Minor rant thread. Post your rants o' the day here!

stanger_missle said:

Oh, I also forgot, its that time of the year when yearly performance reviews are due. Except here, your manager/supervisor doesn't rate you; you rate yourself. I barely know my position's function since it doesn't even come close to matching what the job description is.

And I thought the military did things berkeleying stupid. Nothing could prepare me for corporate America though

Usually the employee ranks themselves,  then the manager comes behind and comments over the top of that.  At least rate yourself mid to high,  if they disagree they'll bump it down,  but at least you gave yourself a shot.

I've been divorced for going on 10 years now and while it took me a while, I rarely think about my ex or how E36 M3ty the divorce settlement was.

Then this evening I saw a piece of paper poking out from under a drawer of my dresser.  Somehow our back-and-forth lists of what marital assets we'd each get we're stuffed into a gap that can't really be accessed.  It was a nice reminder of just how garbage divorce can be.  
 

I guess I'll sit up and enjoy one small bourbon before bed.  Lists are in the garbage, ex is in the past.  
 

****don't get married and have kids, the odds aren't in your favor.

In reply to KyAllroad (Jeremy) :

Calculated risk. That's why I fly and ride motorcycles. It might kill me, but its worth it

Cotton said:

stanger_missle said:

Oh, I also forgot, its that time of the year when yearly performance reviews are due. Except here, your manager/supervisor doesn't rate you; you rate yourself. I barely know my position's function since it doesn't even come close to matching what the job description is.

And I thought the military did things berkeleying stupid. Nothing could prepare me for corporate America though

Usually the employee ranks themselves,  then the manager comes behind and comments over the top of that.  At least rate yourself mid to high,  if they disagree they'll bump it down,  but at least you gave yourself a shot.

Rate yourself as perfect. It’s a tool for them to justify not giving you as much of a raise as possible. Make them realize they’d fall apart without you  track every little thing you do, from plunging the toilet to preparing executive decks. 

“Despite the pack of a clear job description and function, I have performed in an exemplary manor that befits such an organization. In addition to the regular responsibilities that I have performed with aplomb, I’ve taken the initiative to do XYZ, ABC, and 123, which has resulted in (quantifiable result of money/time/resources saved, revenue generated, risk mitigated)”

Always give something quantifiable. And if you can’t find it, there is always a risk mitigated if you look hard enough. Learned backup duty? Mitigated key-person risk. Taught someone back up duty? Same thing. Fixed something? Physical hazard risk reduced. Whistle-blew to management on something they weren’t aware of? Reputation risk. 

stanger_missle said:

Oh, I also forgot, its that time of the year when yearly performance reviews are due. Except here, your manager/supervisor doesn't rate you; you rate yourself. I barely know my position's function since it doesn't even come close to matching what the job description is.

And I thought the military did things berkeleying stupid. Nothing could prepare me for corporate America though

we are supposed to get yearly reviews. In my 16 years of working here, I have never had one. 

Ah... annual evaluations....

As I line level supervisor, one of my favorite things is when management comes to me and says "we don't like your evaluation of employee A.  We want you to change it"...  NO.  That's my eval, if you don't like it, write an addendum and attach it.  I know you have lots of input, since you probably said "hello" to this employee twice in the last year...

Or, "we need you to do an annual eval on employee B"... OK, they've worked for me for a week.  How 'bout you have the supervisor they worked for the previous 11 1/2 months write their eval?  "They're busy.  Just write it."  Great...

In reply to Rodan :

A stupid process in general, or at least stupidly implemented 95% of the time. 

A previous company I worked for where I was #1 salesman nationally out of 185, my manager rated my performance as average. Huh?

In reply to Don49 :

Doesn't that just inspire you to work harder?...

Pretty sure the transmission in the truck went out last night.

mtn said:

Cotton said:

stanger_missle said:

Oh, I also forgot, its that time of the year when yearly performance reviews are due. Except here, your manager/supervisor doesn't rate you; you rate yourself.

Usually the employee ranks themselves,  then the manager comes behind and comments over the top of that.  At least rate yourself mid to high,  if they disagree they'll bump it down,  but at least you gave yourself a shot.

Rate yourself as perfect. It’s a tool for them to justify not giving you as much of a raise as possible. Make them realize they’d fall apart without you  track every little thing you do, from plunging the toilet to preparing executive decks. 

“Despite the pack of a clear job description and function, I have performed in an exemplary manor that befits such an organization. In addition to the regular responsibilities that I have performed with aplomb, I’ve taken the initiative to do XYZ, ABC, and 123, which has resulted in (quantifiable result of money/time/resources saved, revenue generated, risk mitigated)”

Yeah, that's the way you do it.  Except my wife's new manager comes from a corporate culture that values executive-summary brevity over anything else.

He literally made her trim her self-evaluation down to 5 bullet points out of the 20+ extremely varied tasks - all mission-critical support roles, most of them outside her job description - that she may handle on a week to week basis.

He gave her the green light to hire a new person to help her out.  Then edited the job description down to something so short as to be meaningless, that covers about 20% of the tasks involved and skill set necessary.

I can't wait until she puts in her 2 weeks retirement notice.  I hope she does it the day after her 58th birthday (which hits a magic number for best pension / benefits package) in 2-1/2 years.  Maybe then they'll figure out just how much crap she was handling for them... but probably not.  They won't find anybody who can replace her professionalism and attention to detail... but that probably won't matter.

Dear coworkers:

Break room microwaves are for warming ready-to-eat food, not for defrosting or cooking.  

You know who you are.

You don't realize how often you gently tap your finger on something until you get an infected hang nail. 

Duke said:

mtn said:

Cotton said:

stanger_missle said:

Oh, I also forgot, its that time of the year when yearly performance reviews are due. Except here, your manager/supervisor doesn't rate you; you rate yourself.

Usually the employee ranks themselves,  then the manager comes behind and comments over the top of that.  At least rate yourself mid to high,  if they disagree they'll bump it down,  but at least you gave yourself a shot.

Rate yourself as perfect. It’s a tool for them to justify not giving you as much of a raise as possible. Make them realize they’d fall apart without you  track every little thing you do, from plunging the toilet to preparing executive decks. 

“Despite the pack of a clear job description and function, I have performed in an exemplary manor that befits such an organization. In addition to the regular responsibilities that I have performed with aplomb, I’ve taken the initiative to do XYZ, ABC, and 123, which has resulted in (quantifiable result of money/time/resources saved, revenue generated, risk mitigated)”

Yeah, that's the way you do it.  Except my wife's new manager comes from a corporate culture that values executive-summary brevity over anything else.

He literally made her trim her self-evaluation down to 5 bullet points out of the 20+ extremely varied tasks - all mission-critical support roles, most of them outside her job description - that she may handle on a week to week basis.

He gave her the green light to hire a new person to help her out.  Then edited the job description down to something so short as to be meaningless, that covers about 20% of the tasks involved and skill set necessary.

I can't wait until she puts in her 2 weeks retirement notice.  I hope she does it the day after her 58th birthday (which hits a magic number for best pension / benefits package) in 2-1/2 years.  Maybe then they'll figure out just how much crap she was handling for them... but probably not.  They won't find anybody who can replace her professionalism and attention to detail... but that probably won't matter.

 

I couldn't imagine everyone ranking themselves as perfect.  That would not fly where I work (Fortune 100 company),  you need to be realistic about yourself and your abilities.

Cotton said:

Duke said:

mtn said:

Cotton said:

stanger_missle said:

Oh, I also forgot, its that time of the year when yearly performance reviews are due. Except here, your manager/supervisor doesn't rate you; you rate yourself.

Usually the employee ranks themselves,  then the manager comes behind and comments over the top of that.  At least rate yourself mid to high,  if they disagree they'll bump it down,  but at least you gave yourself a shot.

Rate yourself as perfect. It’s a tool for them to justify not giving you as much of a raise as possible. Make them realize they’d fall apart without you  track every little thing you do, from plunging the toilet to preparing executive decks. 

“Despite the pack of a clear job description and function, I have performed in an exemplary manor that befits such an organization. In addition to the regular responsibilities that I have performed with aplomb, I’ve taken the initiative to do XYZ, ABC, and 123, which has resulted in (quantifiable result of money/time/resources saved, revenue generated, risk mitigated)”

Yeah, that's the way you do it.  Except my wife's new manager comes from a corporate culture that values executive-summary brevity over anything else.

He literally made her trim her self-evaluation down to 5 bullet points out of the 20+ extremely varied tasks - all mission-critical support roles, most of them outside her job description - that she may handle on a week to week basis.

He gave her the green light to hire a new person to help her out.  Then edited the job description down to something so short as to be meaningless, that covers about 20% of the tasks involved and skill set necessary.

I can't wait until she puts in her 2 weeks retirement notice.  I hope she does it the day after her 58th birthday (which hits a magic number for best pension / benefits package) in 2-1/2 years.  Maybe then they'll figure out just how much crap she was handling for them... but probably not.  They won't find anybody who can replace her professionalism and attention to detail... but that probably won't matter.

 

I couldn't imagine everyone ranking themselves as perfect.  That would not fly where I work (Fortune 100 company),  you need to be realistic about yourself and your abilities.

Fortune 100 as well. Or close to it if we're not. No need to not be realistic, but my point is only put in how much you're doing, how great you're doing it, and nothing negative. When they ask you for things to improve on, twist it to how you want to develop yourself rather than improve yourself. Things like that. 

If they disagree, that is their prerogative to fix it. Not yours.

My employer's bathrooms:

TP

Paper Towels

Soap

Pick 2.

Javelin said:

My employer's bathrooms:

TP

Paper Towels

Soap

Pick 2.

Easy. TP and Soap.

mtn said:

Javelin said:

My employer's bathrooms:

TP

Paper Towels

Soap

Pick 2.

Easy. TP and Soap.

Except it's employer's choice...

Don49 said:

A previous company I worked for where I was #1 salesman nationally out of 185, my manager rated my performance as average. Huh?

That's precisely how you convince someone to work just hard enough not to get fired. 

Don49 said:

A previous company I worked for where I was #1 salesman nationally out of 185, my manager rated my performance as average. Huh?

Our sales team doesn't get reviews.  It's all in the numbers.   
 

I had a vendor ask me today if I'll get a big year end bonus this year.  Huh?  
 

We work under the "want more money?" --- "go sell more" and this year I did.  

Looks like I herniated my surgically repaired disc for the 3rd time in 14 months. This will be the another surgery and recovery but it looks like I may have to listen too the doctor and change careers. The problem is all my experience is either mechanical or lifting heavy things. Neither of them are a good fit anymore. 
 

I have probably 5 months between everything to figure out what I'm going to do with life but I have no clue what to do. If I need too I'll work as a cashier at a gas station too support my family but I really can't figure out a job that will keep me happy to go to work at this point!

My left knee is berkeleyed. I walk in constant pain. My left shoulder is berkeleyed. I lift things in constant pain. My septum is berkeleyed. I haven't breathed out of my nose in months. I no longer can smell things.  My ears have been berkeleyed since birth. Its so tiring trying to figure out what people are saying. Everything hurts all the time. Can't go get it fixed because insurance is berkeleyed. Can't afford to take the time off regardless or we'll be berkeleyed. Everything is berkeleyed.

I'm not suicidal, but if I walked out to the parking lot to go home, and a car came barreling at me, I'm not sure if I'd get out of the way.

slantvaliant said:

Dear coworkers:

Break room microwaves are for warming ready-to-eat food, not for defrosting or cooking.  

You know who you are.

But I packed frozen fish filets for lunch..

In reply to Appleseed :

Have you thought about learning ASL? 

My wife is rapidly getting to the point where we need to communicate by sign exclusively. It’s not the “easy” route, but it has given my wife a new outlook on life.

In reply to dropstep :

What kind of mechanical experience?

In reply to Appleseed :

Man, I wish I had advice or even encouragement for you.  It kills me that I don't.