Minor rant thread. Post your rants o' the day here!

CAinCA said:

tuna55 said:

it's been four months

 

Also Kid #2 is 12 and has real, live temper tantrums near daily. He loses his crap and screams for no reason for an hour or more right at bedtime. If I do nothing I get fussed at. If I gently move him to isolate him somewhere, I get fussed at. If I try to talk him down, I get fussed at. I told him that if a 12-year-old me had tried it, there would be a hole in the wall shaped like me. Maybe that's what he needs.

I've known a few people whose children were sensitive to preservatives or food coloring. One of my friend's kids would constantly bounce off the walls and furniture totally out of control. My niece had terrible mood swings. Once those were cut from their diets they chilled the berkeley out. Something to think about.

We've tried everything we could think of, and had many other things tested. We eat very clean, so no food coloring or preservatives or artificial stuff in basically anything we eat regularly. We've tried dairy, gluten, a few other things which I can't remember. Thanks for the thoughts though.

I say this as someone who isn't angry, is not an abuser, doesn't even like watching boxing, and has no interest in violence. I am starting to think that a swift slap might be the ticket. Tunawife disagrees, and his counselor does as well. My Dad would have gone abusive, and obviously that isn't helpful. He is a young man. The mechanism connecting pain to correction is strong in us.

Sorry to hear you're going through this Tuna. I personally would start with asking my child's pediatrician for advice, preferably in the form of a recommendation for a pediatric psychiatrist or counselor. 

EDIT: I see you already are seeing a counselor. Maybe put him in the car before he has his tantrum and take him for a hike, sit down at a lookout or something, and tell him it is time to man up and start to act like the young adult you need him to be - and part of that is telling your parents what is wrong, what has happened, what he needs from you because you're not a mind reader. I'll back out at this point and wish you the best of luck. 

I'm also sorry to hear you're going through that. We're dealing with some stuff with our almost-8-year-old that is seriously trying my patience at times. I think of myself as a nice, calm person but there's little in this world that sets me off like a person screaming at me, especially when it's about something I did at their request. Trust me, I understand the temptation to try to cure it with a slap. But I don't think that's a road to go down, especially with the wife not on board. Corporal punishment can quickly go bad and today can easily lead to a jail sentence.

dculberson said:

I'm also sorry to hear you're going through that. We're dealing with some stuff with our almost-8-year-old that is seriously trying my patience at times. I think of myself as a nice, calm person but there's little in this world that sets me off like a person screaming at me, especially when it's about something I did at their request. Trust me, I understand the temptation to try to cure it with a slap. But I don't think that's a road to go down, especially with the wife not on board. Corporal punishment can quickly go bad and today can easily lead to a jail sentence.

Yup, and you got the right idea as to why I haven't just done it. I also have three other kids who are trapped with the whole mess.

tuna55 said:

Yup, and you got the right idea as to why I haven't just done it. I also have three other kids who are trapped with the whole mess.

Okay, this hit home a little too hard.  Don't want to go into too much detail about my own childhood, but I'd please recommend making sure the other kids know this has nothing to do with them and that any additional attention the problem child needs does not mean you care any less about them.

Edit: and also be careful about appearing to apply rules more strictly to the other kids, too.

Hang in there tuna. 

In reply to tuna55 :

I see you're seeing a counselor for your little...have you had them evaluated for ADHD, ODD and autism? Undiagnosed neurodivergence can lead to so many more issues with day to day life. I say this as an adult who wasn't diagnosed as autistic until I was in my 20's. 

Going away from that, and I know you've tried so many things and I probably don't have anything new, but...

1. Is there a problem at school? Perhaps with a teacher? We went through a teacher issue with my youngest in 2020 that lead to some disastrous things, I'm happy to talk more about them, but I don't want to trauma-dump. 
2. Have you tried keeping a time log of what they're doing after school and leading up to the meltdowns? What time and when are they eating, what activities are they doing and when, etc? It might help at least find a trigger or point where you can intervene earlier. 
3. Are they getting time to wind-down after school before the responsibilities of chores and homework begin? 
4. Are they having nightmares and getting worked up as bedtime gets closer out of fear of going to sleep?

It's so hard to watch your kids go through hard things that you're powerless in. Hang in there. 

Holy berkeley. You can tell when a  construction superintendent takes up a hammer (or Bobcat or stadium rod, or whatever) Telling others what to do is not at all like actually doing it.

If I surveyed the way you just told me to do grade elevations, the excavators would cave my goddam head in. Holy berkeley.

I had to fill out the FAFSA for my son. I already filled it out for my daughter. Why do I have do fill this crap out twice? 

In reply to CAinCA :

Fill it out every year.  My daughter qualifies for next to nothing and we're working on debt free college so we forgot to fill it out last year.  

   I recently stumbled onto a video of Kevin Hart where he self-deprecatingly jokes about getting a 585 on the SAT. I vaguely remember hearing waaay back when I was in high school that we could take the SAT/ACT but it would cost $30 or $35 dollars or some amount of money that now seems like a pittance. I didn't have it at the time and constant survival mode makes it damn near impossible to plan ahead so I didn't get to take it. I'm fairly certain I would have gotten a good score too. I test very well. I took a mechanical aptitude test for my current position and got the third-highest score in the history of the test, which they've been administering for well over a decade. 


   A statement made by Mr. Hart hit me right in the feels: "Go**amn...I just got left behind."


   Seasonal depression/midlife bullE36 M3 has me all berkeleyed up.

tuna55 said:

CAinCA said:

tuna55 said:

it's been four months

 

Also Kid #2 is 12 and has real, live temper tantrums near daily. He loses his crap and screams for no reason for an hour or more right at bedtime. If I do nothing I get fussed at. If I gently move him to isolate him somewhere, I get fussed at. If I try to talk him down, I get fussed at. I told him that if a 12-year-old me had tried it, there would be a hole in the wall shaped like me. Maybe that's what he needs.

I've known a few people whose children were sensitive to preservatives or food coloring. One of my friend's kids would constantly bounce off the walls and furniture totally out of control. My niece had terrible mood swings. Once those were cut from their diets they chilled the berkeley out. Something to think about.

We've tried everything we could think of, and had many other things tested. We eat very clean, so no food coloring or preservatives or artificial stuff in basically anything we eat regularly. We've tried dairy, gluten, a few other things which I can't remember. Thanks for the thoughts though.

just as a followup, one of my kids (just one, the others are fine) has a horrible reaction to food coloring.  The synthetics are the absolute worst but even annato is bad. 
 

Even the slightest exposure to it elicits a large reaction.  it's so bad that even toothpaste or deodorant causes a huge reaction that can last the whole day. 

luckily she is responsible enough (usually) and aware enough that she avoids it on her own.  But sometimes she will make a bad choice or just miss it and we can all tell. 
 

for years, if someone had said they wanted a child I would have given her away before they had finished their sentence.  But once we figured it out, it is like we have a new kid. 
 

It might not be it, but I'd highly recommend that you diligently cut out dye for a week from everything and see if there is any change. 
 

if I hadn't actually seen the effects I would never have believed it myself. 

I'm pretty sure my wife is intentionally pushing my buttons this morning. She really seems to be gearing up for a fight, and I have no idea why and no desire to participate in it. 

Let an employee go today who I've worked with for years. 

mtn said:

I'm pretty sure my wife is intentionally pushing my buttons this morning. She really seems to be gearing up for a fight, and I have no idea why and no desire to participate in it. 

RozCougarMorbidcamp said:

In reply to tuna55 :

I see you're seeing a counselor for your little...have you had them evaluated for ADHD, ODD and autism? Undiagnosed neurodivergence can lead to so many more issues with day to day life. I say this as an adult who wasn't diagnosed as autistic until I was in my 20's. 

Going away from that, and I know you've tried so many things and I probably don't have anything new, but...

1. Is there a problem at school? Perhaps with a teacher? We went through a teacher issue with my youngest in 2020 that lead to some disastrous things, I'm happy to talk more about them, but I don't want to trauma-dump. 
2. Have you tried keeping a time log of what they're doing after school and leading up to the meltdowns? What time and when are they eating, what activities are they doing and when, etc? It might help at least find a trigger or point where you can intervene earlier. 
3. Are they getting time to wind-down after school before the responsibilities of chores and homework begin? 
4. Are they having nightmares and getting worked up as bedtime gets closer out of fear of going to sleep?

It's so hard to watch your kids go through hard things that you're powerless in. Hang in there. 

Home schooled, ao that kills a number of things on your list. It's 80% at night at bedtime, and I know it's the day catching up. He doesn't want to be alone with his thoughts. He also literally doesn't understand the negative feedback mechanism and also the negative influence he has on others. It's like the cause and effect loop never worked on that part of his brain.

No nightmares, no bad dreams, no night terrors, nothing legit.

In reply to jfryjfry :

I am saying it's near zero. Other than the recently depleted Halloween Candy it's all zero colors zero dyes zero preservative stuff. Even our laundry soap.

In reply to tuna55 :

I hope you find an answer. I have only one thing to offer, a friend of mine that had significant ADHD found that running really helped. He needed to burn off the excessive energy. 

Youtube changed their screen format from this:

To this:

I had a workaround.  If I just kept viewing new videos in the old tab, I could still have the old format without the jarring font changes, jarring buttons, half the information obscured so you need to click on things to see when they were uploaded, and no rounded corners on the thumbnails.

Well, Firefox updated itself against my will and now all my YouTube tabs had to reload and now everything is crap.

In reply to Pete. (l33t FS) :

I had to find and watch that video. I actually found it kind of interesting.


My rant: People who say "upped" when they mean "increased". Ugh. Just...ugh.

There is a Rampage for sale very close to me. I want it.

I have the money for it easily.......Buuuuuuuut I don't want to spend the money, I got vacations and stuff to pay for

Very minor, but still annoying , adulting sucks

I just don't understand why people advertise stuff for sale and then won't respond to inquiries.

Moved the Beetle into the garage for the winter today.  It is having fueling issues again, don't know if it is the carb or the fuel pump.  I had to use starter fluid and dump fuel into the carb to get it to move a few feet up my driveway, stall, and repeat until it was parked.  Fortunately, I think it chugged long enough in the garage that it was running on gas when it died instead of starter fluid.  I'll deal with it in the spring.

Went to one of my storage lots to meet a buyer for one of my vehicles. 

Doesn't anyone understand how to double-lock a gate anymore??

Thank heavens I just happened to have a horrible little bolt cutter in the van today. 

I'm getting too old for this garbage. 

For the last week or so, it's been down solidly in the temperature range of winter here (and I believe a good bit of the country for that matter), so I'm once again dealing with the fact that my hands and feet are pretty much always cold. This is especially a problem at my desk while working, because despite my office being on the top floor of our house, this floor (like most of the rest of the house it seems) is not very well insulated and the HVAC system never works the best for the rooms up here (this house really should have a 2-zone system, with having 4 floors that range from mostly underground to a 2nd story up). I run a space heater that keeps the room as a whole comfortable, but no matter where I am for the most part my toes & fingers are always cold. As near as I can guess, I'm just one of those people whose bodies just work such that my fingers and toes get and stay colder than most.

I've tried wearing fingerless gloves while working, but they just don't seem to help much. I picked up a heater desk mat that has been working reasonably well, though at times it's tricky keeping it from being too warm. You'd think that my feet would be easier- just wear heavier socks/warmer slippers- but they're not. I can be wearing wool socks and warm slippers and my toes will still be cold. Planning on picking up a heated footpad to put under the desk to see if that will do the trick, but I really wish I could find a way to keep them warm everywhere and not just at my desk.