IMO: Troubling trend here at GRM

In my opinion Spyderchat is a wretched hive of villainy and scum too.  There are plenty of trash forums out there, this place is a community that cares about each other. The way it should be. 

In reply to ebonyandivory :

I don't always agree with your posts, but I often do, and I appreciate the way that you express yourself and conduct yourself.

That being said, I hope you won't take this too personally. It seems a little ironic to read you voicing concern about feeling underrepresented here or like you're being singled out for your more conservative viewpoint, as that's probably how some of the posters you were debating with in that other thread feel every day of their lives for different reasons.

You've adopted pretty aggressive viewpoints in the past about driving a truck for no good reason, just because that's what you like. And you've been pretty open and forward about telling people off in order to defend your right. You've argued passionately for us to include truck guys in this community rather than excluding them. Again, it seems to me like there are some parallels there with somebody being very open and forward with their sexuality. In both cases (your truck and your conservative viewpoints), it seems like you frequently feel attacked and excluded, which makes you defensive and has resulted in you being pretty assertive about where you stand on these topics.

I don't mean for this to be personal, but I've noticed you seem increasingly aggressive in defending yourself in recent months, and it seems like your outlook has changed to be more defensive or guarded as if the world is against you. I hope you can consider that the very same outlook, where the world seems to have you outnumbered probably shapes the lives of minorities and under represented groups and makes them feel the way that you've felt recently. Out Motorsports apparently gives some of them a place to feel completely comfortable and avoid feeling the way that you currently feel about this place. Just an observation from an internet stranger. It's worth whatever you want to take from it.

In reply to Brett_Murphy :

Love this idea! I'm going to use it on other automotive forums.

[URL=https://s240.photobucket.com/user/NOTATA/media/24858404_zpsu7igwcky.jpg.html][/URL]

Brett_Murphy said:

I'd love to see one of two pictures hotlinked in any thread that's temporarily locked, as it might help set the general tone of what is happening:

OR

Love this suggestion!

In reference to the characterization of the website as dictatorship. Not inaccurate, but "benevolent dictator" might be more so.

I'm very grateful for this forum.

I prefer the "I'm hosting a party in my house" characterization, but hey, whatever makes people follow the golden rule.

Margie

In reply to Floating Doc :

More a Queen Elizabeth and less Sadam Hussein. 

I run the place more like the Galactic Empire as the governing body and Sheev Palpatine and Darth Vader are the Moderators.  But that is just me.   

Death rays and light sabers tend to keep the ruckus down and every now and then a blaster has to be used!!!

Carbonite Freezing is the time out.  Kind of like this.

STM317, since only a mental health professional would offer your analysis of Ebonyandivory, what does sexual preference have to do with racing? 

Justjim75 said:

What does sexual preference have to do with racing? 

The same thing it has to do with anything other than actually dating or having sex with someone: nothing. Yet too often people are judged and ostracized in daily life for their preferences. Stories like the one we did about Out, and their openness, hopefully help make it clear that people who are different from us aren't, you know, really that different. Takes all kinds of critters to make Farmer Vincent's fritters.

Margie

Marjorie Suddard said:

I think this thread is a great example of how this forum usually works--everyone is usually able to back themselves away from the ledge, whenever we approach it, with no intervention necessary. It's a good conversation 99% of the time.

When it stops being a good conversation, there are times when the mods do need to step in. We have to tread a very fine line between suppressing thoughts (censorship) and moderating the conversation; to that end, instead of deleting and editing posts, we hit pause on a thread and give people time to cool down. Sometimes, if the threads have become absolutely toxic, we leave them locked; more often, we reopen them ASAP so the conversation can continue without (hopefully) personal insults, spurious claims and general bullE36 M3tiness.

Understand and appreciate that we all come from different places, some of us extremely different places, and that is a beautiful thing.

Margie

Margie:

I very much appreciate that approach, and am glad that is your goal.

However, I've had a couple of my posts not only censored, but ALTERED by mods.  I hope that never happens again.  I am not ok with seeing my words altered to something I never said.

Thank you.

Justjim75 said:

STM317, since only a mental health professional would offer your analysis of Ebonyandivory...

I'm a licensed Mental Health Therapist. His analysis is on point. 

If I was to ever make a post that a mod thought was so inflammatory it moved that mod to edit the post, I would:

1) feel embarrassed that i had stepped out of bounds
2) make sure I'm not acting like an ashat
3) take a break from the board as needed

Things I would not do:

1) complain about censorship

nderwater said:

If I was to ever make a post that a mod thought was inflammatory and moved that mod to edit it, I would:

1) feel embarrassed that i had stepped out of bounds
2) make sure I'm not acting like an ashat
3) take a break from the board as needed

Things I would not do:

1) complain about censorship

There is a SUBSTANTIAL difference between having a post deleted in entirety by a mod, and having wording altered by a mod.  Particularly if the altered part is not CLEARLY identified as altered by the mod.

If it happened the latter way as Paul states, there is every reason to complain about the censorship.  Or at least the method of censorship, as Paul did.

In reply to SVreX :

that is not our policy. I believe all our current mods are on that page, but let me know if that happens again. Our set method is a warning by email, three strikes and you're out. It's possible someone was trying to save a dork from those consequences, but as far as I am concerned no one is immune.

Margie

A phrase I heard somewhere rings true to this discussion: opinions are like buttholes (ill keep it clean), everybody has one.. 

SVreX said:

Marjorie Suddard said:

I think this thread is a great example of how this forum usually works--everyone is usually able to back themselves away from the ledge, whenever we approach it, with no intervention necessary. It's a good conversation 99% of the time.

When it stops being a good conversation, there are times when the mods do need to step in. We have to tread a very fine line between suppressing thoughts (censorship) and moderating the conversation; to that end, instead of deleting and editing posts, we hit pause on a thread and give people time to cool down. Sometimes, if the threads have become absolutely toxic, we leave them locked; more often, we reopen them ASAP so the conversation can continue without (hopefully) personal insults, spurious claims and general bullE36 M3tiness.

Understand and appreciate that we all come from different places, some of us extremely different places, and that is a beautiful thing.

Margie

Margie:

I very much appreciate that approach, and am glad that is your goal.

However, I've had a couple of my posts not only censored, but ALTERED by mods.  I hope that never happens again.  I am not ok with seeing my words altered to something I never said.

Thank you.

I think that if you have proof of this you should have taken this up with the powers that be here at GRM behind closed doors. 

I will use Marjorie's party on the patio example.  If this was a real life gathering on her patio would you stand in the middle of it and start yelling that your freedom of speech is being restricted by the host?  I think not.  You would/should inquire discreetly with the owner of the patio and then make a decision as to your participation in future partys that the host gives. 

If, on the other hand, you think standing in the middle of the gathering on the patio and yelling for all to hear that the host is censoring your conversations and you think that this is the proper way to handle things I think you need to re evaluate things. 

In reply to dean1484 :

I have plenty of "proof".  It's documented by email with the mod.

I saw no reason to upset the guests at the party, or attack a mod who has a difficult job already and has been otherwise excellent, so I kept it discreet.   I spoke to the moderator directly, and have no need to whine further.

Please be careful about implying that I am potentially being untruthful publicly.  If you believe that, take it up with me directly (or GRM).  It's the way to handle it like a man.

Let's back away from the emotional language and escalation.  Among the many ironies and self contradictions in this conversation, it stands out as most unproductive and tone-deaf.

Margie

In reply to SVreX :

Addressing the simple fact that having proof of what did or did not occur makes it far easier to address an issue, is in no way implying that you are being potentially untruthful...Much like airing that particular grievance in this thread, is neither keeping it discreet nor letting it go.

In reply to Driven5 :

It's been resolved. Nothing to prove. 
 

I didn't come here to air a grievance. I didn't come here to say anything at all. Just responding to what Margie said.

I had an issue. I dealt with it directly with the person who made the error. Resolved. 
 

I don't do "My Face You Twit Tube Space Book dot Com" or any other type of online gathering.  Only GRM.

We argue sometimes, and yes it gets a little heated, and yes the mods do an outstanding, thankless job.

BTW, Mods, Thank you! Seriously, Thank you.

Go to forum "z" and put "x" engine in "y" car? They will try to reach through the screen and strangle you.

Here? The response it "Yessss!  go for it!" quickly followed by "Ya gonna turbocharge that? I got some parts...."

You will not find a better place for gear headed stuff anywhere on the internet.

In reply to Javelin :

I wasnt' aware you could do that from forum posts, but fair enough.   Maybe you can move your practice to Pirate4x4, that place is a gold mine!

Edit: lol

In reply to dean1484 :

Censorship is one thing, saying he said something he did not is a whole different thing.  If you told me your wife was hot, and i told her you said she was average,  that is not censorship.   Miss Marjorie said it shouldn't happen again so I'm satisfied with that, but what you said about the patio is a different party than what happened to SVreX