What would GRM do? Job offered

I don't know if any of you guys are aware of what I've been doing the last couple of years, if you don't, I'll give you a recap:

I had been working for a local Porsche race prep shop, south of Fort Worth, for the last couple of years. In that time, I had won a couple of PCA Championships as a car chief and was the car chief for Jeff Mosing, who won the 2015 IMSA GT3 Challenge in the Gold Category.

I, was then, offered a job with Gainsco/Bob Stallings to work on their McLaren 650S GT3 World Challenge car. During that time, I found out my Wife and I are expecting a daughter. During the 2016 season, I came to find out that the Team Manager didn't quite see eye-to-eye and it was in my best interest to find a job before season's end so I wouldn't be jobless.

I am now a Service Writer at Jaguar and I cannot stand this job. The reasoning for taking this job was that I could be home during the year to help with the baby, I could have benefits that would help our family, and the pay is decent. I don't want to miss out on the baby's firsts: step, tooth, words, ect.

I have been made aware that the Porsche Team is desperate to hire me back. They currently have one full time person there who doesn't really know a whole lot about racing. I had just texted a buddy of mine who works as the accounts payable and social media person that I do show interest in coming back.

So what do I do? If I do go back, it's back to a job that I'm not stressed out everyday over, yet I'd be gone 24-26 race weekends out of the year. Another point/counter point is the job at Jaguar offers Medical/Dental were as the Porsche shop probably still doesn't.

The bill for kid #2's birth was over $28,000. That's just the birth. There's all the pre-natal appointments and then the stuff afterwords, too.

Basically, you want medical. Maybe you can negotiate it with Porsche?

Job satisfaction vs health care and being there. Unless it makes you so miserable that you are taking it home, stick with Jaaaaaag

Javelin wrote: Basically, you want medical. Maybe you can negotiate it with Porsche?

+1

Go Porsche if they can provide health insurance. Jaaaag if they can't. Basically, what provides the best health for your family. I'd guess the mental health will outweigh being away weekends, but not lack of insurance.

I assume the wife is staying at home, preventing her from working a job that might offer benefits, correct?

I'm gonna be the dissenter. I'd rather be happy and broke than wanting to kill myself every day and have a bit more cash. I went through the same crisis with mine a number of years ago. I ended up working more, for less, to be happier and just making damn sure I did what I could when I was home.

What does Dutchess of Understeer have to say? Her opinion weighs more than a bunch of gearheads', combined.

EDIT: Then again, she probably knew what your lifestyle was, going into the relationship.

RealMiniParker wrote: What does Dutchess of Understeer have to say? Her opinion weighs more than a bunch of gearheads', combined.

Duchess of Understeer has spoken. I am staying put.

Because Porsche wants you back (and you were successful there), you are negotiating from a position of strength.

Negotiate:
1. Either employer provided health/dental insurance... OR 2. High enough pay rate that YOU can go and get those insurances, and pay the premiums out of pocket.

REMEMBER in the last several years the health care laws have changed. If the employer does not offer health care insurance, there are subsidies now that MIGHT help lower the cost of getting them on the open market.

It's all about the baby at this point.

DukeOfUndersteer wrote:

RealMiniParker wrote: What does Dutchess of Understeer have to say? Her opinion weighs more than a bunch of gearheads', combined.

Duchess of Understeer has spoken. I am staying put.

That's the opinion that counts;)

You go to Porsche provided they either pay for benefits or compensate you on top of the salary to obtain your own.

If you are home during the week and gone on the weekends - you would be home more than you would be away at a desk job. Wives of soldiers, rock stars and software consultants manage to cope. It will be fine.

In reply to tuna55:

Yes

I'd look for something else local (with benefits), that you'll enjoy.

DukeOfUndersteer wrote:

RealMiniParker wrote: What does Dutchess of Understeer have to say? Her opinion weighs more than a bunch of gearheads', combined.

Duchess of Understeer has spoken. I am staying put.

I'm going to urge you to reconsider - it's apparent that not only is being a part of this team your passion, you're also damn good at it or they wouldn't want you back. While I completely understand why you would chose to stay at Jaguar in an attempt to be a better father/husband, if you're unhappy now you'll only grow more unhappy over time.

I'm 100% confident that you can find a way to make this work if it's something you and your spouse both agree on. I gave up 7-years of my life attempting to be a good partner/husband/father, only to realize how much of a mistake it was later(Hint: 1-sided relationships really don't work very well).

Also - if you're a good father, your kid(s) will love you even if you aren't physically present every day.

The mental health part is important for you and for your child, though medical ins is also very important. See if the Porsche team will offer ins, if they will go there.

NEALSMO wrote:

DukeOfUndersteer wrote:

RealMiniParker wrote: What does Dutchess of Understeer have to say? Her opinion weighs more than a bunch of gearheads', combined.

Duchess of Understeer has spoken. I am staying put.

That's the opinion that counts;)

Only if you want someone to blame for your regrets later. Like the automatic transmission that decides what gear you should be in... Hopes and dreams go in, crushing disappointment comes out.

petegossett wrote:

DukeOfUndersteer wrote:

RealMiniParker wrote: What does Dutchess of Understeer have to say? Her opinion weighs more than a bunch of gearheads', combined.

Duchess of Understeer has spoken. I am staying put.

I'm going to urge you to reconsider - it's apparent that not only is being a part of this team your passion, you're also *damn good at it* or they wouldn't want you back. While I completely understand why you would chose to stay at Jaguar in an attempt to be a better father/husband, if you're unhappy now you'll only grow more unhappy over time. I'm 100% confident that you can find a way to make this work *if it's something you and your spouse both agree on*. I gave up 7-years of my life attempting to be a good partner/husband/father, only to realize how much of a mistake it was later(Hint: 1-sided relationships really don't work very well). Also - if you're a good father, your kid(s) will love you even if you aren't physically present every day.

Truer words have never been spoken.

Any chance you could negotiate to work out a timeline where you travel initially to get the other full time guy up to snuff, and then handle the in house work with occasional travel?

If you can negotiate to reduce the travel while getting enough of a salary bump to cover the insurance you could find a nice work-life balance and be much happier.

I'm going to jump into the 'take the porsche job' camp.

I know from experience that I am a much better father when I am not pissed about work all the time. And I just quit a job that made me really unhappy even though it was work from home.

tuna55 wrote: It's all about the baby at this point.

I know the decision has been made in this direction, but Tuna was right in this comment. It's not that you wallow in misery for others, but more that you voluntarily fall down the list a couple of notches for 18 years or so.

No medical? No thanks.

I'll abstain from commenting about the being away from home part--but to me, the no medical supersedes anything else.

Medical costs are insane. They're not going to get any cheaper. I'm with the guys prioritizing medical coverage over other things.

If you're not happy with the current job, you can always look for others. You don't have to choose between the Race job and the job you don't like. You can choose to keep your 'safe' job while you look for a job that fits with your new family's needs and also comes with some fun.

From personal experience, when I was first married twelve years ago I was in a mad dash to make more money because we wanted to have children. Somehow it happened, and I've been in the same job since. And I hate it. So much so that I recently applied for a different job that pays less per year, and the chances are slim that I will get it. (Same benefits though). But I sure hope I do get it. I'm just not the kind of person that can settle into a blah position and simply put time in until I retire, like so many of my coworkers.

So back then I took a job I felt I had to take for the money, and I've been paying for it ever since.

It's really a difficult equation to solve, and I by no means have figured it out yet.

Is there a way the mrs. and baby can travel with you sometimes?

I'm completely the wrong guy to chime in here, but that won't stop me from offering an opinion anyhow.

If your job is so awful that it affects your mental health, it will affect your family, and in a very bad way.

What good is it having Daddy around when he's a grumpy git all the time?