Tesla Truck: It’s Got Angles

It's a spoof. Elon having some fun with a crudely constructed concept. The real truck will look different, but the specs will be the same, a shot over the bow of the Big Three.

Too bad having a bed big enough to take a 4x8 sheet of plywood wasn't on the design list....might have been able to overlook the ugliness of the design.

wspohn said:

Too bad having a bed big enough to take a 4x8 sheet of plywood wasn't on the design list....might have been able to overlook the ugliness of the design.

I think that is a big deal. It is easily long enough to have made that happen and still seat 6. I know most truck buyers are mall crawler soccer mom types but it seems odd to miss that basic need. Does it meet it with the tailgate down?

I think it needs big block TESLA lettering across the front, rear, and rear half of the lower sides in Ford Raptor'ish style possibly in electricity blue/white LED's. Would do a lot to enhance the boldness of it and break up the big empty spaces

I can't see me hauling yard waste, wood, rocks, or an appliance in this thing. I can't see me towing my race car 700 miles either. Does this thing even have a hitch? How is this called "truck"? Do they understand what people do with trucks in the real world?

In reply to KentF :

People go to walmart in trucks in the real world. My stepdad owns a 2017 GMC that he's legitimately used as a truck (i.e. hauling) about 3 times, all for moving.

Now, it's a prototype so things will be changed or added... but the CYBERTRUCK is basically a hardier model S with a bed and wild styling. It's meant to work yes- but it's first and foremost meant to be a statement about it's owner.

In reply to GIRTHQUAKE :

I missed the part about it being a prototype. That covers a multitude of sins.

So what do you expect the statement its owners would be trying to make?

Sometimes those statements are more about the observer. 

Well it's got crazy towing capacity so there must be plans for a hitch. Get the supercharger app to find charging along the 700 mi to Kansas. 

No 5th wheel trailers because of the "sails" 

Do King ranch $70k trucks make dump runs?

In reply to Keith Tanner :

The observer only responds (positively, negatively, or neutrally). The owner makes the purchase, tying it to themselves in public. The owner makes the statement. I'm just... not sure what it is in this case. The Tesla cars are brilliant,  look great and are functional. I'm sure this thing is brilliant underneath. But functionality has been seriously subverted to style. It will be interesting to see the production version if it gets that far.

KentF said:

In reply to GIRTHQUAKE :

I missed the part about it being a prototype. That covers a multitude of sins.

So what do you expect the statement its owners would be trying to make?

For myself, I love me some Syd Mead (who loves it) and being able to drive Blade Runner every day rules, which has been part of the attraction from friends of mine. It is so different from everything else on the road, and that's similar to why I got my AW11 at first- its vaporwave as all hell, and that got me interested and I started researching. For the record- I have no purpose for a truck but I want this. It actually excites me from a design standpoint how they're folding it into shape, how frugal it is as it's made from so many stock parts from other Teslas...

For others, like some have mentioned it will be driving the future of a 12 year old- it looks like the future you were promised when you were a kid, and for many it will truly be a feeling of "the future is NOW" in a vehicle. Everything today still has the smooth lines of the 90s, that "melted bar of soap" aesthetic... except for this. Couple the fact that it's aggressive as all hell and I think many who drive fun family cars like your Dodge Challenger but also have some environmental concerns will look hard at this.

Finally, I think there will be a strong- but small- contingent of people who have fantasies that it's supposed bulletproof nature will indulge. I knew a dude back in 2012 who whole-ass stocked his house for a zombie apocalypse, down to storing food and guns in his attic. There's more than enough people out there who will see this wagon for shoving all your hopes and dreams into and will jack it up with brush guards and even bigger mudder tires as a bugout vehicle, who will buy that Tonnaeu cover for bugout fantasies. And why not?

EDIT:

"Function has been subverted for style"? I seriously disagree. I think it's gone so minimalist and utilitarian it's come BACK around to having style, like Brutalist architecture. Though some doubt is there, their torque and pulling specs don't shock me.

redstack said:

Do King ranch $70k trucks make dump runs?

In my area I've seen several Platinum super duty trucks being used for construction work, hauling trailers or equipment.

Most of the stuff I hauled in my truck (including 4x8 plywood sheets) wasn't taller than the bed sides so I'm sure most people thought I bought it as a fashion statement and never hauled anything.

Tesla truck likely won't be in the same league as a 3/4 ton pickup but if it's got a bed it will "truck" just fine for most people I'm sure.

KentF said:

In reply to Keith Tanner :

The observer only responds (positively, negatively, or neutrally). The owner makes the purchase, tying it to themselves in public. The owner makes the statement. I'm just... not sure what it is in this case. The Tesla cars are brilliant,  look great and are functional. I'm sure this thing is brilliant underneath. But functionality has been seriously subverted to style. It will be interesting to see the production version if it gets that far.

So what can't this thing do that my Silverado 1500 can?

I can't put a 4 x 8 sheet of anything in it.  

What else am I missing?

KentF said:

In reply to Keith Tanner :

The observer only responds (positively, negatively, or neutrally). The owner makes the purchase, tying it to themselves in public. The owner makes the statement. I'm just... not sure what it is in this case. The Tesla cars are brilliant,  look great and are functional. I'm sure this thing is brilliant underneath. But functionality has been seriously subverted to style. It will be interesting to see the production version if it gets that far.

Sometimes the owner just buys something, and the observer loads it up with their own baggage. Simply purchasing something is not equivalent to making a statement. If someone assumes that it does, that says more about the observer. 

This is very clear when it comes to trucks. I don’t think there’s another vehicle that is so freighted down with baggage on the part of outsiders. Truck owners all use their vehicles for work, or are all urban cowboys, or all tow cross country, or all want to blot out the sun with smoke, etc. You can clearly see it in the threads in this truck - we all have very strong ideas about truck owners based on our limited sphere of exposure.

The only loss of function I see here is the bed cover. And those things are not unknown in the current truck world. Come up with a soft roll-up version like my Truxedo and there’s a good marriage of weather protection, aero and access. I’m not thrilled with the sloping bed sides, that is potentially a bigger problem. Ask Honda about that. 

In reply to Keith Tanner :

Well said. And I just spent some time on thier website. The thing does have specs much better than what was being discussed elsewhere. I stand corrected. It would meet any normal qualifications put forth as "truck". That said, whatever statement it makes, it is not for me thank you. 

Mr. Musk...  Citroen would like a word with you.

https://www.motor1.com/news/60892/concept-we-forgot-1980-citroen-karin/

In reply to racerfink :

Owe, owe, owe...

I had a running but rotted Fiat 600 back when I was young and thought I could do anything. I drew up a mid-engine plywood roadster that was more attractive than this thing. If Morgan, Marcos, and Brubaker could do it I figured so can I. I never did. Might still have the drawings somewhere.

Keith Tanner said:

. I don’t think there’s another vehicle that is so freighted down with baggage on the part of outsiders. Truck owners all use their vehicles for work, or are all urban cowboys, or all tow cross country, or all want to blot out the sun with smoke, etc. You can clearly see it in the threads in this truck - we all have very strong ideas about truck owners based on our limited sphere of exposure.

 

Prius's..  sometimes people just want a reliable car with good gas mileage

In case anyone missed it. Here is the truck:

I laughed when I first saw it.  I've done lots of reading about it.  Now I kind of love it.

You can order it already on the Tesla website. I don't think this is a prototype.

The final version may be tweaked slightly, but I don't think this is some one-off stunt either.

The straight line performance smokes everything i own by a large margin, from what he said, depending on traction it would work darn good offroad (maybe not extreme stuff, but work and travel) and i dont usually get 250 miles out of my Miata, and none of my cars will go 500 miles without gas, bathroom and food anyway.  Now all i have to do is come up with $80k.

Wonder if people would pay to take pics with it like those guys on the street that look like bronze statues........

Oh, and it has a bed too!

Justjim75 said:

The straight line performance smokes everything i own by a large margin

For a moment there I didn't realize you were referring to the vehicle's acceleration performance. When it comes to straight lines, I'd say the Tesla truck is certainly unrivaled.

GIRTHQUAKE said:

KentF said:

In reply to GIRTHQUAKE :

I missed the part about it being a prototype. That covers a multitude of sins.

So what do you expect the statement its owners would be trying to make?

For myself, I love me some Syd Mead (who loves it) and being able to drive Blade Runner every day rules, which has been part of the attraction from friends of mine. It is so different from everything else on the road, and that's similar to why I got my AW11 at first- its vaporwave as all hell, and that got me interested and I started researching. For the record- I have no purpose for a truck but I want this. It actually excites me from a design standpoint how they're folding it into shape, how frugal it is as it's made from so many stock parts from other Teslas...

For others, like some have mentioned it will be driving the future of a 12 year old- it looks like the future you were promised when you were a kid, and for many it will truly be a feeling of "the future is NOW" in a vehicle. Everything today still has the smooth lines of the 90s, that "melted bar of soap" aesthetic... except for this. Couple the fact that it's aggressive as all hell and I think many who drive fun family cars like your Dodge Challenger but also have some environmental concerns will look hard at this.

Finally, I think there will be a strong- but small- contingent of people who have fantasies that it's supposed bulletproof nature will indulge. I knew a dude back in 2012 who whole-ass stocked his house for a zombie apocalypse, down to storing food and guns in his attic. There's more than enough people out there who will see this wagon for shoving all your hopes and dreams into and will jack it up with brush guards and even bigger mudder tires as a bugout vehicle, who will buy that Tonnaeu cover for bugout fantasies. And why not?

EDIT:

"Function has been subverted for style"? I seriously disagree. I think it's gone so minimalist and utilitarian it's come BACK around to having style, like Brutalist architecture. Though some doubt is there, their torque and pulling specs don't shock me.

All of this.  I think it's awesome.  I wish I had a need for a truck, so I could buy one.