Whoo Hoo - the wife and I are feeling the pinch on the budget. I don't want to argue and blame her.
Got any dollar stretching tips? Ketchup, hot water, and crackers to make tomato soup?
Whoo Hoo - the wife and I are feeling the pinch on the budget. I don't want to argue and blame her.
Got any dollar stretching tips? Ketchup, hot water, and crackers to make tomato soup?
Hmmm, not a lot of info to go on but been through this myself.
More detail about the budget is required for accurate advice.
Spend less. Earn more. 
Rack up credit card debt. It's the American way!
Nah, I got nothing other than to echo your own advice and "don't blame her". How bad is the pinch?
In reply to Beer Baron:
Not bad, a part time job or a bump in pay would take care of it.
Both of you need to be involved in making the budget, and both of you need to be involved in following it or coming up with solutions during the inevitable "pinch". That is the solution.
If only one person "pays the bills" or is the sole person who monitors the accounts, then the only feedback the other person ever gets is, "don't spend any money". When the pinch is over there is never a follow-up "it's OK to spend money now" conversation, so the other person starts to feel blamed, even if that is not the intent of the person monitoring the accounts.
Sit down together, look at the payables, look at the projected income, and work together to figure out what can be squoze a little, and what the actual budget will be for food, gas, shelter and utilities. Everything else comes after those in priority. With planning, you should be able to fit everything in, but it will time before some things make it into the budget.
There was an episode of the Simpsons where they had a similar situation. Bart offered to take up smoking and then quit to save money. Think that would work?
Datsun310Guy wrote: Not bad, a part time job or a bump in pay would take care of it.
Is it caused by a sudden drop in pay? Sudden bump in expenses? Slowly eating through savings by having expenses just slightly higher than income?
Were you already on a pretty tight budget or are there ways you can tighten your belts a notch?
EastCoastMojo wrote: Both of you need to be involved in making the budget, and both of you need to be involved in following it or coming up with solutions during the inevitable "pinch". That is the solution. If only one person "pays the bills" or is the sole person who monitors the accounts, then the only feedback the other person ever gets is, "don't spend any money". When the pinch is over there is never a follow-up "it's OK to spend money now" conversation, so the other person starts to feel blamed, even if that is not the intent of the person monitoring the accounts. Sit down together, look at the payables, look at the projected income, and work together to figure out what can be squoze a little, and what the actual budget will be for food, gas, shelter and utilities. Everything else comes after those in priority. With planning, you should be able to fit everything in, but it will time before some things make it into the budget.
+1
Datsun310Guy wrote: I don't want to argue and blame her.
What is this want crap? You HAVE to. This is how it has always been done. Lets just hope she is strong enough to accept blame here.
We will be okay. We can tighten up one more notch. I was looking for more tightwad ideas.......
http://thetightwadgazette.blogspot.com/
http://www.ultimatecheapskate.com/index.cgi
http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2012/03/22/selling-the-dream-how-to-make-your-spouse-love-frugality/
(there is a part 2 article too)
I'm not married, but I'm struggling with this with my girlfriend. My savings rate is pretty good (>30% of gross), but I want to make sure she's on board for the long haul, and hopefully increase that number a lot more.
In reply to ProDarwin:
LOL. My buddy always said that if everyone in the world drove a beige Taurus........
Meet a good friend Dave Ramsey
His book(s) is available for free at your local library.
You can watch him on Fox Business Channel or better yet, you can youtube up a lot about him and his advice.
Good starting video.
Catch more for free on his radio talk show.
I have read a few of his books from the library recently. A year ago after my wife started running up hospital bills and missing work we had a bit of money trouble. I've got almost everything paid back down and under control with some fairly painless changes.
Don't watch television. You don't need all that E36 M3 pitched to you on the commercials. Second hand stores rule! So does cooking from scratch vs processed food.
Lesley wrote: Second hand stores rule!
This has become one of my recent favorite things. Craigslist/yardsales/consignment shops/etc. Most consumer stuff depreciates like 50% immediately, and probably down below 25% in the first year.
My favorite recent acquisition is a decent wooden step-stool I got for $3.
I really hope I can get handy enough and collect enough to do the wood floors in my house with salvage/leftover wood.
My wife and I never argue.
I make my point and she becomes completely irrational.
Dollar stretching?
No way to do that, just earn more.
The way that works for me is, the eBay used parts thing pays for my hobbies, that way my paycheque takes care of housing and food.
No extra work to generate fun money = no fun. It becomes a good motivator.
Shawn
As Lesley said Second Hand stores.
Also have sex constantly!! You are too busy to argue if you are having sex.. Make sure you are protected though, If not the expenses will go up..
Eat less meat . . .
EastCoastMojo wrote: Both of you need to be involved in making the budget, and both of you need to be involved in following it or coming up with solutions during the inevitable "pinch". That is the solution. If only one person "pays the bills" or is the sole person who monitors the accounts, then the only feedback the other person ever gets is, "don't spend any money". When the pinch is over there is never a follow-up "it's OK to spend money now" conversation, so the other person starts to feel blamed, even if that is not the intent of the person monitoring the accounts. Sit down together, look at the payables, look at the projected income, and work together to figure out what can be squoze a little, and what the actual budget will be for food, gas, shelter and utilities. Everything else comes after those in priority. With planning, you should be able to fit everything in, but it will time before some things make it into the budget.
^^^^ THIS
And sign up at mint.com to help do it. Its free. 100% transparency to every transaction you make. Build the budget, stick do it, and be accountable to each other. With mint, each of us has immediate access to every penny, right in the phone we carry every day.
The Dave Ramsey type plans give you a priority list to knock it out, and help form a light at the end of the tunnel, but fundamentally it just takes living within your means. If its really tight, shred the credit cards and go to an "envelope system" of cash allowances by category.
garage sales and shopping at Aldi works wonders for the budget. especially garage sales and second hand stores/clearance racks for kids clothes that they'll be out of in a matter of months anyway.
Separate accounts.
Tips...
I'm sure there is some stuff I missed but these should get you started toward a thrifty lifestyle.
You haven't said what the root cause is? Is it a reduction in income, gradual overspending starting to catch up, medical, emergency housing or transport expense. How you got to this point is a start on how to get out of it.
How many cars do you have? Sell one. Does one of you 'collect' things? EBay themoff Stop going to Starbucks or out to eat. Do one of you have a shoe habbit! Brown bag lunch Buy a more efficient car. Stop smoking or drinking
The how leads to the resolution
There is no such thing as a money problem. It is always a symptom of a deeper root problem (communication? fear? pride? shame? selfishness? laziness? stress? etc...)
A budget is not a limitation. It is a tool for communicating between 2 people, and frees each of them to move forward without fear, knowing their partner has already approved of the expense.
For example... my wife and I budget. I trust her to follow the budget. If she comes home with a new dress, I don't need to get pissed off because I am afraid of not having enough, I need to focus on the fact that I've ALREADY APPROVED THE CLOTHING BUDGET. We agreed, she stuck to it. No fights. Very freeing.
When there is a change, we talk about it and change the budget. It's not that hard. (Don't assume a budget is carved in concrete, and have monthly reviews to make adjustments when necessary).
Failure to communicate well and use tools like budgets to help communicate information leads to fights.
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