Learn me metrosexuals

I mean the people, not some weird distortion of the car.

A young man is pursuing my daughter and, honestly, I can't figure him out.

He's not your ordinary guy.

He's a Marine, loves God and country, and seems to be dedicated and responsible.

But he also speaks with a lisp, likes pedicures and shoe shopping and dresses in themed outfits. Flamboyant.

He's clearly heterosexual, but after that I'm not sure how to take him.

He's 10 years older than my daughter and pursuing her like crazy. He's overdoing a lot- flowers every time they meet, poems, dozens of communications daily and they've only known each other for a week or two.

He is also self-absorbed and doesn't seem to have any clear sense of personal space or boundaries- stays too long, dominates conversations, shows up unannounced at private family affairs, turned down my offer of a handshake and grabbed me for a big hug the first time we met, etc. etc.

I'm trying to be encouraging of my daughter, but this guy has all my warning bells going off.

Part of it is I really don't think I get the whole metrosexual thing. I don't understand why a heterosexual man would adopt mannerisms that send such mixed social cues. Doesn't this lead to being a social outcast? Looks to me like someone with a self esteem problem who can't figure out how to express honest masculinity, or would rather be something he's not.

Enlighten me. How do I encourage my daughter on this one?

Tempting though that may be, I'm not sure that will endear me to my daughter...

SVreX wrote: Enlighten me. How do I encourage my daughter on this one?

That comes down to one main thing.

How does your daughter feel about this?

(You explained how much older he is than your daughter, but how old is she. I have a friend (21) dating a guy 11 years older and that verges on creepy.)

She's 21. Creepy is a good word.

Her feelings are a little hard to sort out right now. She is at a transition moment of her life and extremely emotionally vulnerable. She's clingy, and just liking the attention, without much discernment.

I got on an elevator in the John Hancock building in Chicago and noticed some dude had the nicest pedicure with the white tips? My wife was jealous.

Can he rebuild and synch up a pair of SU's?

pete240z wrote: Can he rebuild and synch up a pair of SU's?

Let's not discriminate...He might be more of the Megasquirt persuasion.

He is breaking the man code age rule. Age/2 + 7 years = 22-1/2. She is too young.

http://wikiindex.org/Wiki_Man_Code

He's breaking a LOT of man code rules!

SVreX wrote: She's 21. Creepy is a good word. Her feelings are a little hard to sort out right now. She is at a transition moment of her life and extremely emotionally vulnerable. She's clingy, and just liking the attention, without much discernment.

Yea, my pedo-dar is screaming. 21 is that perfect age especially if your daughter is the young-looking pretty, like my friend. She looks under 18. If that is the case, maybe question what he is really after. If she's small, a few drinks and... you're Dad. You know.

EDIT: (The smart guys stop chasing the younger ones and chase the older ones)

I'm sure he'th very thenthitize and maybe that'th what she wanth now for thome reason.

Ok, seriously, i'd talk with him directly and just tell him that he's creepy. Put him on the spot and see how he reacts.

Thelica may be right.

She barely looks 16.

Part of the difficulty is that she just left for a year long internship in Asia. None of us will be seeing her any time soon.

Taking advantage of her after a few drinks is not an option. He says she is the girl of his dreams, and that they met at an unfortunate time.

I am concerned, however, that he could spend the next year emailing and Skyping her every day.

I am having dinner with him tonight. Trying to figure out what I want to say to him.

Is gay and looking for a beard? He knows that with DADT ending, he doesn't have to do that anymore, right?

In reply to SVreX:

Perfect. While you "say something to him," I'll say something to him.

Ok. What time? Make sure you check back here. I'll think of something good. Be sure to check the sex offender registry.

He's an active duty Marine. I kind of doubt he'd show up on the registry.

racinginc215 wrote: I'll retract my first statement. and go with 3 words SHOOT HIM NOW. Or you could play along. every time he's around get all clingy and kinda gay on him. rub up on him make him feel uncomfortable. tell him you know he's gay and he's using your daughter to get to you. stuff like that. or shoot him.

NOW who's creepy???

Any Marines, cover your eyes now:

I don't trust any marines much anyway. Kinda weird. Although they do a great job protecting us all in The States! (in case they peeked... not that its a lie.. just..) I'd check anyway, though you are probably right. But are you 100% sure hes a Marine?

OK, you can uncover your eyes now.

How about we assume the best for a few moments.

How do I take this guy seriously? What is metro other than gay lite?

Why would a heterosexual male choose mannerisms like this?

I am 1000% sure he is a Marine. Lance Corporal. Stationed at the local base.

Oh, and for what it is worth, I DO trust Marines.

SVreX wrote: How about we assume the best for a few moments. How do I take this guy seriously? What is metro other than gay lite? Why would a heterosexual male choose mannerisms like this?

If we assume the best, there is nothing to worry about. If you want to take him seriously, you need to know him on a personal level. First learn what his likes and dislikes are. Ask why he likes your daughter. She may be 21, but you've made it obvious you love and care about her very much. He is very touchey-feeley, so he will be willing to talk about anything. Tell him that he may come off a little different than most guys who come around your daughter and he will probably know what you mean. Once you break that shield of ice, you can really ask whatever else you want... considering.

He is also a strong professing Christian who writes very fluidly about the depth of his faith (which I respect).

Though I am a Christian, I generally trust Marines more than Christians.

SVreX wrote: I am 1000% sure he is a Marine. Lance Corporal. Stationed at the local base. Oh, and for what it is worth, I DO trust Marines.

Part of a Marines job is to be trusted in situations where people should not trust them. They learn to trick, and things learned are hard to unlearn. Nothing against the people or the training. Not to change the subject, but they do a good job, so it must be necessary.

Interesting observation.

Are you suggesting the metro thing might be a trick? Or was that completely separate?

SVreX wrote: Interesting observation. Are you suggesting the metro thing might be a trick? Or was that completely separate?

Completely separate. Unless it makes me sound smart...

Smart? Your avatar has Bert in a lineup...