On Tonight's Episode of Trolling the Scammers...

The husband and I are looking to relocate our family to a small town about 35 miles away and, last night saw a listing for a rental that would suit us well until we found our 'forever home' (anxious to move due to bullying issues in our kids' current school).

Here's the response to my inquiry:

Thanks for the interest in my House, my house is still available for rent and is located at (address removed). quite and safe. I only need someone that can take good care of the house in my absence because right now am not around i just secured a contract in ( Atlanta, GA ) here in United States, Am here with the house keys and documents, I tried to look for management before i left but i couldn't get anyone on time but the one i got we had a deal and later my wife advised me against it, I reason with her and accept her advise. so i contacted the agent back and let her understand that i am no longer interested in her handling the property anymore then we decided to have the house for rent out by ourselves. We would have given the agent this job, but the truth of the matter is that agent would want to handle it professionally and the occupant might not be able to reason with her. If you notice, you will discover that the price we are offering is below the standard price this is enough for you to know that we are not after the rental fee but the absolute perfect care of the house. So if you have a good reference you can email me back to secure and occupy my house in my absence.

NB: You can go to check the neighborhood and get back to me for further discussion, any sign post will be remove once i get any responsible tenant so you ignore the sign post because i have stopped dealing and contacting the Realtor for too much fees i paid and the realtor was trying to rip me off. It is available for a long term lease as we would be here for probably 2years or more and we are also intending to buy a new house here in ( Atlanta, GA ). (Security deposit required) which is $500. I would need your References, Pets Acceptable. The rent fee is $600 per month including the utilities, Get back to me as soon as possible because i need a tenant urgently and i can also forward the application form to you if you are interested.

General house description: Beautiful 3 Bd. 2 Ba. Quiet Cul-di-sac.Main Level: Spacious Family Room. Dining Room with Built-in Hutch. Open Kitchen with Lots of Cabinet Space. 1 Full Bath. Oversize Master Bedroom with Large Walk-in Closet. Basement.

Here is my number Call me Any-Time if am not reachable leave a voice message i will get back to you .. (number removed)

Best Regards

(name removed)

Off to google and realtor.com I go...The house is still for sale and the phone number gets several results as a known scam, all with the same story

Instead of just telling them to GFY, I decided trolling was in order:

Unfortunately, my uncle, who happens to be a Nigerian Prince, is unreachable due to unrest in his area and is unable to wire me the money to secure the deposit for the home in the Lewistown. Please direct with your money order information and I will have send it to you when the unrest is over. He will wire you more than is required to cover your time collecting it and meeting me with. You will need to wire him back a portion of the remains.

Priestess Roz of the Southern Isles

Nice.

Sad thing is that this is a successful scam all over the country. I have seen these ads locally (So Fla)

In reply to cwh:

Yeah, when I checked the phone number, there were a lot of 'I sent them my money and they never sent the keys' stories

They had a story about something like this on 60 min or something recently.

In those cases they were actually renting out someone else's house (break in to get access, change locks etc). I don't remember if squatting rights were involved, but it's bad news for the owners either way.

Altman school?

In reply to mtn:

CB Smith

Oh. Don't know anyone that teaches there. In any case, the folks I know who teach in Pekin aren't very happy with the administration there, IIRC.

In reply to mtn:

The assistant superintendent is useless, and that's the general impression I get from most in the central office. I had to take the bullying problem to the school board last year, still nothing got done other than an 'imaginary line' that neither party could cross on the playground.

Clearly I have too much time on my hands...

Thanks for the mail..but you will need to fill out the application form first so that e can go from there...

FILL OUT THE APPLICATION FORM BELOW.

Full Name: Chief Priestess Rozanna Smith of the South Southern Isles

(First) (Middle) (Last)

Your House Address: 185 Mockingbird Ln, Mockingville NC 78412

Kids: yes(YES/NO), How Many 86

When Do You Intend Moving In tomorrow

Do You Have Pets And Kind Of Pets yes, 2 large, semi-exotic cats

Telephone: 555-551-5515 Email: already supplied

Date of Birth: 1/5/1822 Driver's License #: 8612xx35xx21 Car yes

Present Landlord: none, I live in my car, it's tragic Telephone #:_______

Rent:0 Date From: now To: now

Previous Address: My uncle, teh Nigerian Prince's palace, in Nigeria, you wouldn't know it Phone:yes, he has one

Previous Landlord:___My uncle, the Prince of Nigeria

Rent: 0 Dates From: then To:now

Employer: none, my Nigerian Prince uncle pays everything for me

Address: my car, under the bridge, by that river over there Work Phone:____no

Dates of Employment: never needed it To: Still don't need it Monthly Income: whatever I ask for

Position: niece of prince and Highest Priestess of the Southeastern Southern Isles Supervisor: me

Other Income:__none needed

Nearest Relative:___my cat_ Phone:_same Relationship:cat

Do You Agree To Pay The Security Deposit & The First Month Rent Before Receiving The Keys _____My uncle, the Prince, will be paying it, and extra for your time as soon as the unrest in his area dies down. He has requested, by diplomatic decree that the keys and home be made available to me immediately while he awaits teh settling of the unrest and then will pay you, with extra for your trouble and wait. You will only need to return a small portion of the payment to him to ensure you've received it.

When Will You B Able To Pay __As soon as the unrest is over. I'm a Highest Priestess and the Niece of the Prince, so you need not worry about payment making b

Send One Of Your Picture I'm sure you understand, for political and diplomatical reasons, I cannot let my identity be revealed_

Do You Smoke Or Drink only for ceremonial purposes

Your Hobbies My duties and Priestess Most High of the Southeastern Northern Southern Isles keep me far too busy for hobb-ing_

My mom's a real estate agent and gets similar scams posing as the buyer. Same story, just on the other side of the transaction.

Quite a few lols there!

Just like this morning when I stopped on my way home from work to snag some doughnuts for the kiddos. There was an older woman behind the counter and a guy in his early 40's making selections.

40's guy - "...could I get...two glazed, two chocolate long johns, and an old fashioned?"

I barely stifle a laugh. They both pause and look at me.

Woman - "Just one old fashioned?"

I have to turn and look out the window as I convulse with pent up laughter.

40's guy - "Yeah..." he's looking at me, I can see his reflection. "...just one..."

He pays and she asks him if he'd like a receipt.

He says, "Yeah. It's a write off."

Being a Jackass I say, "A write off? What are you a politician?"

Not smiling he says, "No. It's my company. The doughnuts are for the guys."

Me - "That's nice of you." He walks out without another word.

The woman looks at me expectantly. I screw up my face with a huge leering grin.

Me - "Cold you give me two old fashioneds?..."

She smiles - "Sure." Then grabs the doughnuts.

Sometimes it's fun being me.

I hate to say this (and yes, I'm a parent of 4), Is moving going to help with the bullying or will they just be subjected to new Bullys and be pulled away from any friends they have?

It's one girl in particular that has had an incident or two with our daughter. She is a problem child that displays shocking and saddening amounts of sociopathic behavior.

But the bullying issue is being dealt with, it's just another annoyance lending drive to our desire to move to the sticks.

My sugar rush from the doughnuts has worn off...

In reply to Grtechguy:

I appreciate the questions. The school system we're currently in is fairly well known for not dealing with bullies at all, there's one kid at our school that regularly draws blood from other kids on the playground and is still allowed recess time, because, from the superintendent, "K-3rd graders don't bully". Being pulled away from friends isn't much of an issue, both kids want to get away from their current school and the 'look the other way' policy that seems to be in place.

The town we're hoping to move to is a much smaller school with an administration that isn't afraid of the parents and a student body that has never tolerated bullying. It's the school that most of my family went to when we were growing up, and where my cousin's kids go now, so we're confident that the mindset hasn't changed much.

The bullying problems are only one of the reasons we're moving that direction, and it's the reason that we're looking to rent until we find a forever home. Moving to this town or one nearby is nearly set-in-stone at this point, as my parents (aka our main/only support system for emergencies/kid help) are moving there, which will leave only my little family in this area. I'm was raised as an only child in a very large family, and the rest of them will all be 40+ minutes away once my parents leave. Making this move will increase our support system exponentially with many family members nearby.

The_Jed wrote: It's one girl in particular that has had an incident or two with our daughter. She is a problem child that displays shocking and saddening amounts of sociopathic behavior. But the bullying issue is being dealt with, it's just another annoyance lending drive to our desire to move to the sticks.

And yeah, this particular girl is scary. I tried to be compassionate because her mom is, well, intense (not quite the right word...), but once she and another, much larger, student attacked my 40lb daughter, my compassion was gone.

Clearly your Nigerian uncle should be providing your daughter with an armed military guard.

In reply to bgkast:

I know! He's such a slacker.

The_Jed wrote: Quite a few lols there! Just like this morning when I stopped on my way home from work to snag some doughnuts for the kiddos. There was an older woman behind the counter and a guy in his early 40's making selections. 40's guy - "...could I get...two glazed, two chocolate long johns, and an old fashioned?" I barely stifle a laugh. They both pause and look at me. Woman - "Just one old fashioned?" I have to turn and look out the window as I convulse with pent up laughter. 40's guy - "Yeah..." he's looking at me, I can see his reflection. "...just one..." He pays and she asks him if he'd like a receipt. He says, "Yeah. It's a write off." Being a Jackass I say, "A write off? What are you a politician?" Not smiling he says, "No. It's my company. The doughnuts are for the guys." Me - "That's nice of you." He walks out without another word. The woman looks at me expectantly. I screw up my face with a huge leering grin. Me - "Cold you give me two old fashioneds?..." She smiles - "Sure." Then grabs the doughnuts. Sometimes it's fun being me.

I don't get it.

moparman76_69 wrote:

The_Jed wrote: Quite a few lols there! Just like this morning when I stopped on my way home from work to snag some doughnuts for the kiddos. There was an older woman behind the counter and a guy in his early 40's making selections. 40's guy - "...could I get...two glazed, two chocolate long johns, and an old fashioned?" I barely stifle a laugh. They both pause and look at me. Woman - "Just one old fashioned?" I have to turn and look out the window as I convulse with pent up laughter. 40's guy - "Yeah..." he's looking at me, I can see his reflection. "...just one..." He pays and she asks him if he'd like a receipt. He says, "Yeah. It's a write off." Being a Jackass I say, "A write off? What are you a politician?" Not smiling he says, "No. It's my company. The doughnuts are for the guys." Me - "That's nice of you." He walks out without another word. The woman looks at me expectantly. I screw up my face with a huge leering grin. Me - "Cold you give me two old fashioneds?..." She smiles - "Sure." Then grabs the doughnuts. Sometimes it's fun being me.

I don't get it.

I didn't get it, either, apparently it's from South Park. Most South Park references are lost on me, I was young enough during it's heyday to not be allowed to watch it and never found an interest as an adult.

Morbid wrote:

moparman76_69 wrote:

The_Jed wrote: Quite a few lols there! Just like this morning when I stopped on my way home from work to snag some doughnuts for the kiddos. There was an older woman behind the counter and a guy in his early 40's making selections. 40's guy - "...could I get...two glazed, two chocolate long johns, and an old fashioned?" I barely stifle a laugh. They both pause and look at me. Woman - "Just one old fashioned?" I have to turn and look out the window as I convulse with pent up laughter. 40's guy - "Yeah..." he's looking at me, I can see his reflection. "...just one..." He pays and she asks him if he'd like a receipt. He says, "Yeah. It's a write off." Being a Jackass I say, "A write off? What are you a politician?" Not smiling he says, "No. It's my company. The doughnuts are for the guys." Me - "That's nice of you." He walks out without another word. The woman looks at me expectantly. I screw up my face with a huge leering grin. Me - "Cold you give me two old fashioneds?..." She smiles - "Sure." Then grabs the doughnuts. Sometimes it's fun being me.

I don't get it.

I didn't get it, either, apparently it's from South Park. Most South Park references are lost on me, I was young enough during it's heyday to not be allowed to watch it and never found an interest as an adult.

http://southpark.cc.com/clips/shj9it/a-nice-ol-fashioned

Does the unrest in Nigeria ever die down? I've been hearing about it since the dawn of email.

If any of the princes other relatives come to visit are there rooms that would be suitable for quarantine? Just in case of the Ebola.

What town are you looking to move to?