After almost a full year, just before the "wedding," my mother finally just blurts out, in the middle of dinner, "You're already married, aren't you." I couldn't keep myself from laughing. We all had a good laugh and I had to explain our reasoning for keeping things quiet. With four weeks until the reception, our plan will still work out. Keeping her parents (who want to be involved in the process) in the dark.
Figured I'd humor the crowd with last night's shenanigans.
well...don't keep us in the dark...what's the reason? lol
Her parents were trying to be too involved. We wanted to get eloped and have a reception a year later. So, we got married October 12, we will fake a courthouse wedding (say we went there) and have a reception the following weekend. My wife thought my parents wanted to be involved as well, so she wanted to keep them in the dark too, so I went along with it. My parents were in no way upset.
Beats all the stress and planing. congrats!
My parents eloped - didn't tell anyone for about a year - they were young, horny and skeird (of my grand dad) hillbilly teenagers.
In reply to N Sperlo:
some of my friends just did the exact same thing for the exact same reasons as you. certain 'rents wanting to be a little tooooo involved.
I'm happy with it. Still a little planning involved for the reception, but soooo much easier.
Dude you are a better man than I.
MY wife and I tried to elope and we still had 2 moms there. (there was less than 3 days notice and they both had jobs)
I've got two daughters. I'll throw ten grand at either one if they run off for the ceremony, and pay for their own party.
Wish I had thought of that.
weve said dozens of times, that if we were to do it again, we'd spend the cash that went to the wedding, reception, and honeymoon, on a simple ceremony with the 2 of us and a pastor on a beach somewhere that no ones ever heard of.
I, for one, applaud the OP and offer my sincerest congratulations on doing it right!
I got married on the beach in jeans and a t-shirt with a white dress shirt over it by my father-in-law with about 20 people there. That was with a super over involved mother-in-law who wanted a grandiose church wedding.
We're hoping the reception brings in some cash for a down payment. We don't want gifts of anything but money. We have what we need. Been together seven years... I think???
Streetwiseguy wrote: I've got two daughters. I'll throw ten grand at either one if they run off for the ceremony, and pay for their own party.
My wife and I got the same offer from my father-in-law before our wedding. We both thought he was kidding. We've since learned he wasn't. If we had thought he was serious, we might have taken him up on it.
I didn't get married in a church, so my mother still thinks I'm single. And she's been dead for six years.
When working as a production tech with the disk jockey, it wasn't uncommon to get booked for a 6hr reception(mind you, that was close to $3k alone) in a venue that cost at least 10k per night, etc.....
Even paying out that much money, we still had people amazed that we actually showed up dressed nice, with a complete sound system(as in NOT dinky powered pa speakers), and complete intelligent light setup......I remember we always had a lot of repeat customers after receptions. 
Sperlo, you did it right.....screw the flashy crap, its unnecessary and expensive.
I have a bad feeling we're about to go through a big tadoo with my berkeleying sister getting married before long......I'm going to have to find a tuxedo t-shirt......
Baahaha. Maybe I'll get a tuxedo-t. Nah... My "I void warranties" shirt should work just fine. 
Back in my early days I was a professional photographer, and I shot a lot of weddings. I know what I charged, and it certainly wasn't the priciest part. Some people just went insane. I shot a Greek wedding once that lasted almost 16 hours. For me, everything after 4 hours was $150 an hour, and that was back in the '90's.
When I got married, it was just us and our parents with a pastor, and I still spent close to $5k I think. (We did a simple meal afterwards that we paid for, plus dress, suit, etc.) Tivia: Pro challenge driver Alan M. was my photographer...and the only friend at my wedding. That's how small it was.
I simply don't understand how people spend the kind of money they do on weddings. If you price in terms of R Comps, it really adds up!
N Sperlo wrote: We're hoping the reception brings in some cash for a down payment. We don't want gifts of anything but money. We have what we need. Been together seven years... I think???
Hope you do better than us, I had an inexpensive wedding and with my relatives I still lost money. Who brings nine people to a wedding on a $100 savings bond? Any number of my relatives.
racerdave600 wrote: I simply don't understand how people spend the kind of money they do on weddings. If you price in terms of R Comps, it really adds up!
Don't remind me. Fortunately I am not paying for mine. I'd rather have the downpayment on a house.
Its been discussed. I'm spending $0.
yamaha wrote: When working as a production tech with the disk jockey, it wasn't uncommon to get booked for a 6hr reception(mind you, that was close to $3k alone)
Sweet Crispy Christ!
I played a wedding with my 6 piece band this past weekend, about 8 hours including commute (with a ferry across the river) and setup/teardown. We undercharged by a substantial sum. Like, by about 1/4.
Hey Sperlo, need a country band? Evidently we're cheap. 
In reply to alex:
Yea, they selected our mid level sound setup for 1200, added video (on a 20' screen)for 200, karaoke, 2 extra hours @ $200 an hour, plus some other things, add all that into the fact it was 3.5hrs travel time for us each way. The scary thing is, we've done much larger setups before. We routinely ran into running out of power......god help the venue's light bill
In reply to alex:
Can you do rock music for a night. As long as the first song isn't "Lovin' Touchin' Squeezin'." Apparently not a good song for the first dance.
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