Why are we all so angry lately?

11GTCS said:

I could technically retire later this year but I think I’d go stir crazy and selfishly I’d really like to do the teaching that I was promised before this all started.   

Hey! Hang on till you get the opportunity to teach. Passing on what you know (whatever it is) is one of life's better moments. For you and the student...even if they don't appreciate it at the time.

I constantly have to remind myself that A.) I'm out of practice interacting with people and B.) E36 M3 is still pretty wild right now as far as the pandemic, supply chain, employment etc. goes. A little grace won't hurt anybody after 2 years of trauma. 

I am going just going to say despite the stuff happening I feel lucky to be alive now. We live longer, have more opportunities to pursue hobbies and live in more comfort then any other time in history. We live in a time of realitive peace compared to any other time in our history.

At the end of the day media knows bad news sells and so they push it. Same with social media. Block and minimize that E36 M3  and look at the overall picture. That has been the single best change I have made for my happiness in the last year.

I've been angry for years.

Anger is the motivation for change. Anger is seeing how things are, then realizing they're not what you expected. Anger should have a goal. Anger should provide the motivation to change things for what you think it better. Otherwise, it can fester inside you and make you hostile and bitter.

Hostility and bitterness are different from anger, and I think they may be what the OP was really asking about. 
 

I'm not angry, damn it.

Because the mouse keeps letting me down. 

I am a moderator on an off road forum up here in the northeast. This happens every february on that forum.

Due to the Covid situation I worked an average of 96 hours per week in 2021.....Let that sink in.....

The doctor says the arthritis and damage in my knees is very advanced and that I need two knee replacements at 48 years old. 

I'm just tired and disgruntled and I hurt. I may retire this year if I can't get my head adjusted to a better outlook.

I think a lot of it is that there has been a concerted effort to divide people and it's working. People are being labeled and put into groups. Tribalism is strong. Nuanced topics have been broken down to us or them, right or wrong. People aren't questioning their own positions or trying to understand the other side. Or even acknowledging that there is another side. They plant their flag and defend it, anything less is weakness. Rather than explain their own positions, many people now attack those that question them, with zero desire to entertain a different idea. Confirmation bias abounds as it's easy to find "facts" to support your argument, no matter the argument or which side you are on. And you have to pick a side, if you are not with us, you are against us. While there has always been some level of division, it seems that even the most mundane topics are taken to the extreme lately, to the point that neither camp makes sense. We are told that people with different opinions are the enemy, so don't you dare step out of line. While there have always been disagreements, historically they were usually farther removed from day to day life. Now they are front and center, affecting pretty much everyone directly. They aren't abstract ideas, they are real, with real consequences. 
 

The good news is that it seems like we are on the extreme of the pendulum swing, and it's starting to head back towards the middle. People are starting to break camp and question their side. What can we do? Maybe we can look at our own positions and reevaluate. Hear out people with different opinions. You don't need to agree with them, just try to understand where they are coming from. Try to accept that people are different, that doesn't make them bad. And just because someone agrees with you, that doesn't make them good. Stop treating everyone with a different opinion like they are an adversary. Stop focusing on differences and enjoy what you have in common. 

Cousin_Eddie (Forum Supporter) said:

Due to the Covid situation I worked an average of 96 hours per week in 2021.....Let that sink in.....

The doctor says the arthritis and damage in my knees is very advanced and that I need two knee replacements at 48 years old. 

I'm just tired and disgruntled and I hurt. I may retire this year if I can't get my head adjusted to a better outlook.

 

If I were in a position to retire I would and then figure out how to get my head straight.  You'll have more time to do it then.  I don't do the physical work you're doing and have only been averaging about 65-70 hours and I'm burned out.  We've had most of the people eligible to go running out in the last year and I haven't heard anyone regret it.  

Boost_Crazy said:

I think a lot of it is that there has been a concerted effort to divide people and it's working. People are being labeled and put into groups. Tribalism is strong. Nuanced topics have been broken down to us or them, right or wrong. People aren't questioning their own positions or trying to understand the other side. Or even acknowledging that there is another side. They plant their flag and defend it, anything less is weakness. Rather than explain their own positions, many people now attack those that question them, with zero desire to entertain a different idea. Confirmation bias abounds as it's easy to find "facts" to support your argument, no matter the argument or which side you are on. And you have to pick a side, if you are not with us, you are against us. While there has always been some level of division, it seems that even the most mundane topics are taken to the extreme lately, to the point that neither camp makes sense. We are told that people with different opinions are the enemy, so don't you dare step out of line. While there have always been disagreements, historically they were usually farther removed from day to day life. Now they are front and center, affecting pretty much everyone directly. They aren't abstract ideas, they are real, with real consequences. 
 

The good news is that it seems like we are on the extreme of the pendulum swing, and it's starting to head back towards the middle. People are starting to break camp and question their side. What can we do? Maybe we can look at our own positions and reevaluate. Hear out people with different opinions. You don't need to agree with them, just try to understand where they are coming from. Try to accept that people are different, that doesn't make them bad. And just because someone agrees with you, that doesn't make them good. Stop treating everyone with a different opinion like they are an adversary. Stop focusing on differences and enjoy what you have in common. 

Why do you hate America?

Datsun310Guy said:

Asked a 40 year old salary paid manager to get on a phone call on Friday at 1pm EST and he says it's noon CST and that's lunchtime.  Really?   

Yeah, really.  I don't know about your workplace, but mine's gotten bad with everyone working from home now and folks will sling meetings out all over the place.  You send me a meeting between 1130 and 1230 and unless you're bringing lunch, I'm declining that, I don't care what timezone you're in.  I would routinely have meetings booked for most of the day and folks would try to just grab that noon timeslot because it was open.  If I do that, that means I don't eat that day, so hard pass.  I've actually gone ahead and created a recurring appointment that blocks off 1130-1230 every day just to prevent that.

I could tell you about my job, but then my blood pressure would skyrocket, so I won't.

One thing that has helped immensely is I don't pay attention to the news (much) or politics. I watch the local news but never network or cable shows.  And I generally avoid any discussions about the topics they would cover. 

I'm an introvert, so Kung Flu has been almost a blessing, LOL. 

This time of year in the mid-atlantic region is too cold for me. No motorcycle riding which makes me testy. That's how I relax. It's been too cold in the garage even with the heater on. Once spring arrives life will improve again, for me at least.

One needs to keep looking at history to keep expectations in check.   The situation has been far worse before, even under similar situations- as bad as WWI was, the flu that followed it killed more people.   And as much as people hate how we've been cooped up for the last two years- the fact that we had the technology to reasonably cope with the pandemic as been an actual life saver.

If deaths tracked from the last pandemic, we'd be somewhere near (probably above) 2M US deaths.

So for that, things can certainly be worse.

In terms of working, I think the pandemic has done a massive reset on what people want out of life.  People have been sorta, kinda trending to less of a consumerism standpoint, and it sure seems that it's been accelerated.  And one note to some of the posts- the higher ups in companies have thrived on the backs of workers.   So add the two together, and you get more "work to live" and less "live to work", and that "live" standard has changed a lot.

While it's understandable to be angry at the people who don't want to work as hard, the work part of life is going to change a lot.

On the flip side of that, the supply chain issues seem to have finally pointed out how non robust it is to rely on one part of the world for all of your making stuff.  When I graduated from college, the US was a world leader in chip making, and that went away.  But I'm currently aware of 3 massive plants (two in Arizona one in Ohio) for advanced chip making.  I'm sure there is more (I know that Micron is moving their HQ from Idaho to Georgia- they also make chips).  They are the ones getting the headlines- and I know there is more out there.

The interesting thing is how the workers at the plants are "treated"- as they will need to be paid pretty well.

As for the political discourse- again, it's been worse.  A lot worse.  Just look back to the origins of this country, and look at the vitriol passed as journalism between some of our founding fathers.

Somehow, through all of what has happened, we have survived.

For me, i just got tired of being angry.  And work very hard to not get trapped into news and opinion pieces that are just there to upset people.  

My retirement is right around the corner- but it's not from just wanting to get out, it's been in the works for at least 25 years.  Now we get to use what we learned during the pandemic to go out and explore.  Which is to suggest- make lemonade of of the lemons of the pandemic.   

In reply to alfadriver :

You certainly said some good stuff there. Fantastic. 

As for me, I've not really gotten angry, but I'd say now I'm fed up with 2 years of political Covid. It has taken a toll on my kids and I'm seeing effects of that. Now that's where I draw the line. I can eat E36 M3 all day long and survive, but when it comes to my kids, I won't back down. 

I have noticed how impatient people are now a days. I cannot drive to work without aggressive drivers making my commute a nightmare. 

preach (dudeist priest) said:

I am a moderator on an off road forum up here in the northeast. This happens every february on that forum.

 

I see the same thing on the tractor forum. For me, this time of year I go to work, I come home, I eat, I sit. I dont have good enough heat in the shop for January and February temps, so I'm not in there. Ive had enough of YouTube videos about what I want to be doing. I'm not mentally stimulated. Besides occasional snow clearing I have nothing to do outside. So I'm not getting mentally or physically exercised. Its wearing on me. I'm sure I'm not the only one.

The host of one of the podcasts I listen to maintains a theory that there's some deep part of our evolutionarily-early brain that comes to the surface in response to illness.  He theorizes that it's an early defense mechanism to get away from anyone that appears sick and that it's getting a bit overstimulated when it comes to a pandemic which winds up making us all act a bit crazy.  He's a political guy and an author, though, so I don't know how much stock to put in that theory, but it's better than anything I've got.

Personally, I think we're hitting a bit of a confluence of events that have been building for a while and I don't think there's any one factor to blame.  There are some perverse incentive structures at play in the world and a lot of our technology has been leveraged to enable them.  Throw normal human nature on top of that, send the entertainment writers on strike for a while and create a market for unscripted TV, stir in a pandemic, and you get an excrement sandwich of which we're all gonna have to take a bite.

In reply to alfadriver :

I agree that "work to live" is being re-evaluated, and it's long overdue. 
 

But I strongly disagree that consumerism is on the decline. As people are re-evaluating their desire to work, they are also buying stuff for their "new" lifestyles. The pipeline is jammed full, and there are far too few people producing. The supply chain issues you mentioned are being magnified by a serious uptick in consumerism. 

I can't speak much to societal anger, but I do recognize that it is more prevalent than it used to be. Constant fighting and bickering. Arguing over innocuous crap. The keyboard warrior mentality seems to be spilling over in to every say life.  I'm a highly social person, and I can hardly stand being in public anymore. I have been unable to find a group of like minded people, save for a high percentage of members here, but even that isn't real engagement. 

I, however, am extremely angry lately. Custody battle complications have drained me mentally and financially. I left my "dream job" and am living with some regret. I can't afford to touch my Z, so it just sits in the shop, collecting dust. 

The remodel on our new house has taken a month longer than it was supposed to, due to getting sick, unexpected expenses elsewhere and weather. Because the remodel isn't done, I am paying two mortgages with insufficient income and have ZERO connection with the things that keep me mentally stable (car projects, outdoor activities, time with my kids).

Hopefully the warmer weather ahead will defrost the icy layer surrounding my heart. 

There have definitely been times in the past when political discourse and angry journalism have been much worse than they are now. 
 

However, the general public didn't have newsfeeds and notifications dinging in their pockets every time someone wanted to influence people with negativity. And they didn't have anonymous ways they could spew back their negative opinions. 
 

That makes it much worse now. Because the general populace is pissed off. In the past, they were clueless. 

Makes me think of Lenard Cohen's There is a War:

There Is A War / Leonard Cohen

There is a war between the rich and poor

A war between the man and the woman

There is a war between the ones who say there is a war

And the ones who say there isn't

Why don't you come on back to the war, that's right, get in it . Why don't you come on back to the war, it's just beginning.

Well I live here with a woman and a child. The situation makes me kind of nervous. Yes, I rise up from her arms, she says "I guess you call this love" I call it service.

Why don't you come on back to the war, don't be a tourist. Why don't you come on back to the war, before it hurts us. Why don't you come on back to the war, let's all get nervous.

You cannot stand what I've become

You much prefer the gentleman I was before

I was so easy to defeat, I was so easy to control

I didn't even know there was a war

Why don't you come on back to the war, don't be embarrassed. Why don't you come on back to the war, you can still get married.

There is a war between the rich and poor

A war between the man and the woman

There is a war between the left and right

A war between the black and white

A war between the odd and the even

Why don't you come on back to the war, pick up your tiny burden. Why don't you come on back to the war, let's all get even.

Why don't you come on back to the war, can't you hear me speaking?

Everyone gets angry.  Human nature.

It is how one handles the anger that makes the difference.

Sounds easy but isn't in these extraordinary times.

You don't have to drag the anger around with you everywhere you go.

Again, sounds easy but is almost impossible currently.

I am going to stream some electro swing to get the beat going.

And hey, everyone go have a nice day.

Snowdoggie (Forum Supporter) said:

Duke said:

Things aren't as good as the were during the good times in the past.  That's an important distinction.

Maybe you've heard me rant about the 1970s.  Leaving aside my feelings on the subjective aesthetic issues, the '70s were a pretty awful time in the world, purely from a politcal, social, and economic standpoint.  I don't think what we're going through now is any worse than, say, 1975-1979 were.

 

1975 to 1979 were my high school years. I don't remember them being that bad. Mom and dad both had good jobs. We lived in a very nice new two story suburban house that might have cost dad about $40,000 and dad owned another house that we rented out. Our family belonged to a local country club with an olympic sized pool where my sister and I would hang out during the summer. Kids at my high school were driving Porsche 914s, Camaros, Firebirds and Barracudas. there were also new Datsuns, Toyotas, Pintos and Vegas in the parking lot. I drove a 69 Mustang. My friend Rick got a new Corvette for his 18th birthday. We cruised the main drag and gas, even though it was up to $1 a gallon back then, was more reasonable that it is today. Everybody had dirt bikes and we rode on vacant lots and farmers fields with our Yamaha Enduros and Hodaka Super Rats. I had a Yamaha LT2 back then, in bright green. Our high school had a ski bus that went to places like Lake Tahoe and Kirkwood and lift tickets were $12.

Our community college was free back then except for a $5 registration fee. The University of California charged $450 per quarter. If your daddy was rich or you could get lots of scholarships, Stanford and USC were about $8,000 a year. Nobody had big student loans back then. It wasn't a problem.

We would watch Saturday Night Live and Belushi and Chevy Chase and the whole original cast was there. Movies were better. Not so politically correct, but actually funny. Music was better. Concerts were everywhere.

The 70's were a much better time to live that today. We were less angry and more happy back then, even without smartphones and the internet.

We actually looked forward to college and a career and a home in the suburbs filled with cool sports cars. What do kids have to look forward to today? Huge student loans and expensive apartments filled with roommates? Temp work and gig jobs plus a side hustle just to make your nut every month. Expensive leased EVs that look like appliances?

 

You're comparing being a teenager to being an adult, not the 1970s to the 2020s. Everything is easier, freer, and less stressful when you're a teenager. Especially growing up in a wealthy household in a wealthy area. I imagine some kids on the wrong side of the tracks had a very different take on the exact same time period in the exact same general area.

gearheadmb said:For me, this time of year I go to work, I come home, I eat, I sit. I dont have good enough heat in the shop for January and February temps, so I'm not in there. Ive had enough of YouTube videos about what I want to be doing. I'm not mentally stimulated. Besides occasional snow clearing I have nothing to do outside. So I'm not getting mentally or physically exercised. Its wearing on me. I'm sure I'm not the only one.

The drugs and therapy are a major factors in my depression being under control but another large part is that I moved from Upstate NY to New Mexico and I no longer have to deal with those conditions.  I didn't do it for mental health reasons.  I did it for a better job (although one could argue that they're related) but the sunny warmer, winters here are a huge help with mental health. 

You haven't seen real anger yet.   But its coming soon...   

U.S. inflation rate climbs to 7.5% after another sharp increase in consumer prices - MarketWatch

wae said:

Datsun310Guy said:

Asked a 40 year old salary paid manager to get on a phone call on Friday at 1pm EST and he says it's noon CST and that's lunchtime.  Really?   

Yeah, really.  I don't know about your workplace, but mine's gotten bad with everyone working from home now and folks will sling meetings out all over the place.  You send me a meeting between 1130 and 1230 and unless you're bringing lunch, I'm declining that, I don't care what timezone you're in.  I would routinely have meetings booked for most of the day and folks would try to just grab that noon timeslot because it was open.  If I do that, that means I don't eat that day, so hard pass.  I've actually gone ahead and created a recurring appointment that blocks off 1130-1230 every day just to prevent that.

THANK YOU. If you see that I have a single 30 minute slot available in my day, and it is at 12:30, do not take that slot. I'll decline it. 

Every 3rd and 4th week of the month I have 30 minutes blocked off on my calendar. Along with the first hour of every Monday and last hour of every Friday. I need that first hour of a Monday to figure out my week. I need that last hour of that Friday to get everything cleaned up. And I'm no longer willing to work more than 40 hours a week (6 specific weeks excluded from this) - we've had 3 open positions in my group, 2 of them since December and 1 of them since July. Ya'll can fill those, you can give me a raise, or you can deal with stuff not getting done. And I see the exodus of people leaving - you can't afford for me to leave too (though you'd better get ready for it).