The rambling thread. No set topic. Just whatever comes to mind after reading the previous post.

I like turtles

Turtles suck.

Interesting violent angry twist on this thread.

In reply to Giant Purple Snorklewacker:

That's called a chip seal. Basically gluing down a new surface of rock with asphalt binder. No rolling needed. Nobody wants to fund overlays these days...

Woody wrote: Turtles suck.

Which would be awesome except they also snap.

bgkast wrote: In reply to Giant Purple Snorklewacker: That's called a chip seal. Basically gluing down a new surface of rock with asphalt binder. No rolling needed. Nobody wants to fund overlays these days...

I'm so glad my AMA dues are going to fight helmet laws so pirates can remove themselves from the gene pool instead of toward things that could genuinely help me. Like a big berkeleying sign that says "We covered the whole road in oil and poured some rocks on it! Hahahaha!"

Speaking of which... half a turtle is as good a helmet as the law requires in PA. Actually, I'm kidding ... your own scalp is fine. But I need 47 airbags and seatbelt to drive my truck. Jaysus. Next post should be about lynching lobbyists.

I'd rather chip seal than club one. But I heard the Seal Club is rather exclusive.

When clubbing seals a wooden bat is preferable to an aluminum one as the wood doesn't damage the coat as much and actually distributes the impact across a slightly larger area as it compresses just a bit and distributes the blow a bit more. It's also more forgiving if you make contact with just the end of the bat, the vibrations of hitting something off the end far off the sweet spot can be brutal when it's cold. If there were ever a seal pup to make it to the big leagues playing baseball I suspect that they'd frequently be out due to concussion. In fact of I ever got a pet seal I'd name it Brian Roberts.

I think there is a joke about an ice cream eating penguin heading over to his car mechanic as he gets the diagnosis that "it looks like he blew a seal".

Datsun310Guy wrote: I think there is a joke about an ice cream eating penguin heading over to his car mechanic as he gets the diagnosis that "it looks like he blew a seal".

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSi-yCV-gQ4

Maybe rather than clubbing seals, we could have a season of clubbing lobbyists. Gallagher sized mallets are required, plastic is optional but recommended. It's still unclear whether they are contagious or not.

In the immortal words of Grube.

"Light Bulb!"

Take every zombie movie ever make, replace the zombies with congress, politicians and lobbyist and have a whole new series of blockbusters.

and more clubbing

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jFnqQbtHeDE

captdownshift wrote: When clubbing seals a wooden bat is preferable to an aluminum one as the wood doesn't damage the coat as much and actually distributes the impact across a slightly larger area as it compresses just a bit and distributes the blow a bit more. It's also more forgiving if you make contact with just the end of the bat, the vibrations of hitting something off the end far off the sweet spot can be brutal when it's cold. If there were ever a seal pup to make it to the big leagues playing baseball I suspect that they'd frequently be out due to concussion. In fact of I ever got a pet seal I'd name it Brian Roberts.

I'm not 100% sure a head shot would be fatal to a politician.

I really don't understand how "dance mix" is cooler than this, and it gets well deserved abuse:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4YH5MEyNuIM

The_Jed wrote: I'm not 100% sure a head shot would be fatal to a politician.

That's OK, it would give you an excuse to hit them twice.

True.

The_Jed wrote: I'm not 100% sure a head shot would be fatal to a politician.

He'd have to ask his lobbyists if it was fatal or not.

Giant Purple Snorklewacker wrote: Some of my favorite twistys are no better than an improved gravel road now.

I just had a bowl of Grape-Nuts for breakfast. Mmmmm...good stuff.

Tim's mom has for years made up her own German muesli, a 4-wheel-drive breakfast granola we call "colon blow" because it is actually kind of dangerous to non-Germans.

Margie

@ Woody:

The never ending bowl!

Germans have an extra muscle in their colon.

I freaked out a friend when I mentioned that I had an entire box of Grape-Nuts for breakfast. "Well, the boxes are so small..."

"THAT STUFF EXPANDS IN YOUR STOMACH!"

"But the boxes are so small..."

Fifteen years later, a different friend bought a case of Tentacle Grape soda. It doesn't taste as good as Grape-Nuts.