I need revenge

Figure out a dessert she doesn't like, and a dessert she does.

Invite close friends over for dinner. Have them bring the dessert she doesn't like. Better if they make it from scratch. Even better if it can be an old family recipe or someone who normally doesn't cook made extra effort to prepare or ingerdients had to be bought from the other side of the city or something. Ask them to talk about (more than once) about how they were going to bring dessert she likes but remembered that she is very particular to dessert she doesn't like. Maybe even piece it into a real memory or two. Like "I remember at the barbeque last fall you were talking about how much you like (dessert) before you told me about (true story)."

You can really play it up while giving friends - who may also want revenge - a chance to play too. After dinner go to the kitchen to serve up dessert "and since you like it so much I'm getting you an extra helping". Friends are excited to see her try their homemade creation.

She's freaking out that she has to eat a huge helping of dessert she doesn't like but doesn't want to disappoint a friend. She's wondering how all these people have specific memories of her saying she likes said dessert. She thinks she's going crazy. 

Then you bring out the dessert she actually likes, and everyone has a good laugh.

I just realized you might have friends who are actors. Actor friends could slay the above plan. 

What kind of job does she have? Any chance you could have a bunch of us do some prank calls? Maybe we set up a theme in case she sends them to voicemail?

I get the feeling your wife is one step ahead of you so I expect she'll be in here shortly to troll you lol

New theory.  OP left his computer logged in to GRM and wife created first post purely to head off any revenge suggestions...

jfryjfry said:

Ahhh dropping off the new race car!   That's a real potential winner.  But it needs to be a crap can of the highest level.  I need to see if I can find one!

Too bad you're on the other side of the country as I have the perfect crap-tastic candidate sitting in my back yard in the form of a wrecked Jetta wagon with a leaking sunroof resulting in an interior requiring a hazmat suite. 

I like the horse delivery gag. Mention to the wife that you bid on a Mustang and won, it'll be delivered when you're at work, can she be there to meet the driver? See her reaction when the hoofed version is dropped off. 

This is the perfect moment for that 1966 hearse. 

I suggest letting her find out that you have some BIG plans to get her on april fools. Like let her see that you made this post. 
do some odd stuff, buy some trick supplies like glitter, balloons, chloroform, little stuff. Reallly build up some suspense. 
 

then, do NOTHING. 

Don't mind me, just scrolling through and taking notes...

I have a bad feeling about this project...

In reply to TJL (Forum Supporter) :

Yes, drive her to insanity like BJ did Hawkeye.

Have a guy show Up as your gay lover, with a searing conscience that he can no longer "live a lie."

Whatever route you take with your prank, be careful...

John Welsh said:

Do you know an attractive, slightly pregnant, young lady who could show up on your doorstep?  You mention that you'll be away and I assume hard to reach. 

In retrospect, this might cause real grief.  

Our son told his mother that she was going to be a grandmother back when he was in highschool. It didn't go over well.

Edit: my bad, wife corrected me, he said he had aids.

Take a picture of a filthy dirty aluminum cylinder head sitting in the dishwasher. Or block. Whatever....

Clean said component or use a new one and retake the picture as the "After".

Show pics to wife and say "Always thought this would work"

Powder-coating in the house oven for the same effect.

Pete

Does she have a specific showering routine? 

Load the shower head with________ of your choice, wait for her to get a little extra. Food coloring is fun. Bonus if you've got one of those removable sprayers with the hose on it, you can preload one of those REALLY well. 

Do you know anyone that works for a towing company?

Have them show up to repo her car, whether or not there's a loan on it.

Have the driver give her another friends number as the number as the number for the repo company so she can call to straighten it out, and they can play it up when she calls. When they feels she's worked up enough they can ask her to conference you in to the call to see if you know anything about what's going on, and you can decide how far to take it.  

Ah so many ideas!

I really like the tow truck idea...  I just don't know anyone with anything like one close by. 
 

and I definitely would take you guys up on the offer to drop off my new project if you were closer - that's a fantastic idea.
 

I'm guessing that staging a horrible on-set accident is not a good idea....  a friend of mine who is all about jokes immediately squashed that one, too. 
 

she very well could be plotting away as I type.   She has slacked a little recently so maybe I'm in the clear!

i appreciate the ideas and help.  
 

Using peoples deepest fears against them isn't a joke, because it isn't funny.

But if you hadn't followed up on that thought, it would have been a great set-up for pranking us.

This whole thread makes me think that running an angle grinder with no guard is a safe endeavor by comparison.

Driven5 said:

Using peoples deepest fears against them isn't a joke, because it isn't funny.

But if you hadn't followed up on that thought, it would have been a great set-up for pranking us.

Ahh that makes sense.  Funny that I have never made that connection in my nearly 50 years on this planet.  
 

and as I think about it, the best pranks I have seen did not play on peoples' fears.  I want to figure out what they did play on (so I can use that to come up with other ideas) but it wasn't fear.  
 

I also wonder why my mind has gone right to fear, thinking it is a good source of humor... I consider myself very considerate and caring but maybe that's just a thin veneer!  

In reply to jfryjfry :

My sole concern with the accident prank is that she might not believe it if something actually did happen down the road. 

But if you know any special effects guys, coming home looking like you were in an accident could walk that line a little better. 

With more time to plan, you could have a stream of guys that look like you all come home, walk in the door, "hi honey" and keep on walking. 

Just as reference, a few of the good jokes I've heard about from my friends:

A guy in the business, whom I know, had a reputation for grabbing peoples' cookies out of their hands at lunchtime and eating it in front of them. So every day for a week, my buddy would take a cookie, go to the bathroom, take a picture of it sitting on his sack, and then re-join the group. He would then hold the cookie in a very available and tempting position for snatching, like he was fishing. 
 

The day finally came when Brad came up behind him, snatched the cookie and shoved it into his mouth. My buddy let him chew on it for a few seconds and asked him how he liked the cookie. "Oh, it's real good," he was told as he chewed away.

so, of course, my buddy slowly pulled out his phone, pulled out the picture he had taken a few minutes earlier, and just held it up. The other guys at the table were in on it and no work was accomplished for quite some time. 

 

At work we have a little area called craft service. Think of it as a small 7-Eleven or convenience store on a couple of tables that you can just help yourself to. Candy, fruit, drinks, coffee, chips, you name it. A friend of mine was working one of his very first jobs and taking full advantage of the perk. 

After a week, one of my friends printed up these very official-looking letters/memos from the production company as a weekly bill for food taken from craft service.

He made them for all of the stunt guys but most were $10 or $15. The new guy's bill was nearly $1000. He flipped out asking how in the world they could possibly know what he took and that he had no idea that he had to pay for it. All the other guys told him that of course he had to pay for it - this was normal. They didn't let them off the hook for quite a while on that one. 
 

My dad used to keep his Porsche covered and one time when my parents were on a trip, I put a bunch of wood blocks under the cover to make it look like I'd trashed his car.

I've thought about finding a totaled version of my wife's car and having it dumped in the driveway.