I’m often the one doing the driving. I’m not the only one here usually tasked with that duty, right? I like cars, and I like to drive.
This weekend, though, something different: A friend offered to do the driving for our Mecum outing a little more than an hour away. I got to ride shotgun.
It must be something with how my brain is wired, but I do not like being a passenger. If I'm in a car, I really prefer to be driving.
And my (now medicated) AD/HD ensures that I also take note of all the little things while I drive–new apartment complexes, people walking on the sidewalk, passing the same car at the same place for the third day in a row, that car behind me is weaving through traffic so I better be ready to get rear-ended in case he doesn't see me slowing down, etc.
The day before we left, my friend asked who was driving. If he was up for it, I replied, I’d be so happy. I had just done and up-and-back to see my folks plus some running around in the state. He drive a lot for work, so if he didn’t want to drive, no hard feelings at all.
I admit, it was very nice being driven. He picked me up, I got in the right seat, and I enjoyed the view and the exhaust note.
I'm okay being a passenger if the driver is attentive, has acceptable skill operating the machine, and has situational awareness.
In short, I rarely am comfortable as a passenger.
I make my living as a passenger, so I'm quite used to it and it doesn't bother me at all.
I spent some of last week riding on twisty mountain roads with my 85-year-old father behind the wheel.
He was very attentive. Power on coming out of the corner, late braking into them. He is not what I would call smooth. Unfortunately, he was driving a 2004 Dodge 2500 diesel. I damn near ended up car sick.
I do not enjoy being a passenger.
Floating Doc (Forum Supporter) said:I'm okay being a passenger if the driver is attentive, has acceptable skill operating the machine, and has situational awareness.
In short, I rarely am comfortable as a passenger.
This. It's 100% dependent on the nut behind the wheel for me. In states like Texas where drivers education is an absolute joke*, I'd rather drive unless I know the other person is competent.
*My wife and I do joke when when we see a turn signal being used correctly: "Huh. Turn signal is on and they're actually turning...must not be from around here."
I am usually a very bad passenger. When my wife drives, I have to close my eyes or stare out the window. All the while biting down on my tongue until it bleeds.
I have no problem flipping the keys to my 17 year old, though, and letting her drive me around. It's so relaxing, I can look around and see the stuff I can't look at when I'm driving, and if I want to indulge in some adult beverages I can do so without any worry. Pretty soon here I'm going to have to get back to teaching her how to drive with a trailer attached (we've done some trailer backing practice, but that's about it) and then how to drive a motorhome.
Depends on who is driving. If my buddy B.W. that I race with is driving, not a problem. I can fall asleep with him at the wheel and be fine with it. Local dirt track has a two seat modified to give fans rides during intermission and he is one of the drivers for that. Still waiting for my turn.
If my wife is driving, I prefer to be in a medically induced coma. Mailboxes seem so freaking close on that side of the car.
I was front seat passenger for a bus run in Jamaica last spring. Speeding down the center lane, straight at oncoming traffic, missing everything on every side by inches, last minute maneuvers. I never even flinched, just kept on sight seeing. Once at our destination the driver questions, "Do you drive?" My calm to his crazy was a sign.
Tourist vans get their own set of rules because everyone knows tourist bring the money, it was actually pretty wild how well it worked.
For the record, my friend drives well. Car was rather responsive and comfortable, too.
I want to give credit here.
Although she prefers to have me drive, and it's always my choice to do so, my wife is a good driver.
I got her to a few autocross events last year, and she was surprisingly fast right from the start.
I've done long rallys with my friend in his Lotus 7 replica. We aren't afraid to wring the thing out, and with 205WHP and 1350 lbs, it flies. Whenever he's driving and in an aggressive mode, it occurs to me that this is one of the biggest leaps of faith that I will ever make. All it would take would be an "oops" at the wrong moment and we'd both be memories. But the fact that I trust my friend enough to give him that sort of power over my fate is kind of awesome.
Floating Doc (Forum Supporter) said:I'm okay being a passenger if the driver is attentive, has acceptable skill operating the machine, and has situational awareness.
In short, I rarely am comfortable as a passenger.
Yeah, that.
My wife spends an uncomfortable amount of time pushing buttons on her phone to select podcasts, etc. She also is very passing adverse so finds the slowest car on the road and paces it. My dad is better, but a little aggressive/angry sometimes. A few friends Ive riden with don't seem to think about what lane they need to be in until 100ft ahead and then change 3 lanes to get there.
So yah, I'm not generally comfortable as a passenger. I'm sure my wife would label me as a fast/aggressive driver.
I wish I was a better passenger, too. I struggle not being behind the wheel. Are there classes for this?
In reply to J.A. Ackley :
I struggle with this too. Here's what I've tried:
Theory for the above is that visually fixating on the vectors of your own path as well as potential threats is causing extra anxiety when you are not 100% in control and/or do not 100% trust the person who is.
On the other end of the spectrum, I've been a passenger on the Nordschleife and Tail of the Dragon (+Cherohala) being driven at full tilt. Complete trust the driver made these some of my favorite rides, but the elements beyond one's control (high-delta passes, oncoming crossing the double yellow, respectively) will never stop being pucker moments.
__
* voice of experience, not recommended, don't do what Donnie Don't does
I'm pretty sure one of the things that causes me anxiety as a passenger is that most of the time the world is suggesting to me a pretty particular trajectory, and as soon as another driver is putting the car somewhere else by a few inches, I'm concerned. The reality is that a normal driving pace, there's a lot of room for different choices before actual trouble.
My wife is a good driver, but that doesn't stop me from being anxious. I do see more scenery, though, which is nice.
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