My hatred for the general public grows more every day.

I have decided that on my days off, between 12:00 and 1:00, I'm going to walk into random businesses and bother people why they are on their lunch break when they are right about to eat their food.

Then, I'm going to ask them stupid questions that could easily be answered if I could have taken the time to look it up on the internet or pick up the phone and call the company.

After that, I'm going to ask if they are hiring, because my son/nephew/uncle/BFF/bastard child/grandma is looking for a job and they would be good at doing that.

When that's all over, I will ask one of the first questions over again, like I didn't even ask it.

My point is, I'm really tired of people walking up to my van while I'm clearly eating lunch and wasting 5-10 minutes of my lunch break.

Just because I'm not in an office, doesn't mean I'm not in my office.

That's one reason we usually leave the office for lunch.

I feel your pain. You need one of these to hang on your van window, along with some business cards that they can take instead of talking to you right then.

I have this little mantra I repeat over and over in my head... I think it might help you:

Push me again
This is the end
Here we go!
Here we go!
Here we go!
One - Nothing wrong with me
Two - Nothing wrong with me
Three - Nothing wrong with me
Four - Nothing wrong with me
One - Something's got to give
Two - Something's got to give
Three - Something's got to give
Now
Let the bodies hit the floor
Let the bodies hit the floor
Let the bodies hit the flooooor
Let the bodies hit the floor
Let the bodies hit the floor
Let the bodies hit the floor

mmmmmmm........ i love me some drowning pool.....

i think im gonna go listen to that on repeat for the last part of my work day.

In reply to Giant Purple Snorklewacker:

I believe you mean this?: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=04F4xlWSFh0

In reply to EastCoastMojo:

I was thinking about one of these:

Ian F wrote: That's one reason we usually leave the office for lunch.

Then you just get phone calls. I've quit answering my phone between 12:00 and 1:00.

In reply to Bobzilla:

berkeley yeah! I meditate to that.

Bobzilla wrote: In reply to Giant Purple Snorklewacker: I believe you mean this?: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=04F4xlWSFh0

I was thinking more in terms of THIS: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uguXNL93fWg

In reply to Bobzilla: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uguXNL93fWg

EDIT: Doh...beaten to it!

Brandishing a gun in one hand while eating a sandwich in the other is a quick way to tell someone to "Berk Off."

In reply to SyntheticBlinkerFluid:

Due to your obvious helpful nature, I am forced to make you do the Comcast Customer Service training again.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_v6AY7VD1Zs

Once finished watching this Customer Service Training plan, you will be quized. We're Comcast, berkeley you

That was NOT family safe.

Just warning others.

You all must not be self employed. You get a lunch?

Make sure you go to the Post Office at lunch time also. You've got all frikkin DAY, I work! NO, I don't want to see your grandkids and don't care if you served in Korea!

Bobzilla wrote: In reply to Giant Purple Snorklewacker: I believe you mean this?: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=04F4xlWSFh0

I hate head banging music. Those guys are actually pretty good. Good enough I even downloaded one of their albums.

I have to fight the urge to do this any time I'm trying to take a lunch break.

http://youtu.be/M_d8vLQKC1k

In reply to Dusterbd13: My bad, I only class nudity as NSFW

the public gets annoying? get into sales.....you'll have a field day.

Just make it look like you're robbing the van. Then they won't think you work there!

Strange I get a lot of requests for jumper cables when I am sitting in my truck at lunch usually in some store parking lot. Almost always old ladies with corroded all to heck battery cables and sweet demeanors. It probably has a lot to do with me driving a service truck with state owned plates.

You could always make your van look a little more like this:

Prop a camera in the window. Eat in peace for the rest of your life.

Or this:

Or the also nice rape van:

SyntheticBlinkerFluid wrote: In reply to EastCoastMojo: I was thinking about one of these:

I have one of those in my office that I made into an actual clock. I set it 5 minutes fast so when people pop in and see it, they wait..and wait.. forever.