Just Announced: Covid-19 Board Rules

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:

March 16, 2020 - Ormond Beach, FL - Grassroots Motorsports (NASDAQ:GRM) the only worthwhile online forum did not announce new rules for their GRM forum today, and no one remotely connected to the site was quoted as saying "we need to keep our members safe from COVID-19, even though most don't leave their basements already."  The rules, which again were not actually released, are designed to avoid the spread of any virus that might contaminate the popular forum site and bring a halt to important discussions about Miatas, Harbor Freight tools and what Craigslist POS car to purchase.

1. All posts must be kept a minimum of 6 posts apart. If there are not at least 6 other posts between your posts, the topic is not popular enough and you should consider being a more interesting person.
2. All threads are restricted to a maximum of 25 posts to avoid post gatherings which could rapidly spread viruses. Except when sharing hotlinks. (duh)
3. Please take proper precautions before posting: search to see if the topic already exists, don't post that same meme again, avoid trigger words like "Trump" or "Fiat".
4. Only posts deemed essential will be allowed, so please ensure that your post explains how to datalog in Megasquirt or corner weight a Formula Vee.
5. Posts asking what car to buy while discounting all viable options will be deleted as there are no $4K manual, V-8, RWD, station wagons that can set a record at VIR out there.
6. Posts with cool pictures of rad cars are immune to viruses and are therefore permitted.

 Pinchvalve, a regular user of the site we spoke to said in response to the new rules "I have a neighbirhood of kids in my house today so I have given up on being productive". In response, GRM's webmaster said "I swear I keep deleting that guy's account."

Should have just edited this into the first post of the other thread!

I'll do my best. 

Hey! I don't have a basement! Don't lump me in with those people!

I really prefer to call the thing "Wuhan" in keeping with the whole "credit where credit is due," yadda, yadda, yadda.

pinchvalve said:

In response, a GRM moderator said "I swear I keep deleting that guy's account."

I really don't understand it.  The system says his account has been deactivated?

This is the best thing I've seen all day. Thanks for the laugh, Pinchy . 

<joke> These rules of engagement should make the millennials feel at home. No large groups. Keep your distances from each other. Dont face each other. Never step foot inside a bank. Just communicate via electronic means. Stay inside.  </joke>

I almost kept a straight face as I griped about the new rules and handed the phone to Pyro.

FIAT.

Lol.

Well played. If I had one of those foam hands on a 6 foot long stick I would consider offering you a high five.

No mention of washing hands? No mention of "utmost important". Do these rules even count? 

RossD said:

<joke> These rules of engagement should make the millennials feel at home. No large groups. Keep your distances from each other. Dont face each other. Never step foot inside a bank. Just communicate via electronic means. Stay inside.  </joke>

as an avowed introvert, I see nothing wrong with that. Except for the Staying inside bit. I like getting out in nature

Thoughts and prayers

I couldn't love GRM the magazine or the website more, and believe me, I don't like to be the P.C police or anything or the guy who has a problem with everything thing, but I do have a problem with this... 

I find it a bit offensive that you use terms like “virus” etc etc... for your little descriptions or whatever in the above rules. I myself do not have a virus, nor am I "Viral" or even interesting, but I feel sensitivity for sick people as I am a student taking medical classes, and my Girlfriend is pursuing her masters in the field. 

These terms although I'm pretty sure are not even real words, are obviously meant to resemble the words used to describe people with a real disease, and it appears that they are used on these boards in a joking sense which, as I view it, makes light of people who are afflicted with 'The Wuhan"

In reply to pinchvalve :

Very clever! We needed this humor ... as well as the some of the subsequent responses. Thank's for starting this thread.

Late breaking update: To minimize the spread of the virus, cross platform engine swaps are temporarily banned. If you were in the process of a cross platform engine swap, you may finish it, but the resulting build must be tuned on a closed course or dyno. No driving on public roads is permitted until the fuel/air ratio is optimized from idle to redline. 

 

Ill bet none of you sickos washed their hands before posting. 

Appleseed said:

Ill bet none of you sickos washed their hands before posting. 

I'm touching my face right now.

What happened to don't get it on your hootus?!?

In reply to Javelin :

If you can get your face on your hootus, there probably a place on the internet you could make a few bucks.

Further update:

While it is acknowledged that the risk the virus poses to late-model vehicles amounts to little more than a slight misfire that can't be recreated or diagnosed, the risk increases exponentially to elder vehicular members of the GRM family, who would normally grace the pages of GRM's sister publication Classic Motorsports. The risk is exacerbated in patients with pre-existing conditions such as worn valve guides, premature mis-fires, low air:fuel ratios, low compression, and rear main oil seal leaks. Symptoms can best be described as a period of "malaise" that can quickly and dangerously turn towards the guard-rail with no warning, and will require extensive intervention. In the interest of protecting our loved elder family members, all members are urged to practice restraint on personal projects, and lend assistance to maintain elder members' overall road-worthy health and well-being.

In reply to Brett_Murphy :

Are inter generational swaps still ok, plan on getting back to work on my 16v mk1 vw project soon. Or is that a loophole because it was offered in a scirocco? 
 

If it means it will get green lit it will be using megasquirt...I'm prepared to go on the record to say that it's a safety upgrade over Bosch cis.

Where is the face mask emoji?

Robbie said:

Appleseed said:

Ill bet none of you sickos washed their hands before posting. 

I'm touching my face right now.

Nice knowing you. 

1SlowVW said:

In reply to Brett_Murphy :

Are inter generational swaps still ok, plan on getting back to work on my 16v mk1 vw project soon. Or is that a loophole because it was offered in a scirocco? 
 

If it means it will get green lit it will be using megasquirt...I'm prepared to go on the record to say that it's a safety upgrade over Bosch cis.

This is no different from an athlete donating their heart to an elderly patient. Approved.