Yet another carreer advice thread. Or, I need to change my life like, RIGHT NOW

You have a job. For some of us that's a distant dream. Just sayin. Take a vacation and see how you feel.

Having other peoples junk drag your hardware down the rabbit hole sucks. We run into that fairly often trying to integrate our stuff into other vendors junk security systems. Unfortunately there isn't much you can do about it other than warn people in advance. That, you are just going to have to deal with. Don't spend so much time looking at the problem, look at solutions. Don't look at the entire problem at once, break it into sections and solve it a little at a time if possible. If your boss doesn't already know about the possible issues, now is the time to let him know. Stating after the fact that you thought there might be problems really sucks, for them and for you.

Taking a vacation now would probably be a mistake. As stated earlier just knowing you were coming back to a sinking ship would ruin it. I would stick it out through the end of this project and then take some time off. That way you come back to a new situation rather than the same old problems.

Most importantly, leave work at work and home at home. Don't think about your work problems when you are at home, EVER. Don't think about you girlfriend or personal problems at work, EVER. Home needs to be a mini vacation from work, and work needs to be a mini vacation from home. Trying to solve all your problems at once is what makes you feel overwhelmed. Divide them up and deal with them at their appropriate times. From there, you need a space where you are neither home or work. I use my shop, or my car. If I am in either one of them, the rest of the world can kiss my butt. I am going to put all my attention into what I am doing at the moment, be that driving or building something. I'm not going to worry about what the wife is nagging about or the fact that my partner made a $5k mistake that has a contractor pissed and we have to pay for. That is how I deal with stress and stressful problems. Sometimes I just have to get away from all the problems for a while.

If this makes any sense to anyone I will be amazed.

Thanks for the comments all. I actually think I posted way too much, but I was having a hissy fit and needed to air out my head. Oh well.

For the record... the relationship is not really what's stressing me out. We both know what we were getting into... Hopefully when I'm back there next we can talk things over and see how far along we can make it. We're not really "different religions" as I'm an atheist (no theists in my family since at least back to my grandparents) and she's the least devout Muslim ever (doesn't pray, eats pork, smokes, drinks, etc.) so there is that.

I'm not seriously thinking of quitting right now. That is the easy way out but in my mind the worst.

I actually mostly agree with Poop here:

poopshovel wrote: The right thing to do is often the hardest. Finishing the job is the right thing to do. Don't sweat the hardware failure. That's your boss's job!!! Does he know your thoughts on the situation (regarding this E36 M3 being...well...E36 M3?) If so, stop stressing about it. If not, all you have to do is tell him once. Don't harp on it, don't stress about it, go in, get your work done, and collect your check. Regardless, having the "There's plenty of work out there for me" attitude, while simultaneously talking about taking a month off in the middle of a project and pissing all your co-workers off, or up and quitting, doesn't make a lot of sense. Do you think your current employer would give you a reference after that? Are you in a pretty tight-knit industry where your boss knows a lot of other "bosses" in the field? Do you want to be known as the complain-ey guy who quit, or the guy who sucked it up and got the job done even though the conditions sucked? PS: I've read through and edited this post several times. I'm not trying to sound like a dick, but if I do, it's because I want to see us ALL do well and make money!!!

This exactly sums up my thoughts (and why I'm actually having a dilemma.) I don't want to be the guy who puts in a half-assed effort and then bogs off and leaves everyone else to sweep up after him. That's already been done and now I'm stuck here at the end of it. So are my boss and my other co-workers. The "official" head count of this project has gone from probably 8 or 9 people when I joined in 2007 down to four, plus another guy who is officially on another team but still does software work on our stuff - and now we're at the end and that just isn't enough manpower to fix everything. Funding is finished, there's NO opportunity to hire anyone else, and my boss basically pulled a rabbit out of a hat to keep what's left of the team for another year.

For the record working here is nothing like a typical corporate environment (not that I have much to do with those.) Very academic research institute, like a university only with no students. Lots of PhDs and professors running projects, and just like at a university 90% of them are out for one thing alone - personal status. If they can achieve this better by jumping ship, they will. That attitude has screwed us over many times. Strictly speaking I'm a contractor rather than an employee, as is just about everyone else here (including my boss who's been here 13 years.)

Oh yeah, I have to use my 35 vacation days. Institute policy is "use 'em or lose 'em", i.e. NO compensation or anything when the contract is done. It was my boss who actually told me this and recommended I take them when I can, but obviously I don't want to screw everyone over when I do that.

I guess my real question is, how do I stay motivated to work on something that looks very doomed? I feel like I'm the last rat on a sinking ship. Nobody else is going to bring in a miracle solution that will fix everything, and I just don't have one. I know I need to work my butt off to get this thing in reasonable shape before the party's over, but what my brain thinks and what my gut feeling says are two different things. It's unbelievably frustrating, especially since it was a really great project to work on before everything started falling apart.

I'll see what happens next week. I'm still waiting for a delivery from the UK that I can't go anywhere or do anything before I get my grubby mitts on. Putting in for a vacation immediately after the fieldwork sounds like the best idea, gives me some relaxation time to look forward to when it's over. Just getting there... ugh.

MitchellC wrote: Be mindful of your co-workers, but in the end, only you will look out for you.

I'm not saying this is the right attitude to have, but its the truth. If they have to E36 M3can somebody, the company will do it without any remorse. That is life and business. Of course, you actually don't seem to mind what you are doing and like the people you work with.

I feel like I'm the last rat on a sinking ship. Nobody else is going to bring in a miracle solution that will fix everything, and I just don't have one. I know I need to work my butt off to get this thing in reasonable shape before the party's over, but what my brain thinks and what my gut feeling says are two different things.

In this situation there is only one thing you can do. Have a logical, well planned out discussion with your boss. Explain to him WHY this is going to go wrong, and then explain to him HOW (or at least give suggestions) to fix some of the current systems problems. If that isn't within the "scope" of the project, then stop your worrying and just do your job the best you can. You can only affect what you have control over, which does not include the previous system.

sorry to have skipped over most of the posts, laptop's about to snooze on me. take a vacation, now! this week, make it two weeks and turn your phone off - you're owed the vacation time - owed, it's there for a reason. it might not resolve a thing, but you sound like you really need it. peace out.