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SVreX
SVreX MegaDork
1/7/16 8:35 p.m.

How about a bit of poetic dating guidance from a Dad?

Jesse Parent

Datsun310Guy
Datsun310Guy PowerDork
1/7/16 9:11 p.m.

I heard this from a guy on a Christian radio station (he said it happened to him).

A girl was waiting for her first date with a new guy so the dad says he was puttering in the garage hanging out waiting so he could be the first to meet this young man. Finally he rolled up and came up the driveway.

He went out and met the young man and shook his hand never letting go as he told him three things about dating his daughter. He told him:

  1. You need to treat her with respect and never hurt her. I don't ever want to hear you hurt her.

  2. You need to have her home on time. Bringing her home late is not acceptable.

  3. If your car is leaking oil you need to move it off my driveway right now and park it in the street.

ultraclyde
ultraclyde UltraDork
1/8/16 6:55 a.m.

I had a female friend in High school who's dad was the head of detectives for the city we lived in. He collected Japanese swords. First date protocol was that she would wait in her room until he'd had a chat with the suitor and shown him his sword collection, including a demonstration of how sharp some of them were. Then she could go out.

She hated it. None of the guys would touch her!

foxtrapper
foxtrapper UltimaDork
1/8/16 7:11 a.m.

Not bad. Thought it was going to be a rehashing of the 10 Rules For Dating My Daughter. Pleasantly surprised it was not.

GameboyRMH
GameboyRMH GRM+ Memberand MegaDork
1/8/16 7:16 a.m.

My parents always wanted me to date one of my sister's friends. Her dad is an ultra-strict, pretty intense character...his reputation alone was enough for me to put her on the no-go list. So this stuff can work

On the downside, same girl is a depressed loner these days...maybe it worked too well.

KyAllroad
KyAllroad SuperDork
1/8/16 7:29 a.m.
Klayfish
Klayfish UltraDork
1/8/16 7:37 a.m.

I'm not going to click on the YouTube link because I'm at work and I never know what I'll see when I click on links here However, my daughter is 8, and I can't even begin to think of her dating. My wife is going to need to grab control of me real quick... And yes, I want my daughter to be happy, which would include marriage. And yes, I dated and married someone's daughter, so it's hypocritical. But it still won't be easy.

Hungary Bill
Hungary Bill GRM+ Memberand UltraDork
1/8/16 8:12 a.m.

To the girls who may one day date my son...

petegossett
petegossett GRM+ Memberand PowerDork
1/8/16 8:16 a.m.

My daughter was overly worried I would no something outlandish when her boyfriend came over for their first date. I looked at her and said "I don't need to do that, because we raised you to be a strong person who can take care of herself. If he ever pulls any stunts, he's going to have to deal with YOU long before he'll ever have to deal with me."

The combined sigh of relief, and fire in her eyes, was priceless.

SVreX
SVreX MegaDork
1/8/16 8:18 a.m.

In reply to Klayfish:

It's a poetry slam, so at some level it wouldn't be harmful at work, but I wouldn't do it. It's straight forward "guy stuff" that is worth the listen, but might not be appreciated at work.

Appleseed
Appleseed MegaDork
1/8/16 8:29 a.m.

"To the girls the want to date my daughter: my wife is a better shot than I am."

Joe Gearin
Joe Gearin Associate Publisher
1/8/16 10:11 a.m.

A very close friend of mine has 5 kids--- four girls and a boy. His daughters range from 20 to 14 currently. (yes, his life is pure Hell! )

He always said when his kids were old enough to date, he'd sit the boyfriend down and tell him this.....

"Hey buddy, I was your age once, and I know what you are after.... and it's ok. You kids are going to do what you are going to do anyways, so go ahead, have sex, have fun....but remember one thing. Just keep in mind that in our family.......if you have sex with my daughter.....I have sex with YOU!"

He never actually did this.....as these days he'd probably be arrested for even saying it. I always thought it was brilliant. To be fair, he's been a hero-Dad. Seriously, he should write a book on raising children.

slefain
slefain UberDork
1/8/16 11:02 a.m.

I have two boys (6 and 3) and a newborn daughter. I'm not looking forward to putting the fear of God into some young guy, but I will if necessary. I was a teenage boy, so at least I understand the enemy.

Brian
Brian MegaDork
1/8/16 11:16 a.m.

Not bad. I've seen macho dad BS go both ways. I've never dealt first hand. My inlaws loved me from day 1. MIL is the alpha, FIL is a classic sitcom idiot dad, and my wife is strong enough to take care of herself.

RealMiniParker
RealMiniParker UltraDork
1/8/16 11:25 a.m.

When my oldest was 16, she wanted to date a boy that was 18. Her mother and I (we were divorced by this time) wanted to meet him, before we'd allow it.

This was around the time when "10 Rules" was floating around and the show with John Ritter was on TV, I think. 2008, for sure. Of course, I was going to be obnoxious.

The day came, to meet him, and it was brief, as daughter had to work that afternoon. While I was taking her to work, they were texting back and forth. "Your dad is scary." "Good."

They dated off and on for the next few years, but got real serious a couple years ago, and moved in together.

He worked for me, for a while, in a machine shop. I had always told him, "I have a pickup truck, a shovel, and an alibi." However, the truck was in pieces. When I finally got a driver of a truck, one morning I picked up a shovel, grabbed him by the wrist, and stated, "YOU'RE COMING WITH ME!" and told my coworker, "Keith, I've been here all day. Shaun never showed up." Shaun admitted to coming very close to E36 M3ting himself, as unbeknownst to me, the night before, he and my daughter had a fight.

All in all, he's a great guy, and I love him.

They got married in October, and are currently on their honeymoon.

Joe Gearin
Joe Gearin Associate Publisher
1/8/16 11:29 a.m.

So my buddy (with the 4 daughters) gets a call from his wife one evening, while he's working at his shop......

Wife--"come home...... Reilly's boyfriend's car has a flat in front of our house"

Him---"so, have the kid change the tire..."

Wife---"he doesn't know how.....get your ass home and help him"

So my buddy arrives at the house where the boyfriends hapless Dad is already there, attempting to change the tire. He obviously doesn't know what he's doing, so my pal takes over. Meanwhile the kid is just sitting there....not offering to help.

The next weekend the kid comes over to pick the daughter up. My buddy says to the kid..

"so you know how to change a tire now right?"------ blank deer in headlights stare-----

kid---"umm.... I think so.... I saw you do it last week"

my buddy----" so if I have you change it right now in front of me, you could do it.... right?" ------ another blank stare

buddy--" so even though you had a flat last week and didn't learn how to fix it, you expect me to allow my daughter to go out with you again tonight....knowing you won't know what to do if it happens again?!"

Now the daughter is getting mad and pulling the "DAD!" routine

buddy---"Ok, you can go tonight, but you come over here after school on Monday, and I'm going to sit here and watch you change a tire"

His daughter broke up with the kid that weekend. Turns out she didn't want a hapless kid as a boyfriend.

Sometimes it just takes a little good parenting to wake a kid up.

dropstep
dropstep HalfDork
1/8/16 11:53 a.m.

I have twin boys so i feel lucky but there mom on the otherhand isnt a big fan of them ever being allowed too date. My father in law told me back when i started dating my wife that he wasnt real happy (my family was working class poor and there fairly well off) but i should never hurt her bacause he would have too shoot me. He admitted the only way he was going to get near an angry me was with a gun.

After 10 years together were still happy and my father in law and his family all love me. Might be just the discounted mechanical work.

Brokeback
Brokeback Reader
1/8/16 12:07 p.m.
petegossett wrote: My daughter was overly worried I would no something outlandish when her boyfriend came over for their first date. I looked at her and said "I don't need to do that, because we raised you to be a strong person who can take care of herself. If he ever pulls any stunts, he's going to have to deal with *YOU* long before he'll ever have to deal with me." The combined sigh of relief, and fire in her eyes, was priceless.

I think this - raising your kids (son/daughter, doesn't matter!) right - is more important than trying to scare the E36 M3 out of their date.

slefain
slefain UberDork
1/8/16 12:11 p.m.

wlkelley3
wlkelley3 SuperDork
1/8/16 12:19 p.m.

When my oldest daughter started dating, it was required that they come to the door and pick her up. Most were afraid of me and called me scary and mean looking. The smart one were even afraid of SWMBO. Imagine a 5-ft even little Asian woman demanding certain rules and get in your face poking a finger in your chest while saying the rules. They were right to be more scared of mom than dad, she's a tough lady and had a hard life before marrying me. Felt sorry for one boy though. He picked my daughter up for prom and he was visibly shaking. Our 70 lab-mix started running to him and I commanded the dog to stop & sit. The boy almost sat down on the floor. It was all I could do to not laugh aloud.

Now when my youngest daughter started dating, she tried bringing the boys to the front door rather than through the garage. Most were car guys and wanted to know more about my toys. Still friends with one of her ex-boyfriends. He helped me put the engine in my Opel GT. He even changed a flat tire for me on my car during my oldest daughter's wedding rehearsal dinner as I was dressed up and had father of the bride duties to do.

edizzle89
edizzle89 HalfDork
1/8/16 12:54 p.m.
Joe Gearin wrote: He always said when his kids were old enough to date, he'd sit the boyfriend down and tell him this..... "Hey buddy, I was your age once, and I know what you are after.... and it's ok. You kids are going to do what you are going to do anyways, so go ahead, have sex, have fun....but remember one thing. Just keep in mind that in our family.......if you have sex with my daughter.....I have sex with YOU!"

I think the line to use now-a-days is "anything you do to my daughter, I do to you"

Duke
Duke MegaDork
1/8/16 3:42 p.m.

I have a friend who has a boy about the same age as DD#1. When they were younger, he said "I feel sorry for you - I only have to worry about one little prick. You have to worry about ALL of them..."

kazoospec
kazoospec SuperDork
1/8/16 7:28 p.m.

My dad was pretty much a "Stage Boss" at this stuff. When my BIL first met my dad, he was edging home-made arrowheads on a wet stone. When he asked for her hand, my dad was putting an edge on a home-made tomahawk with a file. My BIL is a brave man.

pinchvalve
pinchvalve GRM+ Memberand MegaDork
1/8/16 7:45 p.m.

Stefan (Not Bruce)
Stefan (Not Bruce) GRM+ Memberand MegaDork
1/8/16 10:49 p.m.

Just found out that thread is relevant to my future.

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