So, I'm the executor...

Nothing to add beyond my condolences. 

My FIL passed in Dec of 19, SIL could not commit to doing anything.  BIL and I just had to get the ball rolling, each used a week of vacation.  Good thing we did, his house sold just as the country went into lockdown.  In hind site I should have bought out the rest and rented it, BIL and I were on board.  SIL rented and still has a storage unit for all the stuff she couldn’t let go of.   The absolute painfully slowest part was her sorting everything just to be sure.   Admittedly every nook and cranny was packed in this house, it was a lot of stuff.

I learned to let stuff go now.

 I’m forwarding this thread to a friend who is going through this right now.

In reply to akylekoz :

We unpacked my 2 grandmothers houses and my two spinster great aunts that lived together. 

Three packed Chicago bungalow houses from four depression era ladies all born in the 1910-1915 era. (What's in these 5 coffee cans in the basement? Cardboard style Bingo chips?)

My parents got through it and told us they are not going to do that to their kids so they purged.  In the end four kids spent weekends clearing out three floors and a big garage. (I thought they purged?)

Purge now.  

Keep communications open and don't assume an object has no value.  I have seen the biggest family disputes over the spoon grandma bent while serving ice cream at the family reunion.

I remodel homes for a living.  A family came to me last year after their mother died.  They wanted to sell her home.  Their realtor gave them a list of changes to make to improve it in the market.  Realtor said with the changes it would sell at $400K.   I estimated the changes at $65K, and told the family to sell it as is with a $350K listing.  They could avoid two months of hassle.

They followed my advice.  Sold it in 3 days.  Of course, this was in Florida so YMMV.

In reply to Purple Frog (Forum Supporter) :

Good on you for being honest abour the value.

It has been my experience as a buyer that estate sales try to maximize the dollars but not necessarily empty the house. I've seen some stretch over several weekends with the prices lowering slightly each week.

auctions empty the house. (And probably net more dollars per hour due to easier / quicker prep) and the house is empty at the end of the day or the next day.

In reply to fasted58 :

sorry to hear about your Dad.  I'm sure he was a good man.

akylekoz said:

The absolute painfully slowest part was her sorting everything just to be sure.   Admittedly every nook and cranny was packed in this house, it was a lot of stuff.

Depending on the habits of the deceased, you may have to go through every single thing.  My mother liked to put away a few dollars here and there in old envelopes, and then she'd apparently forget about them.  When we cleaned out the house, we probably found a couple grand in paper and coin, stuck away in every nook and cranny.

Stuff inside people's houses is such a crapshoot. It's like trading cards -- 98% of them are worth absolutely nothing but 0.01% of them are worth a buttload. The thing is those items are still worth nothing in the wrong person's hands. This gets back into the stuff in the garage where it's super obvious that it has at least some value whereas the stuff inside is much more of a question mark.

Or think about rock records when your uncle dies where you know they're all worth $10-15 each minimum and you've heard of almost all the bands but the grandma died records are almost all worth zero except for the one out of hundreds that is worth $5000. Which record is it? Can you tell?

While I wanted to keep out in front of this I'm taking a time out. I put off an appraisal until better weather, maybe early spring. Lots to deal with with paperwork from banks, insurance, SSA, pension etc. Already been notified by Pa. Dept. of Revenue of inheritance tax on Dad's and my joint account. So, attorney and tax specialist time.

First, need to find an attorney and get certified as executor. My folks attorney has long since passed as well as his attorney daughter. The search is on. 

After all of the responses here we are going to sell the house 'as is'. I would have liked to have seen a few improvements done for eyeball appeal but y'all are right. I (we) have no sentimental attachments to his house and it's a monetary situation now. 

Not much of a reply from my sibs as to what should we do with the house now. My sister did respond with 'we could do repairs and the cleaning'. Whats this 'we' E36 M3? I know my name is on the repairs and some cleaning as well. I will finish the plumbing job I started before Dad went downhill and only do any necessary plumbing repairs if needed.

There are several solder gate valves with frozen stems, packing nuts and suspicious looking bonnets but I did replace the main water shut off valve that leaked through so there is a good shut off now. Thank you 3/4" Apollo ball valve. I may replace the kitchen light fixture but nothing more. I'll clean out the basement and garage and then hose. I'd prefer hiring a cleaning crew for the household as well as carpet shampooing. 

Possessions: About 7-8 years ago Dad told us kids to look through stuff for what we would want. I never looked too deep, only after my sister found my scouting stuff my folks had kept. Of course, I want my stuff. Dad liked to 'borrow' my paint, drill bits and some tools which I will reclaim. I started a list back then for items on the wish list or items to be taken. The list has long disappeared so I have no idea who has what but that was under Dad's deal. At Dad's viewing my sister had Mom's gold necklace on and my niece wore a gold heart pendant. I gave that pendant to Mom for Christmas in the early 2000's, it was $400. Things like that should to be taken into account. 

There is not much I would want. Dad asked me to keep his guns in my safe. I have his H&R 16 gauge single and a Remington 700. I am not a gun collector per se but would like to keep family guns. What I really wanted was his .35 Remington Model 141 pump gun but he sold that before I ever knew. I'm keeping the H&R as that was his first gun as a kid. There's a cool story I may post in the Dad thread of three brothers and their guns.

Dad started cleaning out in the mid-2000's. I sold a lot of his old tools (his Dad's too) on ebay back then. Every day he would bring another box full up. Geez, I couldn't keep up. We moved them and he made money.

There were antiques in the house from my grandparents. Dad started selling them to an antique dealer. I had no idea or I would have paid up for them. I think the dealer really made out on them. One item was a 6 footed bed with a wraparound footboard. Geez, I really wanted that. It's family. My sister got a Depression era pantry cabinet and I got a radio cabinet. I'll never give that up. I put new firebrick and some cast pieces in the old coal stove fire box. Cast parts were still available for the cook top then. I think he gave that away. IIRC the going price for coal stoves back then was around $400. He replaced it with a wood burner though.

Dad would complain about money but I'd respond with how much money he gave away selling antiques. He thought they were just old.

The remaining furniture is late 50's through 90's, so nothing really special. A young couple starting out may appreciate it though. My sister thinks donation but they may be full and not accepting. Selling with kitchen appliances may be the best option. Washer and drier also, they are older but good. 

We need to have a walk around at the house and a sit down to figure this all out. Too early to tell and the weather isn't cooperating. 

I made it known that I will finish out Dad's car. Needs a grille and bumper cover respray after a light deer hit. I will finish detailing the paint, no dents or dings but scratches typical of a truck, which Dad treated it like. Working part time this summer I worked 3-4 days per week, 3-5 hours per day cleaning and detailing the trunk, under hood and the interior. It took six weeks. I'm quite pleased with the results though, no regrets. I may post a story on the Dad thread. It was humorous, until it wasn't.

I'm not necessarily doing this for improving sale value or because I like detailing but because it was my parents last car. It was their freedom machine and they drove around like teenagers in that Buick. I could never sell it in the condition that it was in, it deserves much better.

I never charged time or labor since Dad broke his hip. I checked the house, mail and messages. Did the banking and bills, delivered scripts, made the calls, cleaned the car, fixed his lawn mowers, did plumbing, winterizing etc. Even being retired this took half my time, at times it felt like a full time job. My folks did so much for me that I could never repay them. 

I have receipts and kept a tally for house materials, car maintenance, car and mower parts, script copays and lottery tickets etc that I spent cash or debit on. Dad liked his scratch off lottery tickets, not the $1, $5 or $10 variety but $20 tickets all the time. It really adds up. I'd take cash out of his pension check deposit to repay myself. Current owed balance is around $1K which I intend to get back. I'd been paying his cell phone bill since 2015 because he asked me to take care of it. I have all email receipts that I intend to get back. I thought of only taking 50% but may reconsider for full amount. It was that senior cell phone that probably saved his life after he fell and broke his hip and called me. 

Credit to my sister who took care of all the medical speak with facilities, doctors, cancer center, hospice etc. She would come in every few weeks and stay 2-3 days to spend with Dad. My brother, not so much, but he's an important guy and has that custody thing going.

I don't know what my sibs thoughts are of all of this, what their takes were and what their wish list is and what they are willing to contribute time wise to this effort. We need a good sit down talk when time and weather permits.

Thanks to all here for your condolences, thoughts and recommendations. They are much appreciated.

You will never regret all the support you offered  to your Father.   Those times as trying as they can be are priceless.

The '50s furniture could be worth something. Midcentury is hot right now.

GCrites80s said:

The '50s furniture could be worth something. Midcentury is hot right now.

Yes, I thought it could be as well.

My parents were married in '56 and still have their first bedroom set. I don't know the descriptive style of the era or the finish, but it is lighter than blonde. Nice full set and in good condition. I'll get a pic and post here to see if anybody can identify it. 

There are several wardrobes, because lack of closet space, mostly metal but there is a nice cedar wardrobe that looks 50's- ish. I'm not a furniture expert and I don't trust antique dealers, so research is necessary here.

May have to go to CL or FBMP after all. I'm not selling to flippers though who will laugh all the way to the bank just so we can move things out in a hurry.

Thanks 

Furniture is tough- if it's the right kind there's money to be gotten and it won't be hard to sell. If not, it might be hard to give away. We gave away a bunch of antique pieces that are out of fashion now.

Great idea to put pix up here, lots of varied knowledge.

Found Dad's will, which was rewritten in 2015 to split Mom's ownership from the property deed and accounts. Dad handled this on his own with a new attorney after his former attorney had passed away. I was not much in the loop then. 

The will is pretty straightforward, all assets split equally among three of us kids.

Contacted the attorney today and we'll have a meeting in a few days to get the initials started. Waiting on death certificates from the state, will need that to get sworn in at the courthouse as executor, probably in closing a bank account also. They will also help with tax situations, property deed, car title etc. They are local so it's all good. 

This will obviously take time but at least the ball will be rolling, not going to rush this, one day at a time.

I'll start sorting things at Dad's when I go out to check the house a few days per week. Looking at the big picture I didn't know where to start but gotta start somewhere. Not much input from my brother or sister yet, I don't know what amount of time they will contribute. So far, I feel alone in this endeavor but that may change when the weather improves, it's 2° right now.

Haven't shot pics of any furniture yet but I will get to that soon. 

In reply to fasted58 :

You're going to want 10-12 death certificates. Used to be really hard to get copies, but at least in Westmoreland county just gotta call the courthouse or SSA office and ask. After a certain number they aren't free, but aren't very expensive either. Most utilities, vehicles, the house, bank accounts, healthcare related stuff, insurance policies are all going to want "official" copies, meaning not a copy made at kinkos. 

When my dad died, by the time all wa said and done I think we went through 13 certificates. 

In reply to RevRico :

The funeral home took care of ordering 10 death certificates which they said were free. We ordered 5 more, which were optional, for a small fee.

Just checked the itemized statement from the FH and there are no additional certificates noted or fees. So, we're probably only getting the 10. We'll see. Situation normal... nothing here is as easy as it should be.

More than 10 seems right. I've been getting notices from insurance, pension, healthcare etc. and haven't got to property, car or canceling utilities yet, plus what the attorney needs.

Thanks Rev

You might be OK with 10. We got 20 for my sister and 12 for my MIL and still have a bunch. A lot of places will want to see an original but can make a copy or scan and return the original. Especially true when you're dealing in person as seems likely from your post.

Glad things are underway for you. It's a process that often runs on its own time...

Had the initial meeting with the attorney this afternoon. Appeared to me she was all business from the get go. Still waiting on the death certificates from the state so I can be sworn in as executor and handle other business. 

I can close one of Dad's accounts because of the joint account with me. I'll deposit that in the larger account. I can pay the state inheritance tax from the joint account. We can make that account the estate account.

She also added that since I'm a co-owner of the account I don't have to put it in with the estate, I could keep it for myself. I would never do that, the will states equally split between us three kids. She replied with I'm only telling you that because you can if you want to. Through routine emails I've been totally transparent with my sibs on bank balances and spending since I took over finances in March '21. There is also some Dad cash that my sibs are aware of also. I only want what is due to me, I've spent out of my pocket that I want reimbursed to me, WAG around $3K. I will get that back.

Us kids need a sit down at Dad's house to discuss possessions and sorting out, minor repairs and improvements, cleaning etc. I'm not pressing them now because of winter weather. My brother near DC got caught in the I-95 fiasco and missed the funeral home viewing, but did get in for the services and burial. I wouldn't put them through that as they still have to pass through Garrett Co. Md. which can be a bitch till early spring... ask me how I know.

Attorney suggested a deadline in April for them to tag stuff they want and start moving it. I dunno about that but that should get things moving sooner, I guess. Also, don't bother with an appraisal now, just go with a real estate agency when time comes to put a price on it. 

Per Dad's car, she suggested selling as is. I made a point that I will finish detailing the car not only because I'm a car guy and the potential increased value but that it was my parents last car and I just wouldn't sell it like a coffee table or some other possession. The car is getting finished to my standards. She suggested selling to Carvana, which is a good point. I would dread selling on CL or FBMP or dealer lot with commission. What, 10% still?, without lifting a finger.

The attorney appeared to me to want to speed things along, and after a story or two of hers where estates dragged out I can see her point. I'd like to settle things sooner rather than later also, but I am mostly working on my own here for the time being. Since March of '21 my personal time has been split 50% with taking care of Dad stuff, which I have no problem with as Dad always came first, but in the end I came last. I'd like to get back to my retirement.

One step at a time, the ball is rolling though.

My lawyer was all business from minute #1 - good cause he's charging me $300/hour and I know him from my church.

My lawyer said technically the inheritance was to me and not my wife so I could make the decision to keep it myself.  He didn't recommend that but had to point it out.   Nah, she's been in for close to 40 years, it's ours.  

Suggesting a date in April for tagging is likely the lawyer’s way of herring things moving. April 24 is 3 months from today. As executor you’re the leader and to keep everyone focused.

In reply to Datsun310Guy :

That should have been higher on my radar when my FIL passed.  The now ex used me to dispose of property, clean up his mess, and make sense of the tangled estate.  But she was very evasive about where the money went and she hid whole chunks of money from our joint account.  Some people....

fasted58 said:

they still have to pass through Garrett Co. Md. which can be a bitch till early spring... ask me how I know.

 

 

I used to live there, If you have to get off of 68 it can indeed be a total crapshoot for those not used to the snow driving up there. There are roads that just stay a snowpack all winter with nothing but cinders on them. Major local routes (here's looking at you New Germany).   That all said, When school (Frostburg) closed for snow, I would still drive up to the Wisp to go skiing, lol. 

Hope things move along smoothly for you. Our family had a lot of drama with a 2nd cousin showing up and just taking things from my grandmothers house (she had a key, but wasnt named in the will), then upon threat of legal action returning most of the stuff broken. People get funny around this type of stuff and the "I'm gonna get mine" attitude is something to watch out for.    

Update time, long overdue.

First, I'd like to thank posters for your advice, they are much appreciated. I'll continue to post my experiences for those who may have to go through this in the future.

I was sworn in as executor in February, a formality but necessary to do business. Attorney fees are 5% of the first $50K and 4% on the balance of the estate. Received an EIN from the IRS for estate tax purposes and to open an estate bank account (transferring Dad's account). 

Meeting today with the attorney re: estate taxes. Utility, medical, property taxes, building materials etc after death can be a deduction for tax purposes. I'll have to file Dad's personal taxes separately soon. They are helping with filing for my Mom's personal unclaimed property with the state, around $2700 and worth going after before the estate is closed. 

One thing I have learned is be to the point with the attorney, no chit chat, strictly business. I didn't shop for them, Dad picked this office after his previous attorney passed away and when we had to split Mom's assets from Dad's for her long term care at a nursing facility. This office is doing okay as far as I'm concerned. 

The attorney seems like she wants to push things along sooner rather than later. Sell house and car 'as is'. I disagreed. My sister thought we could list the house by May, I highly doubt it. Attorney said August should be the latest to list. I'll be in the middle with late June to July to list the house. Nobody knows this house as well as I do right now. The car will get finished out as I see fit as well. My brother and sister are both interested in the car, let them sort it out.

I gave up on any house/ property upgrades as I suggested previously. I am repairing the plumbing as it is one issue we would be dinged on in a house inspection. Hundreds of dollars in material and my time vs thousands by a plumber. Plumbing is a real fuster cluck and much is out of code. The foundation, frame, roof, interior and electrical all look good. Plumbing is minor but will take time.

No sit down meeting between us sibs yet. Weather and personal schedules have been the main issue. Our tentative meeting is two weeks from now. My sister has come up a few times to clean and sort, much to her credit. Brother, not. We're waiting on him so we could pick and choose belongings, furniture etc. and plan from there on out.

I'm focused only on the plumbing now and won't do any cleaning/ sorting until this job is done. I'd rather hire folks to clean and move stuff we might not be able to handle, my sister thinks 'we' could do that. Great, tell that to my back. I only ask their opinions to be fair. Your PhD, MBA and 'managerial skills' means nothing to me. I am the motherberkeleyer in charge here, and I have the final word, try me.

Today the attorney brought up my compensation as executor. Yes, that factors in but not exactly my priority right now. Almost one year to the day that Dad fell and broke his hip. My personal life changed right then and there to being 50% of my former life with taking care of Dad's stuff, but Dad always came first, no problem. 

Any wins are minor but I keep on pluggin', it'll turn the corner one of these days.

The housing market there is still doing inspections?  All that is getting waived here.  I'm with your attorney, do nothing to the house, sell it as is, right now.  It's not worth fixing the plumbing only to miss out on the Spring/Summer house selling season.  Just disclose that the plumbing needs to be fixed and make a price allowance for it. 

There.  Done and it saves you a whole bunch of time.