Learn me: Engagement Rings and Rewards Credit Cards

trigun7469 wrote: I bought a ring in Feb, first off do you know her ring size? Does she have any diamond jewelry?

She does not have any diamond jewelry, and I do not know her ring size. Her mom does though.

AngryCorvair wrote:

tuna55 wrote: Clarity and Qualtiy are more important than size to men, or to women who think like men

FTFY. Size, cut, color, clarity, pretty much in that order.

Not my wife! She was worried that 5/8 would be too big. By the way, I am amazed (in a good, pat on the back way) that you haven't turned that into a penis joke yet.

Pseudonym wrote:

trigun7469 wrote: I bought a ring in Feb, first off do you know her ring size? Does she have any diamond jewelry?

She does not have any diamond jewelry, and I do not know her ring size. Her mom does though.

That's what I did - a call to Mom to ask the size and a handshake from Dad to ask permission and you end up with a lot happier engagement.

As far as financing the ring- I ended up financing it through the jeweler. Sure it would have been nice to have had the rewards points on my Chase Freedom card, but with financing it through them I won't have to pay any interest on it if I pay it off completely in a year which is completely doable. I'd likely not make enough more on CC rewards to offset the interest charges on the ring's cost while I was paying it off if I'd put it on my normal card (if I'd had any 0% interest courtesy check though...)

Haven't had time to read through the whole thread, but here's my $.02 on the engagement ring thing. Keep in mind it's been 16 years now since I did this, but hopefully things haven't changed.

Several months before I bought the ring, I asked my wife (uh...girlfriend at the time...) to draw a picture of her dream ring. I had kind of played it off by just talking to her about rings in general and I asked her what she likes. I pretended to not completely understand what she was saying, so I asked her to draw it. I knew she didn't want some honking 6ct rock, so I wasn't worried she'd need a 4'x8' posterboard to draw it. I kept that picture and went into a few jewelers that were recommended to me. I put the picture on the table and said "Make this...how much will it cost?" I went with the jeweler who gave me the best price and best service. I had one very happy wife...uh...girlfriend...uh fiancee.

As for the center diamond itself, I went with color and clarity. It's been a while, so I forget the rating scale. Her center diamond is very high on the clarity and color scale. It's major "issue" is that it had a moderate flaw at the bottom. However, that part is encased in the posts that hold the diamond in, so the only way you'd ever see it is if you used a powerful microscope from the top.

And just because I wanted to be polite, I did ask my father in law to be for "permission". Even if he had so no, I still would have proposed, but I thought it was the right thing to do.

And financing...if you can swing a small payment, go for it. Most jewelers can assist.

pinchvalve wrote: If you are under 35, marriage is a bad idea. Just saying.

Congratulations on being THAT guy!

AngryCorvair wrote:

tuna55 wrote: Clarity and Qualtiy are more important than size to men, or to women who think like men

FTFY. Size, cut, color, clarity, pretty much in that order.

Pretty dumb in reality. Anything but the absolute lowest quality diamonds will have no flaws visible to the naked eye.

z31maniac wrote:

AngryCorvair wrote:

tuna55 wrote: Clarity and Qualtiy are more important than size to men, or to women who think like men

FTFY. Size, cut, color, clarity, pretty much in that order.

Pretty dumb in reality. Anything but the absolute lowest quality diamonds will have no flaws visible to the naked eye.

Put 'em side by side under good lighting and you can easily tell one from the other - trust me, I did it. Over and over.

tuna55 wrote:

z31maniac wrote:

AngryCorvair wrote:

tuna55 wrote: Clarity and Qualtiy are more important than size to men, or to women who think like men

FTFY. Size, cut, color, clarity, pretty much in that order.

Pretty dumb in reality. Anything but the absolute lowest quality diamonds will have no flaws visible to the naked eye.

Put 'em side by side under good lighting and you can easily tell one from the other - trust me, I did it. Over and over.

I handled jewelry claims for two years. If you're referring to "Brilliance" or "Fire", in other words OOOHHH IT'S SPARKLY!, that's more down to the number and quality of facets vs the number of inclusions. Anything at SI2 or greater will not be visible to the naked eye.

Even SI2 means you can see something magnified at 10x.

JoeyM wrote: Smart to put the disclaimer at the top. We'll leave you alone. :-) I don't have much to add other than color, cut, clarity. Heirloom diamonds reset in a modern band are supposed to save you money.

The last sentence is the answer. But not so simple.

More often than not, the woman in question wants to be deeply involved in the process. Buying an estate diamond means that it is a "Used" rock and good luck with that. Never mind that the damn things are millions of years old and the fact that the jeweler might sell you an estate diamond also!

Estate diamonds go for cheap because they are a pig in a poke. Unless you know how to qualify it, you are not guaranteed of anything. Can't really BS your way out of anything with the little woman, since she is going to want to insure the precious little pebble ( at least for a while ) and this will require an appraisal.

Pseudonym wrote: Oh, my other thought was spending $50 on a CZ off of craigslist/ebay/overstock.com/pawn shop, propose with that in the morning, then take her to a real jewelry shop and getting the real deal in the afternoon, so that she can pick it out. I'm leaning against this, because I do think that I have decent taste, and I will be taking her best friend shopping to make sure I'm not really messing up--and I'd just like to pick it out.

I proposed on an international trip so didn't want to transport a diamond overseas and into strange territory. That and I knew my wife would be nervous carrying that around for the vacation. I then purchased a CZ and proposed with it. We then went back to the shop and picked up the diamond I purchased originally. It worked great. If you didn't know, you would've never guessed it was a CZ while it was new. I hear they don't age well so over time you'd be able to tell I imagine.

She loved it. She still has the CZ and wears it if we're going somewhere that she doesn't want to take the diamond like on a trip for instance.

NOHOME wrote:

JoeyM wrote: Smart to put the disclaimer at the top. We'll leave you alone. :-) I don't have much to add other than color, cut, clarity. Heirloom diamonds reset in a modern band are supposed to save you money.

The last sentence is the answer. But not so simple. More often than not, the woman in question wants to be deeply involved in the process. Buying an estate diamond means that it is a "Used" rock and good luck with that. Never mind that the damn things are millions of years old and the fact that the jeweler might sell you an estate diamond also! Estate diamonds go for cheap because they are a pig in a poke. Unless you know how to qualify it, you are not guaranteed of anything. Can't really BS your way out of anything with the little woman, since she is going to want to insure the precious little pebble ( at least for a while ) and this will require an appraisal.

I never told my wife how much it cost, and the appraisal was WELL above what the purchase price was... Just FYI

No women have chimed in yet eh? (I know there's at least one lurking around here)

We're coming up on our 2 year anniversary in a couple of weeks, and over 4 years of being together. Every woman is different, wants different things, etc. In our case, I found out what she wanted, her tastes, etc, and then went out and shopped the ring myself. It's the best of both worlds, IMO, because you don't risk screwing up with some Pear-cut ring on a gold band when she really wanted Princess cut on platinum- BUT- you also get points for taking the initiative to get it yourself and there's always a bit of a thrill with the "surprise!" aspect of it.

Hers are estate rings. I bought them both (engagement and band) online, from different retailers (both well- established). Both are around 80 or 90 years old, and despite being not a set, they work very well together. White gold, and the engagement rock is about 1/2 karat. Don't remember the cut, or clarity, but it's very shiny and pretty and makes her happy. I think the pair set me back about 2k. That's less than I make in one month, after taxes. Mrs. Volvoclearinghouse is not a high-maintenance girl.

I was, in fact, 34 when we got married, and I felt that was long enough to wait. I'm also glad I waited for the right woman. That, more than my age, was the most important thing.

Oh, and let me also plug www.etsy.com. If you or her are into unique jewelry, there's lots of cool vintage and handmade stuff there. I have two bands (one for work and one for going out), both of which my wife found on etsy. Both are Titanium, which I love- I have a fairly large (size 14) ring finger, and the Ti is super light for it's size. It also was not expensive. Both rings were handmade and unique in their own way; the work ring was about $75 and the more elaborate one (with inlaid bits of copper, brass, bronze, aluminum, and stainless) was about $250.

tuna55 wrote: I never told my wife how much it cost, and the appraisal was WELL above what the purchase price was... Just FYI

Please know I'm not picking on you, just relaying my experience from handling this kind of thing.

Appraisals are typically inflated to make you (the general you) feel good. When the insurance company comes back and says we can replace your $10,000 ring EXACTLY for $6800.........you will be disappointed.........then pissed off that you were paying insurance on an unnecessarily high value.

Any piece of jewelry over about $500 should really be on a Personal Articles Policy.

volvoclearinghouse wrote: We're coming up on our 2 year anniversary in a couple of weeks, and over 4 years of being together. Every woman is different, wants different things, etc.

This is the main thing: Pick what SHE wants. For example, my wife likes square things, but not Princess cut diamonds, so I bought her an Asscher cut diamond on the engagement ring. A bit of an unorthodox choice, but it was perfect for her. Some women may not even want a diamond.

For those keeping score at home, this is currently on hold until the government gets their heads' out of their asses. I'm waiting on my tax refund (I had the deadline extended), so until they get me my money, I ain't buyin a ring.

THANKS OBAMA

Swank Force One wrote: THANKS OBAMA

LOL.

I am seriously considering in the next election cycle to look at nothing regarding the candidates history and just voting for whomever is not the incumbent.

Pseudonym wrote:

Swank Force One wrote: THANKS OBAMA

LOL. I am seriously considering in the next election cycle to look at nothing regarding the candidates history and just voting for whomever is not the incumbent.

that makes your presidential choices easy.

JoeyM wrote:

Pseudonym wrote:

Swank Force One wrote: THANKS OBAMA

LOL. I am seriously considering in the next election cycle to look at nothing regarding the candidates history and just voting for whomever is not the incumbent.

that makes your presidential choices easy.

In that case, it will be the Libertarian or the Green party candidate most likely. I live in a state that will go to one party in a landslide, so my vote really doesn't matter.

Caveat to this: There is one Republican candidate that I might vote for if he gets in. But that is still up for debate.

I picked out a ring full well knowing I could return it for one she liked better (I was 100% certain of a ‘yes’). After popping the question and getting a yes we went together and picked out something she liked, that way you have something for the moment and then are 100% sure of getting it right for the long term.

A little bit of personal bragging. To pop the question we went for dinner at the Whitney in Detroit (one of, if not the best restaurants in SE MI for the non-locals) Between dinner and desert we went for a walk around the garden and while holding her hand I managed to slip the ring on without her noticing so once I popped the Q and she said yes she looked down to find the ring already on her finger.

BTW, do people really get suckered into the 1/4 of salary thing? I think ours was less than 2% of salary and it's what she wanted. If any other industry was as priced fixed as DeBeers has diamonds world governments would have shut them down a century ago for price fixing. I think diamonds make a 20 year old Ferrari with no maintenance records look like a bargain.

Adrian_Thompson wrote: BTW, do people really get suckered into the 1/4 of salary thing? I think ours was less than 2% of salary and it's what she wanted. If any other industry was as priced fixed as DeBeers has diamonds world governments would have shut them down a century ago for price fixing. I think diamonds make a 20 year old Ferrari with no maintenance records look like a bargain.

The one I have in the process of being designed and made is going to cost more than we'd initially planned- but also be WORTH far, far more than what I'm paying for it since the only diamonds I'm paying for are a bunch of small accent ones thanks to being able to have the stones from a family ring re-mounteded. I fully expect to get scolded by the soon-to-be fiance about spending too much on the ring when she first sees it before I can explain exactly what happened.

Adrian_Thompson wrote: BTW, do people really get suckered into the 1/4 of salary thing? I think ours was less than 2% of salary and it's what she wanted. If any other industry was as priced fixed as DeBeers has diamonds world governments would have shut them down a century ago for price fixing. I think diamonds make a 20 year old Ferrari with no maintenance records look like a bargain.

I bet that a surprising amount of people do get suckered into it.

And yeah, the price fixing thing is infuriating.