What is your useless superpower?

My useless superpower is the ability to stab a distributor in wrong, even if the my marks line up and I didn't move the engine.  Every. Single. Time.

I also have the uncanny ability to forget which is a bigger bolt, 3/8 or 7/16, unless they are in my hands.  

What are your useless superpowers?

My Super Hero Name is "Purveyor Of Flatulence."  Fear my Thunder.

Purveyor of useless knowledge about things no one cares about.

In reply to bobzilla :

I enjoy reading your "Korean Gospel according to Bob."  

Fittings. I can go from any thread to any thread, in my head. I once built a twin nozzle flamethrower adapter out of garden hose parts and a propane regulator just to prove it could be done. I have no idea why I can do it. 

I can (and unfortunately do) turn anything into a project. Like oil change to full restoration in two hours.

I grow hair. Shaving is like painting the Golden Gate Bridge, by the time I make it from one end to the other, I have to go back to the beginning and start over again.

I can pick out the ceiling tile with ductwork/sprinkler pipe/name your obstruction  on top of the tile rendering it unmovable when needing to look up above said ceiling. Usually by the 2nd or 3rd try I can find one that is removable.  9 times out of 10.

The ability to ignore a small problem until it becomes a big problem, then complain that it's such a big problem.

Threadkiller, but it's not 100% foolproof.

I am an exceptional procrastinator, but not right away. 

If I buy a cool car, it will be the one year that nobody wants and has zero parts availability.

That dash trim you need to finish the interior? Yeah, they don't make it for your year. If you had the year before or the year after we could help you.

Yeah, that performance brake kit that makes everything better? Sorry, it won't fit your car unless you change all the suspension components and rear end to the next model year. 

Other than that, my friends call me the Encyclopedic shiny happy person. 

I can spot when the person who put up a changeable letter sign has the "S" or the"K" upside down or used a "W" for an "M" and vice verse. Also, a zero for an "O" and don't get me started on the numbers 6,8,9

bobzilla said:

Purveyor of useless knowledge about things no one cares about.

Oh, definitely. We could start a club. 

Identifying threads and pitches by sight.  I can tell the difference between a 3/8-16 bolt and a M8X1.25 from 4 paces.  I have had people from several yards away hold up a fastener and call my name and at a glance I can tell them if it is 1/4-28 or M6X1. From #8 & 3mm to 3/4" and 19mm.  NPT too.

I will admit BSF and BSC confuse me for a bit but contextual clues play a big part.

In reply to Crxpilot :

I thought I was the only one that killed Threads.

In reply to 68TR250 :

You two don't kill threads. It's just you're comments are just so good that there is nothing left to say.

My useless superpower is to have overhead lights on the freeway go out as I travel under them.  

Never fails as I travel at night, one of these overhead lights at every intersection WILL go out.  It's weird.

I can randomly throw open any phone book and it will arrive at the bail bondsmen section.

Well, ok....

I can see the order in which your three brake lights come on. Traffic lights too - they are not simultaneous.

I ruin movies by identifying vehicles. Out loud. Especially when there is an incongruity. Looking at you Wesley Snipes in Passenger 57.

One liners

I can see the flicker generated by cheap LED christmas lights.

I can always arrange the dishwasher more efficiently than anyone else in my house

I can identify neighbors boats by sound before seeing them, my wife thinks I’m weird.   I can also identify the manufacturer of large chillers by sound before opening the door to mechanical rooms I’ve never been in.  Maybe I am weird.