Tell Us Your Best and Worst "Two Weeks Notice" Stories

Inspired by this thread, I propose we have a thread for best and worst stories based on turning in your two weeks notice. So, tell us your best, or your worst, or both. i'll start.

Best:

Feedback from my boss alternated between "dude you're awesome, i really like how you do things" and "dude you suck, why don't you do things exactly like I do?"  I'm talking weekly team meetings, not annual performance reviews.  Finally he put me on a "Performance Improvement Program," which ends with either (1) congratulations, you get to keep your job or (2) we have documented your suckage and you're fired.  At the end of the 6-week PIP period, we have a meeting with HR in which he said "you didn't meet all the goals but we can't find anyone to replace you, so you get to keep your job." Imagine his surprise when I responded by sliding my resignation letter across the table.  No, motherberkeleyer, *you* get to keep my job.  Really, he was actually surprised that i would go out and find another job.  It was priceless.  And because I was going to a competitor, it was their company policy to walk the quitter to their desk to pack their E36 M3, then Ford Econobox them to the door immediately.

So, that's the cake.  Here's the icing:  The competitor I went to was also a customer for some products.  So about 6 months later, that berkeleyer had to walk into the board room of my new employer and pitch their "here's why you should select us" business proposal to me and my team.  :-)

Basically the same: Terrible boss, we had lost 7 or 8 tenured guys in a few months due to this jackwagon's poor management.  I secured a huge pay raise at a competitor, walked in one day and said "this is my last day." 

Our company had a policy of walking you out pretty much immediately, so I was expecting the same treatment. Boss asks "aren't you going to give me 2 weeks  notice?" I just started packing my stuff. On the way out he tried to give me cash to backdate a letter and make it look like I gave 2 weeks. Found out later he had the worst employee satifaction scores in the ENTIRE company (it was a really large company) and his boss was all over him about it. Somehow he kept his job, because evil never dies.

I don't have anything too dramatic, but when I worked at the big used car dealership, I knew I wasn't succeeding, so I decided to put in my two weeks notice.

To my surprise, my supervisor politely said "Oh you don't need to put in two weeks, you can just leave."

Alright then. See ya later.

A firm I enjoyed working in was relocating far out of commuting range, so I began interviewing locally.

Got a job offer and came to terms; signed a contract.  This was during the first week in October.  New place said I could start November 1st, so I put in my 2 weeks at my current employer.  That's a different story but not exactly relevant here.

Showed up for work at the new place on November 1st, and the boss was like, "What are you doing here?"

Apparently having told me when to start 3 weeks previously and signing a Bob-damned contract to that effect wasn't good enough?

I got sent home for an additional 2 weeks unpaid vacation.  It ended up kind of being an indicator of how that firm was run.  It was actually a relief when we got bought out by the large local arm of a national firm.

Every time I gave notice it was kind of a non event. I got the usual, "We hate to lose you but understand the need to move on and up."

I worked out my two weeks, and shook everyone hand on the way out the door. 

In reply to Toyman! :

Same here. Even at the E36 M3tiest job I've ever had, I worked hard right up til the last day. In the end, I didn't do it for the boss (because berk him) and not as much for co-workers, I did it for me. So I could look myself in the mirror and know I did right even though they did me wrong.

Best is not giving notice because if they can fire me without notice, I can leave the same berkeleying way.

I'm one week into a 2 week notice.  My boss and main office is 5 hours away.  Monday I had a service call 2 hours north, took the scenic route getting there, installed parts for 20 minutes, had a nice lunch and drove home.  Today (Friday) someone placed a call for parts I have to order from the manufacturer.  Those parts may not arrive before my last day. 

Pretty sweet so far.  Getting some home maintenance done and shopping for a used/new riding mower.

I had a manager who was clearly bent on getting rid of me so that she could have an all-female team of recent college grads. (She got me through a corporate acquisition and did not like having anyone older, more experienced, and more male than her on her team).  She threw all kinds of BS my way and I overcame all of it, much to her chagrin. She eventually invented a reason to put me on a PIP, and of course I nailed all of the metrics established.

At the end of the review period, she did not have any justifiable reason to get rid of me, so was forced to "reevaluate" my job responsibilities and move me to some other role.  I said no thanks, and turned in my 2 weeks. Being a corporation, they decided to sever ties immediately, that very Friday. I started the new and much better job I had interviewed for and secured during my PIP period the following Monday. As Hannibal used to say, "I love it when a plan comes together".

Second best was when I was working for a VC startup. The owner had kinda lost interest in the company. New products were delayed and I really didn't have much work to do. I called him up and said "I am so grateful that you are paying me well to do nothing, but it seems unnecessary. How about I find something else and we shake hands as friends and move along?" He paid me to look for my next gig, and that was that. I could have hung on for another year or so before the company was finally sold off, but I like to work and get bored easily. 

calteg said:

Somehow he kept his job, because evil never dies.

DW worked in the big corporate world.  She had a supporting role in the lab, but one that was a lynchpin in a lab of about 120 people.  Her most recent manager (in a revolving merry-go-round of managers) was a guy she had worked with / near for years, but never for.

He delegated every responsibility he could, and just flat didn't do the stuff he couldn't delegate.  Because of him she had missed out on at least one promotion.  One of those completely self-serving yet totally nonproductive employees that seem to anchor themselves into the nooks of the corporate world.   As you say, evil never dies.

At her annual review in September, she said flat out, "Unless you can make it worth my while to stay, I'm planning to retire at the end of this year."  The review ends and there are crickets from management for the next 2 months.  So on December 1st she went to HR to start the retirement paperwork.

On December 2nd the lab director asks her to please come to his office at her earliest convenience.  He's totally blindsided - had no idea this was coming.  Turns out that shiny happy manager hadn't even bothered to tell his boss, because reasons.  The lab director stammered around for a while and tried to appeal to her sense of duty - BERKING HAHAHAHAH TO THAT because they had no sense of duty to her at all - but won't promise anything.  So she says, "Sorry, like I said 2 months ago, I'm retiring on December 31st.  And I'm taking my 3 weeks of accumulated vacation, starting Monday."

I would love to have heard the following discussion between Lab Director and Shiny Happy Manager.  But a year later, he still works there.

So it a four minute notice. When I lost my E36 M3 at the GM dealer my service manager kinda tried to call my bluff so I sent a email to the Audi dealers service manager at 3:14 on a Saturday and he called me back at 3:18 and told me he had a job for me lol.

A good employer story.......I was working for a Canadian subsidiary of a large British chemical company. I was a 4th generation employee and really intended to work my entire career there, but the recession of 1982 reared its head and rumours of a layoff started circulating. I go to my boss and his boss to ask if I'm in any danger of being laid off. "We're not at liberty to tell you that."  I understand and thank them and stand up to leave. The senior boss tells me to sit back down and then says he can answer other questions though. So I thought for a second and asked..."I'm about to buy a new house. If you were me would you do it?"  He leans across the desk, looks me square in the eye and says "No! No way." Thank you very much....

So, I go back to the plant where they were seconding/hiding me and continue working, but knowing a lay-off was likely. A couple of months later I get a call from my boss.."Can you come back to Toronto Thursday instead of Friday and come into the office?"   Me:  "Sure. Pink slip day, Boss?" He then asks me not to make it any more difficult that it already was. He was a good guy.

I show up Friday, as requested, and was given my lay-off notice , as expected. They laid off 200 engineers that day. Then my bosses told me I was getting three months notice , followed by three months severance pay! They both asked me to stay for the notice period, even though they admitted many of the 200 were leaving immediately. I stayed and went to as many job interviews as I could. I had the bosses' secretary typing and mailing resumes and they all took me to lunch on my final day. All of this for an employee with six years of service.

It took me almost five months to find another job, but I always said I'd go back there in a heartbeat if the opportunity arose. I never did, but I got Christmas cards from those guys right up until they both passed away. That's how you treat employees right.

Edit: After that job I went to a major autoparts manufacturer, where I remained for 25 years. We were going through a series of layoffs and I was getting tired of the constant pressure to cut staff and operating costs. One day the leadership announces yet another layoff, but this time they'll take volunteers. I was 56 years old at the time, so I went and got the details from HR. I had planned on retiring at 60 anyway, so i thought I'd ask. The deal was generous. With 25 years service I was entitled to 24 months of severance ! I wore out multiple calculators over the next few weeks , and at 4:00PM on the final day of the window I walked into HR and signed the papers. Worked for the next two weeks and have been retired ever since. Work life has been pretty good to me.

I tried to have a good story but it just didn't work out. 
After 21 years I was considered a lifer, but I'd had enough. I'd already secured a job and a start date and decided I wasn't going to give any notice. My plan was to go in on the last day, announce that I was leaving and get the maintenance manager, an absolute weasel, out in the shop. I had a speech prepared and I was going to call him out for being the absolute piece of garbage that he was and embarrassing him in front of the whole shop at shift change. I would have been a hero. 
 

He booked that day off,  and berkeleyed me again. And when I tried to give notice, nobody believed me. It wasn't until I brought my truck in and started loading my tools up that they took me seriously. 

Graduated college, told bosses, got a congrats but nothing else.  "OK, you don't wanna take care of me, I will."  Went out and found a place that would pay me an engineer's salary instead of a draftsman.

Put in my two weeks, they scrambled.  I generally liked being there but couldn't deny the pay increase (near double)  they almost met the pay increase so I turned down the other place and stayed where I thought I liked it.

Fast forward a year and change, they realize "oh E36 M3, engineer pay means engineer pay" and eventually they decide to let me go.  No notice.  Walked in the day after payday, after driving 45 minutes and crossing $2.50 in tolls.  All my E36 M3 was already packed, so I got to drive 45 minutes back and pay another $2.50 in tolls

I was at big hose shop and new branch manager started to replace retiring BM so I figured I'd wait until after lunch to give my 2 weeks notice.  

They flip out and ask me to stay 3 weeks - I was coached by my recruiter to only say positive things and not give them a list of what is wrong.  I'm leaving for a better opportunity for me and my family.  

Three managers call me up to the CEO asking why and it made them nuts - it was a good tip cause they buy from my current hose place and spend a lot of cash.

I was at one company, an international engineering firm,  that promised me a bonus of 3 months pay for completion of a huge project I found out they made $100 million on.   

Oops, the Board of Directors decided they needed huge bonuses and needed to distribute the profits at all their locations that didn't make money that year.   

I started sending out resumes that day I found out.  Had a job within two hours. I put in two weeks notice and used all my vacation time I  had saved up.  At my exit interview HR was trying to get me to go negative.  Yeah, right, let's give them information they can possibly use to beat me with in the future.     I thanked the HR lady for helping me out at times and said I had an opportunity at a company with a project that interested me.    She had a very disappointed look on her face as I was walking out her office and I don't think it was because she would miss me.

In reply to jharry3 :

A persons nature is to lay it out there and tell them everything that is wrong with the company. Really bury that knife in your bosses gut and twist it around to inflict a lot of pain. 

1. they don't care
2. they aren't changing a thing
3. they see it that's it's all you 

In reply to Datsun240ZGuy :

That's always been my approach, only say positive things, thank them for the opportunity, and shake hands on the way out.  

It's amazing how small the world is, and how common it is to see people you know when joining a new company. Additionally, the number of informal discussions that take place with applicants and hiring managers based on who you know or where you work(ed) is eye opening. 

You may never even know about it, but if you work in an industry long enough there is a good chance you've had one of those conversations or been the subject of one  

I've only quit a few jobs

1. High school fast food - letter to owner of store laying out how the manager was treating me rather poorly (long story), owner asked me to come back, I passed.
2. College job at Sears selling appliances - straight told them that I had a difficult semester coming up and needed the time for my studies, left on good terms
3. First engineering job - I was a contractor, they paid peanuts, I got a position with who the contract serviced left on good terms, still work with people at that company. 
4. Government job - I've switched positions within due to promotions, but I'm still here.

My best was from a job I was starting just after the beginning of the year. I put in my notice two weeks before the holiday shutdown was to start, out of respect for my plant manager. My plan was to use the couple of extra days after the 1st to extend my holiday. But when they asked me to work any additional days I could before my new job started, I also happened to remember something I had originally overlooked. The company had just changed how their vacation accrual worked, and that by working even 1 day in the new year, I would also get paid out for an entire additional year of vacation... So I 'grudgingly' accepted. We weren't even particularly busy, so I mostly just sat around and chatted with my coworkers for two days to get that substantial 'severance bonus'.

The one time I was laid off, thanks 'great recession', I really couldn't fault the company for how they handled it. They gave us a bunch of support and resources, in addition to 3 months plus a week for each year of service severance.

I've got a couple:

-From HS and into college, I worked at a family-ownned grocery store with two locations in affluent Boston suburbs. Lots of BS went on while I was there, but some of my time there was fun. Toward the end, I found a job working for a car dealership part time in their parts department, and I split time between the two. That was in 2002. In February of 2002, my grandmother passed away, and I needed to take a few days off from the grocery store gig for the services. They said "nope, you can't have the time off", so I said, "Yes I do, because I quit" and walked out the door. Ended up picking up a couple more days at the dealer after the services. 4 years of working there, rising from a carriage boy to an assistant department manager, and I couldn't get my grandmother's wake and funeral off. Unreal. 

-Worked for a huge financial giant right after I graduated college. I held a number of positions there over about 10 years time. For the last 4 years, I worked as a "Class Actions Specialist". I interpreted class action law to file claims on behalf of clients and pay out disbursements when we were awarded them. There were about 10 of us in the 40k+ employee company that did this job on one team. After there was some interpersonal drama on the team, and 4 years of stagnant growth and empty promises (and no raises/bonuses!!!) I wanted out, and started looking internally for other jobs. Had a few really great interviews with mutual interest, and.... nothing.

I started digging, and my boss admitted that "my position in the company was locked" and I was not allowed to advance or transfer internally as long as I worked there. At that point I started looking outside the company, and landed a great job at a much smaller place. I gave my notice to my boss, but did not tell my coworkers (save for one friend on the team). The VP of the division comes running out of his office on the floor, and yells at me, "NO, YOU CAN'T LEAVE!!!". My cover was blown, the entire team stands up with "WTF, you're leaving???" written all over their faces. I then went into the VP office, where he threw all sorts of stuff at me to stay (money, vacation time, etc), and I refused all of it. It felt GREAT. Best decision I ever made. 
 

 I had a contract to haul mail over what the TV show calls the highway to hell. I did that route faithfully for 7 years, five nights a week through some really crappy winter weather. I never missed a day and I was only ever late when weather prevented me from being on time. One night I walked in to the office to pick up the paperwork for the load and was told this would be my last night. It was a really E36 M3ty night with heavy snow and I knew I was going to have to chain up and face 12 hours of crawling through the dark to get the load there and back. And I did it because that was the job but I wished afterwards that I had just taken that trailer to the nearest logging road, driven it in a few miles, dropped it and went home. No goodbye party for me. No one from that company ever contacted me again.

Not the worst, but it depends on how much you like Hugh Grant and Sandra Bullock.

Every new job I've had wants me to start the following week even though I say I want to give the old job 2 weeks. Maybe they see through me because my plan the last couple of times was to give 1 week's notice and take the following week off before starting the new job.

There I was.  I had applied and interviewed for a large aerospace company that was beginning maintenance operations in Hungary.  I kind of goofed the interview based off some misconceptions I had, so I wasn't really sure I was going to get it.

Meanwhile, I was working at 3rd party aerospace operation as a contractor where we were putting business and presidential type interiors in commercial aircraft (I was working a 737 that legit had a gigantic bar just aft of the cockpit, followed by a game room, and then a bedroom with an on suite bath.  The kicker?  The shower stall was also a sauna.  But I digress.

The owners of said company were reckless idiots (husband and wife combo who would later get divorced in very public cocaine fueled arguments) and had scheduled delivery for both of the aircraft in their two-aircraft hangar all at once.  This meant that when complete, all us contractors would get laid off.  We figured we had two options:

1) drag our feet, and stay employed but probably piss off our managers

2) work our butts off, get the job done, and hope our reputations helped us in the future

We opted for number 2.

One day I get a call on my cell.  "Hi, this is big aero in Hungary.  We're offering you more than double of what you've ever made before, and you'll be a direct hire.  Do you accept?"

dur....yep?

"Ok.  Then we need you in Washington State by Monday (I was in Texas).  We'll be in touch"

Crapbeans.  How could I give two weeks AND be in WA by monday?

Next day at work (Thursday):  "hey boss. I got bad news..."

Boss:  Let me stop you right there.  The contract is over, this is your last day.  Now what's your bad news?

"Um... I got a job with big aero in Hungary and cant give you two weeks notice?"

Boss:  Well I'd say that worked out well for both of us!   It's been a pleasure, man!

Not mine, but the legend who was Frank when I worked at Mustangs Unlimited. Frank just...didn't show up one Monday. Since he was the location manager, that was rather odd.

Calls went unanswered, no messages, he had just disappeared. His office was locked (as usual) so they hoisted one of the skinny warehouse guys up and over the office partition wall to unlock it.

Inside there was...nothing. The desk was cleared, the computer was wiped, and all the management paperwork was gone. Frank had spent DAYS grinning like a Cheshire cat feeding the shredder constantly. Nobody noticed, because the owner routinely had him shred stuff all the time (to use a packing material).

In that moment I realized that Frank's chipper attitude (and the best conversations I'd ever had with the man) leading up to that moment had been the joy of him putting his plan in motion.

I've left jobs before, but I've never seen such a scorched Earth departure as Frank's. I picture him driving his dually off into the sunset while a spaghetti western theme song played. Absolute mad lad.