I'm Barack Obama, and I approve of these jokes

Obama Releases List of Approved Jokes About Himself Bid to Help Late Night Comics

Saying he is "sympathetic to late night comedians' struggle to find jokes to make about me," Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill) today issued a list of official campaign-approved Barack Obama jokes.

The five jokes, which Sen. Obama said he is making available to all comedians free of charge, are as follows:

Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

A traveling salesman knocks on the door of a farmhouse, and much to his surprise, Barack Obama answers the door. The salesman says, "I was expecting the farmer's daughter." Barack Obama replies, "She's not here. The farm was foreclosed on because of subprime loans that are making a mockery of the American Dream."

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" Barack Obama replies, "His jockey just lost his health insurance, which should be the right of all Americans."

What's black and white and red all over? Barack Obama: The New Yorker magazine, which should be embarrassed after publishing such a tasteless and offensive cover, which I reject and denounce.

A Christian, a Jew and Barack Obama are in a rowboat in the middle of the ocean. Barack Obama says, "This joke isn't going to work because there's no Muslim in this boat."

uhhh,

:D

I loled a little bit.

the last one was the best

Did not laugh at all.

****chirp.....chirp......chirp.......

neon4891 wrote: the last one was the best

+1

They just made a not funny.

Uh... sorry, but

FAIL, as the kids are all saying these days...

I do believe that "not funny" is the actual point.

....so Saint Peter says: "First black president!? When the hell did that happen?"

To which Obama replies: "About 5 minutes ago."

knock knock

"who's there?"

"poopshovel, we're from the secret service, we'd like to talk to you about the terroristic threats you made on the internet..."

Coincidence? Poopshovel suddenly off the air?

poopshovel wrote: ....so Saint Peter says: "First black president!? When the hell did that happen?" To which Obama replies: "About 5 minutes ago."

granted he has my vote in Nov., I would honestly not be supriessed...And I think that is the biggest reason I "Hope" he does not pick the LQ for his running mate

poopshovel wrote: ....so Saint Peter says: "First black president!? When the hell did that happen?" To which Obama replies: "About 5 minutes ago."

Thanks, I have a Cheerio lodged in my nose.

I thought this was Barack Hussain Obama's greatest joke:

It was a joke ferchrissake. Someone should've shot FDR though. Seriously.

poopshovel wrote: It was a joke ferchrissake.

Unfortunately it was a joke that was in very poor taste.

Wait, I said that wrong. The joke was OK it is the Obamination that is in poor taste.

Now how do I attach pics? I have some good Obama bumper stickers.

poopshovel wrote: It was a joke ferchrissake. Someone should've shot FDR though. Seriously.

Yeah, that's on my list of things to do when I get that time machine perfected.

Dr. Hess wrote: I thought this was Barack Hussain Obama's greatest joke:

Are you still on about that B.S.?

Dr. Hess wrote: I thought this was Barack Hussain Obama's greatest joke:

I guess I don't get it then. My dad was born in Honolulu. Are you saying he isn't an American? And, uh, in 1961 the name Hussein was a tad more innocuous than it is now. So I'm not sure what you're getting on about.

Josh wrote:

Dr. Hess wrote: I thought this was Barack Hussain Obama's greatest joke:

I guess I don't get it then. My dad was born in Honolulu. Are you saying he isn't an American? And, uh, in 1961 the name Hussein was a tad more innocuous than it is now. So I'm not sure what you're getting on about.

Hess keeps posting a link to a series of articles from an Israeli online news site claiming that Obama's birth certificate is forged. If you haven't heard this news from any legitimate sources, that's because it's not.

Yeah, well, the Joke's going to be on You when the LQ pulls out his real B.C. and proclaims herself the next President in Denver. She'd probably win too.

Dr. Hess wrote: Yeah, well, the Joke's going to be on You when the LQ pulls out his real B.C. and proclaims herself the next President in Denver. She'd probably win too.

He's already a Senator. There are citizenship requirements for that which he's had to meet. Again, you're not pulling this from a legitimate news source.

Another fact is that his mother was a U.S. citizen at the time of his birth. He has therefore been a citizen since birth.