Panther Platform vs C6 (caution street racing inside)

Here is the scene. On a 5 lane residential artery (2 each way, double turn center) in East Mesa, AKA Snowbird ground zero. After battling though 3 or 4 cars worth of traffic traveling 10-15 below posted, side by side as if in a parade, I finally get up to the break neck speed of 45 (the speed limit) and while setting the cruise, I notice trouble on the horizon. 2 cars, a grey panther chassis (newish grand marque) and a red C6 convertible are lined up on a sunny Sunday late morning at a red light ahead. Not wanting to be stuck behind the loser of the race, then subsequently boxed in by the traffic that I had just cleared, I needed to pick a winner.

Who will be the winner of this race of V8 horsepower? Who will be the first to make it to their top speed of 32-38, depending on wind, down the long arrow straight road of East Mesa? The shinny bald heads glistening through the dark tint next to the puffs of blue hair in the seat next to them not giving a clue as to their true intention.

So, who would the GRM collective pick? There are a few details I have left out intentionally. I want to see what other questions are asked and what other who have to try cross through snowbird infested areas look for in clues as to how to get through traffic.

I would move out of Arizona and thus have a happier life.

Wow, that's a helluva quiz, OP. A veritable Sophie's Choice right there.

Given that the Grand Marquis could be as new as 2 years old and the Vette up to 7, I would think the Merc is more likely to be piloted by a septo-plus-genarian, leaving open the possibility that the Corvette has recently been picked up used by an aspiring, upwardly mobile driving enthusiast.

HOWEVER, your inclusion of the "red" and "convertible" descriptors for the Chevy throws a sizable wrench into the gears of that logic. That screams Slow Old Dude -- the seemingly-requisite white hair and gold chains seem to be enough to slow any once-young man down to a pathetic crawl behind the wheel of a capable sports car.

Stalemate. Only reasonable move: bury the gas pedal, pass them in the turn lane at no less than 70mph against the standing red. An extended middle finger and a Doppler-receding manic scream through open windows are rights reserved to the driver in this case.

The vette driver wants to be fast somewhere deep down in his soul. Maybe, just maybe you can pressure him into believing that he still has a younger man inside his wrinkled old corpse of a body. Gran Marquis over there don't give a berkeley.

Get off the cruise, and hang back far enough that you can slide behind the winner (when you have empirical data about which of them it is) and slalom around the loser.

If that's not possible, pick the curb lane. He MIGHT be turning right without a signal – if you can imagine such a thing.

What states are the cars registered in?

Grand Marque is Iowa, Vette is Ohio.

^ OP is sadistic. This is unfair.

Verify age appearance of drivers. If the Vette driver has hair, and it isn't white, go Vette.

If the Merc has a driver that looks like he's a young punk that's inherited it from dead grandma, go Merc.

If both drivers appear as previously described, you'll pick the wrong lane. No. Matter. What. You're doomed.

Go for the Merc. Grandma's either drive at 15 or 150. I swear half of em used to own Super Stock Dodges.

Javelin wrote: Go for the Merc. Grandma's either drive at 15 or 150. I swear half of em used to own Super Stock Dodges.

One of the things I look for in deciding between vehicles is handicap plates. They seem to be more aggressive off the line. The younger they are, the harder they tend to launch/ seem to have more to prove. I look for cigarettes hanging out of the mouth or pendulous triceps as signs they are younger. Both of those traits tend to keep life spans short and identify them as younger. Bonus points for a rascal bracket on back.

former520 wrote: Grand Marque is Iowa, Vette is Ohio.

Vette, the merc is from IA where everything moves slower.

moparman76_69 wrote: Vette, the merc is from IA where everything moves slower.

Hey now. Hey now. I got passed on the sidewalk by a Jeep in Iowa. Everything moves slower except college towns, then people are either slow or frakking crazy!

Depending on wind the c6 has less drag so it should get up to speed first but it won't leave even a car length to weave through. I would get behind the one that slows down last, as they might be trying to stall for the green light. Any rolling energy will give them an advantage if the light does change. It also shows they might be paying more attention.

That said I would have kept my speed 10 to 15 over the limit to avoid the situation in the first place. If had no way around it I would get in the way of the fastest car behind me to keep the chances of them flanking me as low as possible. So when the light turns green and I do get stuck behind the slower of the two maybe there will be enough of a gap to make a move.

If none of that I would just stay in the left lane and hope the guy in the left ahead of me knows what the turning lane is if he turns. That or the guy in the right turns right and blocks traffic behind him (I love when that happens )

Just curious, do they call it the "Panther platform" because it is the go-to car of the Gray Panthers?

former520 wrote: Grand Marque is Iowa, Vette is Ohio.

The Iowan is more likely to completely disregard all traffic laws and if the one I saw this morning going the wrong way on a roundabout speaks about the rest, they're inept. Ohio, while not much better, at least have a mediocre grasp of the laws of the road.

trick question, they will both drive side by side to the next light at 10 under while not noticing the 1/4 mile backup behind them.

This is the best thread we've had in awhile.

The winner will be the one with the most pixels.

Depending on the age of the combatants, I'd probably pick the vette, simply because if they both keel over and bury the loud pedal, the vette will move faster.

What is the exact time, and are there any buffet specials coming up that they might be heading towards? In that case, it will be the Vette since they'll both be hammering down to get their grub.

Is the left turn blinker on in either car?