Vuvuzelas

Osterkraut wrote:

96DXCivic wrote: It requires more fitness then any of the other sports as you have to run for 90 minutes.

I dunno, I watched a game and they were standing around for some reason or another about every 5 minutes, it seemed.

The average midfielder runs around 10 miles in a game. As far as the whole flopping thing, I don't watch football for that but having played striker for a number of years I still enjoy a good flop and the opportunity that one sets up so I will continue to defend it.

^ Is that why they need the orange slices and Capri Sun at halftime?

Who has orange slices and Capri Sun? The only people I have seen do that is baseball players.

When I first started watching soccer at the pub I used to frequent (and now work for - let's hear it for hanging out in bars!), I could barely watch it without getting my blood pressure up. The flopping drove me batty. Now I watch it just to laugh at the euro pansies falling on the ground and crying.

I also like to imagine what the floppers are like in their daily lives when they're not playing soccer. Walking down the street, somebody bumps into them and they're on the ground writhing in pain as if they had been shot, while the person who brushed them looks on in stunned confusion. Repeat in a grocery store aisle, or a crowded bar trying to get a drink...

Back on topic:

I find this whole vuvuzela thing, and all the surrounding satire/humor it has stirred up on the web, deeply hilarious. There's something inherent in a seemingly spontaneous desire on the part of tens of thousands of people to engage in an incredibly disruptive and annoying act that makes me laugh my ass off at the mere mention of it. Whoulda thunk that 1/2¢ of plastic shaped into a cone and blown into could cause such a furor? It's free jazz/noise music for the masses, and it's fantastic.

I think I need one. Actually, I need like 50, and people to play them with me in entirely inappropriate situations.

96DXCivic wrote:

Osterkraut wrote:

96DXCivic wrote: It requires more fitness then any of the other sports as you have to run for 90 minutes.

I dunno, I watched a game and they were standing around for some reason or another about every 5 minutes, it seemed.

The average midfielder runs around 10 miles in a game. As far as the whole flopping thing, I don't watch football for that but having played striker for a number of years I still enjoy a good flop and the opportunity that one sets up so I will continue to defend it.

About 20 seconds of googling produced...

"This guy from "the old country" said 10 miles. So I divided 10 miles by 90 minutes. To cover 10 miles would require a constant running pace of almost seven miles per hour and I knew intuitively that 10 miles couldn't be correct. "

"Recording every change of speed and direction showed that there was some change in activity every 5-6 seconds. Subsequent work and maturation of the game has pushed this total distance up to around 10,000 meters for a men's professional European game with the South American game being contested at a little less total running distance.

Midfielders run the most, central strikers and defenders the least. Don't brag too much about the running volume--10,000 meters (six miles) in 90 minutes is four miles per hour, something a good power walker can do. "

Power walking is the ultimate sport!

Source: http://www.active.com/soccer/Articles/How_far_do_you_run_during_a_soccer_game_.htm

In reply to Osterkraut:

How far does an American football player, a basketball player or a baseball player run? The difference is a power walker is doing that at a constant pace. A midfielder does that by pretty much all sprinting. I have played basketball and American football. Futball takes much more physical fitness then either of those sports.

alex wrote: Back on topic: I find this whole vuvuzela thing, and all the surrounding satire/humor it has stirred up on the web, deeply hilarious. There's something inherent in a seemingly spontaneous desire on the part of tens of thousands of people to engage in an incredibly disruptive and annoying act that makes me laugh my ass off at the mere mention of it. Whoulda thunk that 1/2¢ of plastic shaped into a cone and blown into could cause such a furor? It's free jazz/noise music for the masses, and it's fantastic. I think I need one. Actually, I need like 50, and people to play them with me in entirely inappropriate situations.

I think you need to open up a cart down on the landing and sell them for a dollar. Until the owners of the bars pool together enough money to have you killed, anyway.

96DXCivic wrote: In reply to Osterkraut: How far does an American football player, a basketball player or a baseball player run? The difference is a power walker is doing that at a constant pace. A midfielder does that by pretty much all sprinting. I have played basketball and American football. Futball takes much more physical fitness then either of those sports.

I dunno. I just know you claimed football/soccer/futball players run 10 miles a game, and that wasn't right. And who made running the end all test of physical fitness? Isn't Lance Armstrong claimed to be the fittest man alive? And he doesn't run at all during his sport! Well actually Guinness says one Joe Decker is the fittest man in the world, a feat he accomplished by playing not one single game of soccer!

BBBBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Ok I'll give bicycle racing, marathon running etc (basically sports were the only objective is to beat the other person in a flat out race). I remember during the champion's league final the average running distance of the team was around 10 or 11 km that was for the whole team not the midfielders so maybe it isn't 10 miles however that does not change the fact that most of that is done at a sprint. Also players have to have to be strong enough in the upper body to over power defenders or strikers and able to take powerful shots. A player also has to be nimble. Plus futbol players get the hottest women

Would Nelson Mandela like Vuvuzelas?

I think all you guys can just go sucBBBBBBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Grassroots vuvuzelas. http://arthurhinty.com/

Is this the room for an argument?

they don't bother me at all.

alex wrote: I think I need one. Actually, I need like 50, and people to play them with me in entirely inappropriate situations.

LOL.

96DXCivic wrote: Soccer is the purest sport (except racing). It requires intellegence unlike football where you just memorize plays. There is contact unlike basketball or baseball. It requires more fitness then any of the other sports as you have to run for 90 minutes. I mean have you seen the size of the linemen in football. The only sport which comes close is hockey.

um...i'm sure every soccer player is Descartes in cleats (i'm willing to believe Beckham has a simply fearsome intellect), but if you think football doesn't require intelligence, you don't know much about football. that would be like me saying that "soccer just requires kicking a ball to someone else."

and "fitness" can be measured by more than just endurance..it depends on the context. a guy who can run 40 yards in under 5 seconds and bench press 600 lbs is pretty fit in my book, no matter what the scale says. if your job is to keep a 300lb guy from getting past you by exterting maximum physical effort for 10-20 second 50 times a game, you'd better be pretty fit even if your body doesn't match the popular version of what "fitness" looks like. i know more than one marathoner who looks like they spend most of their time on the sofa, and heavy smokers who look like marathoners.

96DXCivic wrote: What is everyone who has been watching the World Cup opinions on them? In my personal opinion they are ruining a big part of it. You can't hear the singing and chants of the fans. There is basically just buzzing the entire time.

Ahhh, THANK YOU for letting me figure out why the hell every intar-web famous image suddenly has cheap plastic horns 'shopped in. I mean I had a few of the things 40 years ago when I was a kid but I certainly couldn't see constructing a meme around them.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7B2LPxggvqY

cracked me up

I'd love one of those things, but not for watching sports. I would hang it out of the window as I drive. 120-something decibels? Yeah Mr. book-reading, hair-combing, latte-sipping guy with two eye patches, keep drifting into my lane. I'll even stick the other end of the Vuvuvuzelasav in your freakin' window if I'm close enough.

alex wrote: I think I need one. Actually, I need like 50, and people to play them with me in entirely inappropriate situations.

Surely you guys realize that they are coming to American sports as we speak. It's a done deal.

Coming? I thought cheap plastic horns had been available for years. We just didn't have a cool name for them before.

For those complaining about diving, I agree. I am an avid soccer fan but can only watch the English Premier League. It is a very physically demanding league and much less tolerating of diving. Its the Spanish, Portugese and Italians that you have to look out for...bunch of vaginas they are...

http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s6i77021

Vuvuzela Stuck In Man's Arse

Doctors rush to insert the vuvuzela further up the man's arse

Medical staff have told how a man was admitted to a Johannesburg hospital this morning with a vuvuzela protruding out of his arse.

The local man, who had been blowing his 'horn' at the South Africa v. Uruguay game, had, apparently, been attacked by a group of high-spirited Uruguayans who were out celebrating their team's 3-0 victory.

One doctor at the Daktari Medical Centre said:

"It's the first time we've seen this kind of injury, but as the World Cup gets into its later stages, I'm sure we'll be seeing many more."

A nurse treating the injured man told us:

"I don't like vuvuzelas. If it weren't for the fact that my job is a nurse, and that I am here to help people in severe distress, and to save lives, I'd have shoved the berkeleying thing up his arse myself!"

Make Monkey Woods's day - rate this story with the stars, they're just down there!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious

But completely plausible.

I heard that if you're listening in 5.1 surround, drop all but the center channel, to lessen the vuvu noise.

It seems like turning the TV off doesn't even make it stop.