My Olympic observations...

1. Not sure if I like the aggregate scoring in the downhill sports or would favor a more autocross-style "best of X number of runs counts toward medals. Either way, I feel like hell for the kids who got snagged at the wrong time for a rerun. or launched just as the snow kicked up, or didn't kick up enough, or froze suddenly. The times of the top folks were all amazingly consistent, but you could still see a clear trend toward folks skiing in better conditions having better times. No way around it, I guess. Just a bummer.

2. Speed Skating: Long track—meh. Short Track: HELLS BALLS YES, SON! Every mov you've ever pulled on a racetrack you see there in human form on skates. The wide corner entry to gain additional exit speed to make an acceleration pas? It's there Blowing past the braking and turn-in point on the inside to keep the guy outside you from turning in until his arc sucks? It's there. Feinting a move for three laps the same way, then when your opponent bites the fourth time going th other way for an easy pass. Or the same guy feinting the same move on a different guy (who obviously knew he was being played) three times. On the fourth feint, where the overtaker would have normally faked then gone back the other way, the defender made a little fake then went to where he "thought" the attacker would be. Got a great view of him skating by, knowing that he'd been played before he even hit the ice.

But the officials need to let the guys and gals race a little. And racing is rubbing. Sure it can't graduate into full fledged skate-bound combat (but, really, why not?), but a lot of the DQ decisions I saw were for "racing" incidents. Whatever.

Biathalon: Skis? check. Rifle? check. Boner? Oh you betcha check. Come on. Guys on skis with competition .22s? And you say that after they ski like a kilometer they have to quickly lay down in the snow and shoot at targets the size of a golf ball 50 meters away? And for each one they miss they have to ski an extra lap of the 150 meter or so "penalty course." It's like mini golf, but with skis and rifles.

My only wish is that they combine a down hill and shooting spot every year and cal it bialathon. Who wouldn't want to see a guy hop off of a Skeleton with a crossbow? Or a guy go through a scenario house, taking out bad guys with two shoulder holstered pistols (one named after his ex wife, one named after his best math teacher, the one that taught him that there was more to life than being the world's best ski cop)... anyway, they sweep the house and dispatch the hostiles, then bust through the back doo and snowboard down to their cars.

Or just two guys on a snowmobile with shotguns blasting hell out of everything in their blurred line of sight.

Bobsled: Pretty friggin cool. Think we like 2 man the best. Tell ya what, though, Olympics... You figure out how to get another sled or two on that track at the same time and then, then, then my friends you will have a race to make the Gods weep. Just change the name of every curve to "The Widowmaker" and maybe give them numbers or adjectives to make them feel better.

Hockey: I watch very little Pro Hockey. Olumpic hockey, however, is awesome. Especially the ladies.The mixture of sportsmanship, determination and talent on display is stunning. I love that the US Mens team is becoming the equivalent of a Wrestling heel. Crowds are now booing them and giving them a hard time, but thanking them for having someone who's so much fun to rail against. It's a cool dynamic.

Plus, women's curling is just chock-a-block with MILFy types. "Hey baby... you want to come over and check out my minivan? Got an entertainment system and parking assist. Of course, you wouldn't need any assistance parking it on my mustache.. aww yeah!"

jg

Earlier this year, I went to see an NHL game. At the game, we found out that Team Canada and Team USA women's hockey teams were playing the next night at the university. Lemme tell you, that game blew the NHL one away. Better skills, better teamwork and a whole lot more heart. We knew we'd seen the Olympic gold medal match 3 months early. It was awesome. I'm still gonna be rooting for Canada for men's hockey, but the girls were the ones I really wanted to see win. Nice job ladies!

My vote is for more "cross" sports. I want to see freestyle aerial cross. Inverted flips and twists side by side? There would be beheadings! Multiple pairs on the ice would make me watch figure skating too. Take-outs would be judged on technique, degree of difficulty and artistic merit.

I'd also like to see a mass start of all running events for the summer olympics. Marathoners, sprinters, relays - whatever. If you're in the lead after winning the 100m and you think you can hold on for 200, keep running. First one across the line wins. Heck, maybe a marathoner wants a shot at a 400 medal on the way to winning the long race. And watching the relay runners trying to find their teammates in that crowd would be great. My suggestion there is for crazy hats.

For logistical purposes, we might want to let the hurdlers have their own start.

You know, JG, you have a knack for this writing thing. Has anyone ever told you that you should try to pursue it professionally?

Snowboard-cross and ski-cross are my two favourite Olympic sports to watch. I understand Red Bull sponsors skate-cross, too (think full hockey gear, and checking is allowed) -- that would be cool to watch. Both types of speed-skating appeal to me -- but short-track is crazy exciting.

I wish the women in hockey were allowed to check -- that might help bring some parity to the tournament.

I don't like events where I have to wait for a judge to tell me who won, even i f they do take enormous skill (and I know that they review short-track speed skating, but it's just so darn exciting).

Zoo said: I wish the women in hockey were allowed to check -- that might help bring some parity to the tournament

I'd like to see that too, but if you think it's lopsided now, just let the Canadian womens teams start hitting.

I've always wanted to speed skate. Growing up I was always the fastest skater on my team, and it just looks like fun, even the long track.

The sport that strikes me as the most ridiculous is the two man luge....it reminds of the the ambiguously gay due. Why stop at two dudes in spandex spooning? I want to see luge where the number of slippery dudes stacked on top of each other is unlimited...the more dudes you stack up the better your score multiplier...sorta like PAX.

If you can stack up four dudes and make it down the hill intact, my hats off to you ambiguously gay lugers!

zomby woof wrote:

Zoo said: I wish the women in hockey were allowed to check -- that might help bring some parity to the tournament

I'd like to see that too, but if you think it's lopsided now, just let the Canadian womens teams start hitting.

I guess there's a big hubbub about the Canadian Women's team partying and pounding champagne and beer and smoking cigars on the ice after their win (and after the crowd had left the building).

There is a real serious issue here, and one I think the Canadian authorities should be dilligent about investigating and mete out appropriate disciplinary action.

jg

It's worse than that.

It's light beer (actually brewed in Canada).

I liked the Captain's response to the IOC hubbub.

She said 'settle down, it's not like we did anything wrong'.

I wish more people/celebs did that instead of apologizing everytime some nut has a problem with something they've said or done.

zomby woof wrote: I'd like to see that too, but if you think it's lopsided now, just let the Canadian womens teams start hitting.

The US and Canadian women's teams are pretty well matched. Their recent record (unlike the men, they stay as a team for a fairly long period so they've actually played a number of games against each other) doesn't accurately show the skill matchup. Their meeting on New Years Day in Ottawa ended in a shootout, if memory serves. And the lack of checking makes for a cleaner game in my opinion.

I think the "skate cross" is the Red Bull Crashed Ice tournament. It's nuttier than you think - it's downhill skate racing. The fact that the guys are in hockey jerseys makes it so much better than if they were in aerodynamic tights - they just look like a bunch of buddies who decided this would be a good idea, right before jumping their snowmobiles into a lake and right after polishing off a two-four of cinquante.

Crashed Ice

To comment on the hockey:
The mens... Its the best hockey in the world. Period. I love it, can't get enough of it. I just wish that they were playing on an Olympic rink (why the hell aren't they?). Also, I wish it were back to the amateur. I can see nearly every single one of these guys play. Granted, its not together, but meh. I want amateur hockey in the Olympics.

On the womens: Boring. Really, unless its US vs. Canada, its like watching shooting practice. Although the US vs. Canada was some excellent hockey. I like the no-check rule, it lets smaller, more talented players actually have a chance. I've reffed a boys vs girls game where on paper, and in skill, the girls were far better than the boys. However, they wanted to play with checking. Fine. The girls were clearly outgunned, and didn't have the strength to check well.
For example: This girl would never be on the team if they allowed checking.

On the checking in general: The lack of it is part of the reason the mens Olympic hockey is so much fun. These are all-star teams that are made up of skill and finesse type players. Obviously there are exceptions (Zdeno Chara) but for the most part these are not bruiser type players.

On the womens celebration: Who the hell gives a flying berkeley? And why the hell would anyone drink coors lite?

alpine skiing still pwns, in every form. downhill, slalom, super G, (especially) giant slalom, men's, women's...all of it.

i spent the morning watching the curling bronze medal match...much more interesting and fun to watch than i expected.

I haven't watched the Olympics since the 76 or 80 Games, I think...

Can't Check?

5'-0", 130 lbs. For a lean woman that's a stout little frame. I guessing she would hold her own.

Crashed Ice

Awesome stuff here. Needs to at least be in the X-games.

MrJoshua wrote: Can't Check? 5'-0", 130 lbs. For a lean woman that's a stout little frame. I guessing she would hold her own.

She's a lot of fun to watch on the ice. Super fast and will just not let the puck get away.

I don't think I could disagree with you guys more.

Hitting is a big part of the game, and it's made a big difference in the outcome of some of the mens games. I look at it as a skill, as important as skating, and shooting. That's how it's taught to us.

zomby woof wrote: I don't think I could disagree with you guys more. Hitting is a big part of the game, and it's made a big difference in the outcome of some of the mens games. I look at it as a skill, as important as skating, and shooting. That's how it's taught to us.

I'm with you, Zomby. My wife (who coaches varsity rugby at local university, and is, I'm proud to say, the head coach of Canada's U18 women's team) has many women of all body types who are good at contact. Rugby, as you may know, is a full contact sport. It's all in how the hitting is taught. My son, small for his age, knows all about going into contact. It's really helped his basketball game, too.

And to be clear, I am advocating checking and hitting. Not BS fistfights. In my opinion, a fist fight should be like a technical foul in basketball. Engage in fisticuffs, and not only are there penalites, but also a penalty shot (or two, in consensual fights).

I don't mind a fight if it's real,It's the two tough guys squaring off because that's their job, that I don't like.

Well, I'm disappointed, but that was one of the best hockey games I have ever seen. Wow. What a great game, by both teams. And I have to have a big smile on my face: The Blackhawks in that game were stellar.

That's the most exciting men's hockey game I've ever watched. Well done to both, and congrats especially to the US for a super effort.

Fortunately we won't be needing that National Day of Mourning that looked likely at the end of the third period.

Rob

ZOO wrote: Fortunately we won't be needing that National Day of Mourning that looked likely at the end of the third period.

I was going crazy on that goal at the end there. Pulling the goalie almost never works.

Whew. Now that was one seriously excellent hockey game.

JG Pasterjak wrote: Plus, women's curling is just chock-a-block with MILFy types. "Hey baby... you want to come over and check out my minivan? Got an entertainment system and parking assist. Of course, you wouldn't need any assistance parking it on my mustache.. aww yeah!" jg

Thank you.

mtn wrote: Well, I'm disappointed, but that was one of the best hockey games I have ever seen. Wow. What a great game, by both teams. And I have to have a big smile on my face: The Blackhawks in that game were stellar.

Word. If Slovakia would have won, every Blackhawk in the Olympics would have gotten a medal.

I didn't really think it was a great game. Practically no hitting, not many scoring chances, and hardly any really nice passing plays, as a lot of the shots were from the periphery.

It looked to me like Canada played not to lose.

I'm watching it again to see if I was wrong.