much of your energy to something and feel that what's going on now is bad then do something about it. Start a group, join a group, campaign, just do something other than annoy the hell out of me.

I'm not saying be a dick to your dad but I would be firm that you don't really want to hear about it and I've found if you point out how useless sensless whinning is to most of these type of people they will stop talking politics with you. I have numerous people who I am friends with that we talk about all kinds of other stuff but I've used this approach to keep their hyperpolitical portion out of our conversations.

SyntheticBlinkerFluid wrote: I don't know what to do anymore. It's just constant and I am to the point that I can't block it out. It's getting to the point where spending time with him is just not tolerable anymore.

That's easy. None of the soft approaches will work. You have to tell him, "If you don't stop talking politics, we're not hanging out anymore", then when he tries to justify why he's doing it, stop him in his tracks and tell him again. I've done this in the past, and it works 100%.