"What does Darth Maul look like without his face paint?"
"The same as Toad in X-Men. Only less green."
"Is there anything where Ray Park doesn't have face paint?"
"He played the Headless Horseman in Sleepy Hollow..."
"What does Darth Maul look like without his face paint?"
"The same as Toad in X-Men. Only less green."
"Is there anything where Ray Park doesn't have face paint?"
"He played the Headless Horseman in Sleepy Hollow..."
SWMBO puts away a brick of AA batteries I just bought next to the plethora of other batteries in the junk drawer.
Me: (points to the plethora) "Drawer full of fresh batteries. That's how you know you've made it."
I love a good mix up and today I read
"We'll burn that bridge when we get to it"
I thought it was noteworthy.
"Everybody says they want answers. No, they don't. Most people just want reassurance that the world is they way they already think it is."- Chairman Richard Prescott.
In reply to NickD :
Similar to what I used to say about people asking for advice, especially automotive, on the internet. They don't really want your advice, they just want you to tell them they're right. That was before I found out there was a name for it.
Today I was totally frustrated trying to find a parking spot in the underground at the hospital, while we're getting later and later for Mom's dementia assessment.
Me in anger: Jesus Christ
Mom: He loves you, I'm working on it.
Cole Phelps: You have a daughter?
Rusty Galloway: Spend enough time drinking and you'll find yourself with any number of things you wouldn't want when you're sober.
Cole: So that's why you never sober up?
Rusty: Exactly.
"Cool we have numbers, next step is to start writing them down, after that we learn what to do with them."
- Me, in response to my buddy checking my tire pressures and temps after a session at NCM.
The hateful eight brought up in some news comments section....
"The real difference is Me... The Hangman. To me, it doesn't matter what you did. When I hang you, I will get no satisfaction from your death. It's my job. I hang you in Red Rock, I move on to the next town, I hang someone else there. The man who pulls the lever, that breaks your neck will be a dispassionate man. And that dispassion is the very essence of justice. For justice delivered without dispassion, is always in danger of not being justice."
"The 3000GT is very much the 'we have Supra at home' of sports cars"
Random guy: Take it easy, you can't win practice.
Cleetus: No, yeah, you can definitely win practice.
"If you're brains were made of dynamite you wouldn't have enough brainpower to blow your nose"
-source needed
WHO DOWNVOTES A SHOE? me, trying to figure out why the shoe in my hand for a joke made on Reddit deserved to be down voted. God I hate people.
"Govern me harder, Daddy."
from a post by RevRico in a thread that likely won't last long.
"We're fat, we like to drink beer and cook meat on the weekends"
My neighbor down the street who showed up at midnight Saturday night to invite us to 20lbs of pulled pork ready around 2am.
Finally, a neighbor I can get along with.
"What do you think that stuff tastes like?"
"Rotten taco sauce"
"Once again, the Hyundai extends the long finger of diplomacy."
1SlowVW said:"If you're brains were made of dynamite you wouldn't have enough brainpower to blow your nose"
-source needed
If brains were gasoline, you couldn't drive a dinky toy around a cheerio.
My 13 y.o. Freaking about a short essay due in three days (she's a bit overachiever-y sometimes)-
"It's not easy, Dad! I don't even know where to start!!!"
Me, in my typical gravelly drawl-
"I hear the beginning's a good place..."
Needless to say, she was not amused...
"They say dress for the job you want. That's why I grew this mustache, because I'd really like to be a 1987 2wd truck pull champion."
"we bought a luggage today. Are we adults now?"
One of my favorites.
"It has the original V12 feeding a turbocharger that I'm told is the size of a prize-winning pumpkin." - Ryan Lanteigne regarding the new engine combo in Federico Sceriffo's Ferrari 599 GTB drift car.
It's like my mom always told me...
"You might not be the dumbest guy in the world, but you better hope he doesn't die."
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