She wants a wedding in a church, I want a wedding on the beach, possible loophole? FL Folks chime in

Catholic Church, or Catholic ceremony??

I thought the priest kind made the ceremony. Is the building that important??

Ojala wrote: In reply to Enyar: HA! I just think its cute that you think you actually have any say/opinion on your wedding. I say this as a married man welcoming a fellow brother into the fold: you are a wedding accessory on par with the cake or the flowers, but not necessarily the dress.

You sir win two internets today!

spitfirebill wrote: If you think that is expensive, wait till you tell the caterer and florist the W word.

It depends on the size of the wedding, but in my case, we checked out catering options and realized we could book a private room at a decent restaurant for way less, so we did. They're less likely to have the "W tax" than ordinary catering services.

First of all, do you two really agree with the Catholic Church's understanding of what marriage is? That is a faithful, fruitful (open to children) and forever marriage? That you'll raise any children Catholic?

Assuming yes, you might want to talk to the parish priest/diocesan chancery about dispensations/permissions if there's a church that's important to you/your family that might work as an alternate possibility.

scardeal wrote: First of all, do you two really agree with the Catholic Church's understanding of what marriage is? That is a faithful, fruitful (open to children) and forever marriage? That you'll raise any children Catholic? Assuming yes, you might want to talk to the parish priest/diocesan chancery about dispensations/permissions if there's a church that's important to you/your family that might work as an alternate possibility.

From what I understand, there isn't a requirement to raise the children Catholic.Only a requirement on her part to give it a try and remove any possibilities of her deflecting from the religion. Otherwise yes. As far as an important church goes, there really isn't one in particular. We just moved to a new area so her prior church is no longer a valid option.

Enyar wrote:

scardeal wrote: First of all, do you two really agree with the Catholic Church's understanding of what marriage is? That is a faithful, fruitful (open to children) and forever marriage? That you'll raise any children Catholic? Assuming yes, you might want to talk to the parish priest/diocesan chancery about dispensations/permissions if there's a church that's important to you/your family that might work as an alternate possibility.

From what I understand, there isn't a requirement to raise the children Catholic.

Yes there is.

Enyar wrote:

scardeal wrote: First of all, do you two really agree with the Catholic Church's understanding of what marriage is? That is a faithful, fruitful (open to children) and forever marriage? That you'll raise any children Catholic? Assuming yes, you might want to talk to the parish priest/diocesan chancery about dispensations/permissions if there's a church that's important to you/your family that might work as an alternate possibility.

From what I understand, there isn't a requirement to raise the children Catholic.Only a requirement on her part to give it a try and remove any possibilities of her deflecting from the religion. Otherwise yes. As far as an important church goes, there really isn't one in particular. We just moved to a new area so her prior church is no longer a valid option.

Looks like you are looking for loopholes.

I think the answer to Scardeal's question is, no the two of you do no agree with the Catholic Church's understanding of what marriage is. In fact, i dont think either one of you does.

Speaking from experience, it matters. Dont start your marriage based on a lie, even a "little" one.

Be honest with yourselves. If you dont agree with the Catholic Church's perspective, dont get married in a Catholic Church.

Prior to the vows themselves, you're asked 3 questions:

"(Name) and (name), have you come here freely and without reservation to give yourselves to each other in marriage?" "Will you honor each other as man and wife for the rest of your lives?" "Will you accept children lovingly from God, and bring them up according to the law of Christ and his Church?"

Question #3 essentially means 2 things:
1. Are you open to children?
2. Will you bring up the children as Catholics and educate them in the faith?

SVreX wrote: Looks like you are looking for loopholes. I think the answer to Scardeal's question is, no the two of you do no agree with the Catholic Church's understanding of what marriage is. In fact, i dont think either one of you does. Speaking from experience, it matters. Dont start your marriage based on a lie, even a "little" one. Be honest with yourselves. If you dont agree with the Catholic Church's perspective, dont get married in a Catholic Church.

She absolutely does. Do I think it's mandatory to raise my kids with a religion I am not familiar with, heck no. That's something we're going to have to talk about/come to a compromise with. It's certainly not going to be a done deal just because the church says it has to be done.

Enyar wrote:

SVreX wrote: Looks like you are looking for loopholes. I think the answer to Scardeal's question is, no the two of you do no agree with the Catholic Church's understanding of what marriage is. In fact, i dont think either one of you does. Speaking from experience, it matters. Dont start your marriage based on a lie, even a "little" one. Be honest with yourselves. If you dont agree with the Catholic Church's perspective, dont get married in a Catholic Church.

She absolutely does. Do I think it's mandatory to raise my kids with a religion I am not familiar with, heck no. That's something we're going to have to talk about/come to a compromise with. It's certainly not going to be a done deal just because the church says it has to be done.

Then your marriage is potentially starting off on a big lie. Now is the time to come to the compromise.

Enyar wrote: She absolutely does. Do I think it's mandatory to raise my kids with a religion I am not familiar with, heck no. That's something we're going to have to talk about/come to a compromise with. It's certainly not going to be a done deal just because the church says it has to be done.

Yep. You sound just like me. Exact clone.

We've made it 29 years. We have a good marriage. But I do have regrets.

I regret I started my marriage in a lie. And even while I was doing it, I was convinced I was completely honorable, and that the Catholic Church had no business telling me what to do, or how to raise my kids.

Would I have married the same woman? Yup. Same kids? Yup.

But my attitude forced me to make my wife make compromises which I did not understand, which undermined her integrity. Though she would never say it this way, at some level she hated me for it.

29 years later, I'm learning there is a lot of hurt under the surface, and that our relationship was never as strong as it could have been, because I didn't value what was important to her, and compromised her integrity and my own.

I'm not trying to preach. But please think hard about it. PM me if you want.

Hmm...interesting. PM on its way!