DarkMonohue said:
Bill, please let me know if you need any OEM Toyota parts to keep the 4Runner happy. I have a wholesale connection at the local dealership and am happy to do whatever ground work needs doing to keep this operation operational.
I swear the truck works 
Actually, I might be hitting you up for a few pieces eventually. My highbeams come on randomly and I think it's the high-beam relay that's doing it (or the multifunction switch, but I think that's a distant second chance).
But speaking of parts, this post is for you:
So loaded up with food, baby gear, and clothes for the Budapest shelters and the night before I get a call "we need you in the office by 1330 tomorrow".
Yikes, that means I gotta get out the door early, drop off quick, and floor it all the way back home if I'm going to make it. The timer officially starts at 7am and we are FULL to the roof with stuff:
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Unfortunately, the front seat had to be reorganized as the youngest Hungarling was going to ditch pre-school and accompany me for this trip (we had an awesome time. There was McDonalds and everything)
Anyhoo, we're loaded, we're pointed east, and we are truckin! But I can't shake the feeling that something's not right. I've driven enough oil leaking vehicles to recognize when the view in my mirrors looks a little "blue" and a little "hazy". Except normally if the leak is bad enough I can usually catch "puffs" or small moments of clarity between emissions. I'm not getting that with this one.
Instead I keep catching signs of oil burning in my peripherials, but when I stare directly into the mirror (on a pothole ridden, 2-lane paved dirt road with oncomming traffic) I REALLy can't tell if I have a problem or not...
I got a few tricks up my sleeves though. First, when there's no traffic I slow way down. Still no visible smoke.
Ok, romp on it. REALLY rev the engine through the gears. Still no smoke coming out the exhaust.
But dang it. I would SWEAR that the world has that hazy blue view to it from my side view mirrors... and then it happens. I get passed by a van.
Now, Hungarians don't hold back. They get RIGHT up on your bumper before they pass. Except not this guy. He started out on my bumper (that's normal enough). Then he dropped way back (weird, did he decide not to pass?). He was at least two car lengths back before he ran back up and went around.
That's not normal.
Going back to me driving enough oil leakers that I can tell when I have a problem? Yeah. This is how people pass my oil leakers when things are REALLY bad. And to drive the point home, another van does the same thing...
I pull over
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and it is everywhere.
I tell the youngest that our trip is over and he's super bummed. I take a good look at the leak and think it's my oil pump o-ring I mentioned (it takes a LOT to have this high of a leak rate) but the leak path doesn't follow. Instead it leads to the top-back of my engine.
Rear main?
Nope. Valve cover seal, looks like. (insert cold chill).
In the picture below, you'll notice a black seal that looks like a "half moon" on the front of my valve cover:
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There's a second one the back side, and a quick check with my hand tells me it is completely missing. 
There's no question really. I was just in there torquing my heads, and I'm 100% sure I checked that dang thing but I must have bumped it out of the way when I reinstalled my valve cover.
Bummer.
I'm two liters low at this point (I can tell because the dip stick is dry) but I still had two liters of oil in the truck that I bought in Poland on my last trip. I top it up, and I'm just off the full line so I briefly ponder about trying to make a run back to my driveway. But then I decide a tow truck might be better... Then I start thinking about what I'm hauling and wonder if I couldn't fab a patch... The donations would be off limits, but maybe I can take off a sock, wad it up, and zip tie it in place. That would certainly slow things down, wouldn't it?
As I'm filling up with the second liter of oil, something on the transmission bellhousing catches my eye:
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One blister burn on the back of my hand later, and I've got the seal!!!!!
Oh, there's nothing for it now! We're pressing on!
I dig around behind my driver's seat and I find the lineman pliers still in there from my Lviv trip (insert devil horns here). At this point I would like to thank my broke ass parents, and just about every year of my money-less independent life between the ages of 19 and about 30. The education I got from then, is exactly why I'll succeed now. Here goes:
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(pay attention kid. This is how you fix somethin when you got nothin)
Luckily everything came apart easily enough. I didn't break any of the vacuum lines, or strip out any of the nuts (they're a bit uglier now, from a bit of slippage). Got the seal set back in place, and got it all back together.
We stopped a bit later to buy two more liters of oil from the gas station, and everything was still rock solid.
15 minutes after that, we checked again. Good to go. And a good thing too! Because Pastor Kovacs's donation table was completely empty 
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not any more! 
I'll have to make another trip soon to keep this guy stocked. Can't have him visiting shelters and not bringing anything.