Tell me why this won't work.

My friend and I were doing some work in his concrete driveway and spilled some oil.

I jokingly suggested he should get a paint roller with an extension handle and a tray, put oil in the tray and paint the whole driveway with a light coat of oil so it all matches.

His driveway is small so it would probably only take 10- 15 minutes, then he wouldn't have to worry about the next bout of spilled oil. We laughed about it. Then we had a few beers. With each passing beer it seemed like a better and better idea. We couldn't think of any reason this wouldn't work.

Can anyone tell me why it wouldn't work, or why it wouldn't be a good idea.
 

It might work, but kitty litter is cheaper than oil. Buy a bag of the cheapest you can find that is the non-clumping variety, pile it on, grind it in with your shoes and leave it there for a few days.

Slippery when wet comes to mind. And the more "green" neighbors might take issue with runoff.

That said, I think it's a decent idea to hide stains, but house cleanup because of tracking on shoes could be more pain than its worth. 

In reply to drsmooth :

I guess it depends on what you mean by “work”. An oil coating may hide existing stains, depending on the darkness of the stains vs. the oil rolled down. The oil will also repel water and could make the surface slippery when wet, depending on how course the concrete is. 

Of course if you’re rolling on used oil vs. fresh there’s the potential environmental impact, but I think that’s a bit overblown on a small driveway(unless he has well water). 

I have no idea how long the coating would last, but certainly not as long as garage floor stains, since the driveway is exposed to the elements. I’m not sure if keeping the cement coated my cause it to break down sooner long-term?

Tracking a bunch of oil anywhere you walked or drove seems like an annoyance

itll be slippery whenever theres any water on it. When you touch it youll take some oil off. Itll put oil on your tires and i bet do some odd stuff to the rubber depending on how much we are talking about 

I cant imagine a single reason why i would want any of that

Reminds me of one of my favorite pranks. Haven't used motor oil, but it you take some tire shine and draw or write things on cement it won't be visible until it rains, when it then becomes very visible. Lasts for years. Great sidewalk shenanigans.

In reply to barefootskater :

I know what im doing tonight......

I think your choices here are really...

Looks like crap in one spot or Looks like crap everywhere.

Let's say the white concrete has "browned" in one spot.  I expect if you "oil paint" all the concrete you will have tan concrete everywhere with one remaining brown spot. You will have a hard time "color matching" the one spot.

Ive had thoughts about oiling the whole parking area, as I have drippy 2t bikes.  Bulk cooking oil is cheap and non-toxic for anybody who doesn't want to go to motor oil.  Tracking it everyplace is the issue.

THE FIRST RULE OF PROJECT MAYHEM IS YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT PROJECT MAYHEM.