My turn for a self-help thread?

Though probably not at all what you're expecting... The TLDR version is old habits die hard & I've been fighting an ongoing struggle to overcome them.

So, I'm a klutz & always have been(though that's not directly what this is about), I can't dance _at_all_(which may surprise those of you who know I'm a musician, but again isn't directly the problem). I'm also adhd, which may be partially related to the problem. 

The problem its self is directly related to playing music, but I think it's a combination of neuromuscular & psychological issues. To make a mechanical comparison, I feel like my muscles function more like solenoids than linear actuators. Does that make sense?

The concept of "smooth" has never been anything that crossed my mind at all, with 2 exceptions: autocross & billiards - and for some reason, once someone explained the concept of smoothness to me in each situation, it just kinda stuck(unfortunately I get bored with billiards after a couple games).

What I've realized over the last couple years is that lack of smoothness has caused me to go through repeated cycles of practicing music a lot/getting frustrated about not being able to overcome my problems/quitting playing for months(or years)/rinse & repeat.

I do think part of the problem is related to my adhd, because in band/ensemble situations when I'm diverting some attention to everyone else, my playing is less inconsistent. Although I'm often playing less complex/challenging parts then too. The net result though is it's always a struggle to play through any piece of music correctly & consistently.

I've dabbled with yoga & meditation over the years, but found yoga to be a combination of boring & painful, and it's truly a painful struggle to shut off my brain for even 5-seconds of meditation. 

I'm basically always talking to myself, and I've realized that's often to my own detriment in autox. Though rarely when I've had "silent" runs, they've often been my best ones of the day.

I am on adhd meds, though I only take them on workdays. It helps me focus & be more productive at work, but I've tried taking it on weekends before gigs & it had no impact at all. Fwiw I'm not a smoker(of any kind) and not against it - as a musician I've certainly spent plenty of time in a cloudy haze of cigarette and/or pot smoke, but even then it never changed my playing noticeably. 

So ultimately, I feel in order to move past this barrier I think I need to completely reprogram my body mechanics. I've tried tearing down my playing & starting from scratch with the basic rudiments, but my(admittedly somewhat odd & unique) playing style just returns on its own because it's an internal part of myself. Unfortunately I've not figured out a way to reprogram mysel successfully yet.

Maybe something other than yoga, Tai chi?

Could also try something else that requires a smooth discipline (painting?)

Maybe think of your music when you are doing these things and try to program your brain to associate music with smooth movements

The fact that it seems better when you aren't paying attention to it could actually mean that you are playing smoothly but when you over think it you are kinda getting in your own way.

When I play fast I have to be loose. Most the time if I really pay attention to it I tense up. This makes me play slower. I have recordings of me playing about 35 percent faster than I've ever played and most the time I was sort of distracted. Sounds ridiculous but a lot of the time im building various projects in my head when I'm playing that fast.

Also having a unique style isn't bad at all. No one says they love a musician just because anybody could be playing and they couldn't tell the difference. Having your own style is great thing

What instrument and what kind of music do you play? Do you think it's your brain getting in the way (having to think about what to play rather then muscle memory)? Do you get worked up before playing, practicing, gigging? Stage fright/anxiety or more of an all the time condition?

How about a form of music that is out of your norm?

For example... Jazz.  There is a huge improvisational aspect to it, and it would be easy to consider it "laid back" and "smooth". 
 

You don't have to like that form of music, but maybe trying something different will enable you to consider THAT kind of music "therapy", and you could learn a few tricks that you could apply to the music you enjoy more often.

Just a thought... it's worth what you paid for it. 

Change the tempo drastically?  Faster or slower?  Change the key signature?

Turn the music upside and try playing it. It will be a completely different animal, and you will have to process it differently. 

In reply to Mr_Asa :

That's interesting you mentioned painting. My father was a professional artist. I took every art class throughout school & it was just kinda assumed that I'd be one too & eventually take over the family business. However, my growing interest in music(I started playing when I was 16) and realization that outside of class assignments I didn't have any real desire or motivation to do art, meant that I never pursued it after school & pretty much lost whatever skills I had. 

However, my handwriting has always been atrocious. Like, I generally can't read it, it's so bad. My father would always tell me to "draw" my letters, like I was drawing a picture, but because I had zero interest or care, I never did.

I'm only vaguely familiar with Tai Chi. I've always had a passing interest in martial arts, but have never taken any classes. As a kid I had a friend who took karate classes & I remember looking over his lessons and thinking how boring it all looked. Sure, I get the reason behind it, but that just had zero interest to me. I've realized what I'd like to do - if I had the time/money & my body wasn't so broken - would be something like Russian Systema, where it's more about practical application of self-defense & hand-to-hand combat techniques. I searched a year or two ago, but couldn't find anything near our area like that.

There are a lot of books out there about Tao and guitar or Tao and music. I have a few on my shelf. 

In reply to Antihero (Forum Supporter) :

I'm definitely a master at overthinking everything! I have no regrets over having my own style, it's something I've actively worked hard on for years. I just can't nail my playing with any level of repeatable consistency/proficiency. 

Paul_VR6 (Forum Supporter) said:

What instrument and what kind of music do you play? Do you think it's your brain getting in the way (having to think about what to play rather then muscle memory)? Do you get worked up before playing, practicing, gigging? Stage fright/anxiety or more of an all the time condition?

I play 6-string bass & mostly prog-rock/metal/fusion type stuff. Generally all original material. I literally can't play blues because the songs are so similar that I get lost & forget where the bridge goes for one song vs. the next, or other details like that.

My brain definitely gets in my way sometimes, but there's definitely an unconscious/muscle-memory issue with the mechanics of my playing too.

Stage fright is something that's been an intermittent issue with me. There's been about an equal mix of gigs where I've absolutely loathed going on stage vs. those where I can't wait to be in front of the crowd. In general that's mostly been an internal/emotional thing vs. being influenced by the venue/crowd or any other external factor.

A little out of the box, but I know a guy that went to boxing classes specifically geared toward Parkinson's sufferers. It's apparently very good for maintaining the mind-body link and slowing the progression of that disease. The reduction in his shaking was noticeable.

In reply to Pete Gossett (Forum Supporter) :

Saying " don't over think it" basically makes people over think it so instead of that, try over thinking about something that isn't music when playing music. Build the RV in your head you are thinking of.

I've also put on music, in this case Electric Wizard's Mountains of Mars, randomly detuned my guitar, turned off the lights and tried to play to it. It's helped me with mental blocks before because it's basically impossible to do the same each time and impossible to do perfectly

I would seriously consider Tai Chi. I have been training in it off and on for years. It helps you relax and focus and it works well for older people. It improves my autocrossing and sax playing. I go to a dojo that primarily teaches Kung Fu but you can often find cheap Tai Chi classes at YMCAs and Community Centers and even at the dojos the first class is always free. 

Do you know how to type?  Ever take lessons? 

You  hunt and peck, eventually it gets smoother; then there's that one day when you stop thinking "letters" and think "words".  Your fingers hear the word in your head and then fly, eventually you may think entire sentences while your fingers fly while you also carry on a conversation.

I type, still at the "word" stage.

I am/was a musician, never got much past the hunt and peck, possibly into the "word" phase.  My brother plays guitar, has for 50 years, love to hear him on the 12 string.  He says you can stumble around for a long time and never get better, he took a lesson or two.  A pro taught him to look at the music differently (please don't ask me) which helped him to the next level.  So I guess my only suggestion might be to take a lesson or two from someone better at it. 

Good luck, Dan

In reply to SVreX (Forum Supporter) :

I find most jazz insufferable. The songs themselves are often just the same few chords over & over again(and thus boring from my standpoint). I'm generally not much of a fan of improv solos either. I understand their point about trying to capture the mood of the moment, but to me if you compose a good piece of music, changing what you wrote doesn't improve the piece. 

I love odd time meters & tempo changes. Sometimes I swear my heart beats in 7/8(I should probably ask my doc about that..). There's definitely a tempo range of around 90-120bpm that's my comfort range, although I've become cognizant that historically I've used speed to try & conceal the flaws in my playing mentioned above.

I've been spending more time recently trying to play at as slow as tempos as I can, and it certainly does allow me to move my fingers more smoothly, but I also find myself losing focus after a few minutes. I've tried gradually speeding up the tempo to compensate, but there's always a point where I just slip back into bad habits.

In reply to Snowdoggie (Forum Supporter) :

That's awesome, I'll look into it & even if there's nothing nearby I'll see what I can find online!

In reply to 914Driver :

I never took a typing class - our high school teacher was missing a finger & rather mean... Fortunately, even though I'm on a computer all day, I don't really spend much time typing, because I'm really really bad at it. And yes, I have the same exact problem with my rather spastic muscle movement when typing, as I do when playing.

I actually have my first lesson(in about 25-years) on Skype with a local jazz guitarist tonight. I've not dumped any of this on him yet though. I figure I'll see what he wants to teach me & go from there.

Sounds like me. When I try make myself focus, buckle down, and “do better,” I inevitably end up overdoing it. That’s when I lose any sense of the smoothness required to improve.

Doesn’t matter what it is: music, welding, driving, etc.

I find my playing at its best when I'm on the verge of falling asleep. Just about to let go. I've known several guys who couldn't play worth anything unless they were over the limit, so to speak. I'm not much good at meditation, but the few martial arts classes I took (krav-maga/ kickboxing) the instructors were adamant that part of daily practice was 10-15 minutes of "finding center" or meditating. I've never made the connection before but now I think on it that time was when my playing was at its peak. 
On the opposite end, or maybe the same end from the opposite direction, one thing I did connect was that when I was actively doing strength training 3-4 times a week my playing got way more controlled and faster. Of note, I cannot stand to lift with headphones in. Covid makes gyms tricky, but I'd consider looking into it. Sorry for rambling. 

Do some research on Dyspraxia. The treatment is physical/occupational therapy and some lifestyle adjustments (typing is usually better for you than handwriting, etc.) Plenty of people have been diagnosed with it and gone on to lead successful lives, so at least you'll know what to google when looking for ideas.

Have you tried indie/new age/singer-songwriter stuff?  I'm talking like Bon Iver, Sera Cahoone, Fleet Foxes, Darlingside, The Low Anthem, Damien Rice, Gregory Hoskins, Gregory Allan Isakoff kinda stuff.  I'm not sure it's music you'll appreciate, but it often combines the more predictable musical structure, limited improv, but a ton of smooth.

I'm a musician myself... primarily a vocalist, but I have the opposite problem.  I'm smooth by nature, so instruments don't come easily to me.  I can dance and improv, but when it comes to guitar I kinda suck.  It takes a lot of practice for me to make my right hand do something different from my left.  I feel like my body is "integrated," so in a spiritual/zen sense, it feels connected and aware, but when it comes to physical expressions it sometimes means I can't separate muscle groups as easily as I want.

An example:  Since quitting smoking, I vape.  You get this sense of how long to hold the button to get the right amount of vape, just like knowing when to shift a transmission based on the situation.  Doing both at the same time?  Sometimes I'll be dragging on the vape and waiting to shift until I'm done because I can't separate the right hand from the left hand.  Same goes for things like pressing the window button.  If I'm dragging on the douche flute at the same time, I will often stop the window when I stop the vape, even though the two functions are totally independent.

I'll be following this for interest.  Seems like an awesome exploration.

In reply to pabrz :

That's intriguing. Some of the symptoms fit me to a T: poor hand-eye coordination, bad posture, drooling. But others not at all - I used to ride freestyle bmx/observed trials/mtb so my balance used to be really good. Age & injuries keep me from riding much now though. I was always a quick learner too, but that's somewhat changed with age as I just don't retain things like I used to.

In reply to Curtis73 (Forum Supporter) :

When learning drum kit there’s specific kick/hat/snare exercises you can do that teach that separation between right and left hands and legs.

When I was learning drums it was super awkward and frustrating until something clicked and it just started to work.

In reply to Curtis73 (Forum Supporter) :

I'll be honest Curtis, it's not something I'm proud of but I've definitely become a music snob. Not in an "all new music sucks" kinda way at all, but it generally has to be something rather jolting to capture my attention. Hell, I very rarely listen to music - maybe I'll put something on once every 4-6 months while I'm at work, but generally listening to music just annoys me.

The left/right coordination thing is interesting though. There's definitely times where I just "forget" how to do something that would normally be subconscious & have to stop & think my way through it step-by-step. Applying that to music, before I severed my wrist in 2000 the left/right coordination came much more naturally. But there's a song I wrote a couple years ago that I have over 1500-hours of practice into trying to play it smoothly & consistently. Granted, that one was really pushing my techniques into new realms though. 

In reply to BlueInGreen - Jon (Forum Supporter) :

I played snare drum for a while in 4th grade. I remember learning "Mary had a little lamb", but I also remember quitting the band before the year was up - I'm not sure if I grew tired of it, or if my parents did!

I owned a drum kit(kinda technically still do, but it's 850-miles away), but I have no rhythm in my feet _at_all_. Although that brings up something possibly related that I've always struggled with the concept of: most drummers I know aren't overly concerned with getting their kit setup in a very precise orientation. They seem able to adapt to a drum or cymbal being an inch or so different than it was before - not to mention the fact they're striking cymbals that move, while still somehow keeping time!

Yet I feel that the vibrations of my strings are sometimes enough to throw me off time.