Adult ADHD - I'm Cheating Again

As an 11 year old kid during the Ritalin epidemic, I was diagnosed with ADHD. Early on, I'm not entirely sure the medicine helped much, and I stopped taking it at 15. I may have kept some around for tests or whatnot, but for the most part I didn't like the side affects of Ritalin.

After a few years of struggling to study (especially Math) and failing a few courses in college, I decided to try the meds again, this time being prescribed time release versions. The results were pretty dramatic. At both work and school, I had new found organizations and focus skills. Downside? At work it made me in a raging lunatic hell bent on productivity. I'd get pretty angry when unforeseen events kept me from going about my business. It was as though I would get momentum, and when the momentum started I didn't want it to stop until the day was over.

When I went back to college full-time at age 23, I had no insurance, and therefore, no meds. Luckily, my Geography degree needed more of my creative side and less of my rage-induced focusing. Every now and then I'd dig up an old pill for a big test (finals) or study session.

I graduated with a bachelors at 25 and had been without Ritalin for nearly a year.

It's been at least 6 years since I've had any medication for ADHD, and just yesterday I picked up a 30-day prescription of the lowest dose of Concerta I could get. I figured it may be useful at a good, nice paying job that requires lots of work getting done in a short amount of time, work that requires lots of focus and attention to detail. It may not do a damn thing, but I still can't help but feel that it's cheating.

I was diagnosed ADHD at 43 and have been on Adderal for about 18-months. I've been working my first 100% desk job for 3-years now and the Adderal has greatly improved my concentrate and productivity...as I sit here now typing this. (Hey, I do get breaks!)

It's only cheating if you get caug... dammit !

I was diagnosed in Kindergarten and was on Ritalin during schoolyears (summers off meds) until highschool, when they switched me over to Adderal. Towards the tail end of highschool I went off the meds, and when I was in college (engineering) I was struggling. When I tried going back on the same meds as highschool, they made me feel sick to the point that any positive effect was negligible.

Now, I have a job where almost nothing has a solid deadline and I am underworked. I have a real struggle to keep focused and would be better off if I was actually overworked. I have been considering if I should try going back on some meds, but I fear just how sick they made me feel in college.

Biggest thing that has been helping me is making lists and beating myself to actually stick to a schedule (including time on task vs breaks).

I am getting my work done, but focusing is much harder than I think it should be.

After numerous observations about it from SWMBO (very easily distracted, jumping from one thing to another, very difficult time focusing when there are multiple stimuli especially audio-wise), earlier this year I went in and was tested (loosely used, as an engineer I have issues with a simple self-reported questionnaire counting as a 'test'...) and they determined that I did indeed have ADD and initially prescribed one of the non-stimulant meds. Saw absolutely no positive reaction from it and instead occasionally felt dizzy or slap-happy from it. When I told this to the doctor she quickly switched me over to what was something of a time-release Adderal (Vyvanse?).

Now, SWMBO has on occasion gotten Adderal from a friend when she's needed to really buckle down and get E36 M3 done and it's a very noticeable change when she has taken one (well, half of one). Me though? Absolutely nothing in the way of a change in behavior that either of us could discern after taking it for the first month. On hearing this, the Dr decided to up the dose. There WAS however one rather unpleasant side-effect that started manifesting around when I had that appointment: really, REALLY bad constipation. We decided that it wasn't worth the side-effect cost and I stopped taking it.

Should probably do more to try and organize and keep myself focused, but for better or worse at the moment there's not that much benefit from doing that at my job, and I usually can stay pretty solidly focused when working on things on the car. The only thing that's really annoying is the 'audio input' problem. I have a REALLY difficult time focusing in on one person talking when there's lot of similarly-volumed conversation going on. It's especially problematic when I'm on a conference call at my desk and people are talking in adjacent desks- I have to put in earphones that plug my free ear to be able to filter the other talking out and focus on the (usually quieter and less clear) phone conversation.

In reply to Ashyukun:

The problems you're having with audio and trying to focus on a single source and block all others is something I've fought with as well. This is one reason I've enjoyed being in countries that are not primarily English-speaking; it's so easier for me to ignore languages I don't speak or understand much of. I didn't think this was a feature of ADD and it makes me wonder if I have some research to do... I also have issues with attention to detail (a problem for an engineer...) and staying focused on anything that isn't deeply interesting to me.

Don't get me wrong, I think some of us aren't made for our respective careers. I would do much better as a surveyor or someone who was working in the field, but at this point it's much easier and financially stable to stay at my current job and occasionally have a little helper pill.

I certainly don't advocate for doing steroids because your not genetically ideal for a given sport, but for someone in a successful career with no worry about losing a job due to lack of focus, I'd have a hard time suggesting they take meds for a non-debilitating physco-personality condition.

Rather than more people being medicated I'd rather see more companies and human resource department better understand that we're not robots and we occasionally need to leave our desk, put on headphones, take a abnormally long lunch to "refocus" on our job duties.

There is a reason adderal is very heavily prescribed for people in investment banking. For most people, it works, productivity goes up, and you're better at your job.

So... if I start taking these pills, does that mean I'll keep my cars longer?

I have no problems with ADHD wha........

Hey did you see that neat hotwheels I found?

Only if your car is a Focus. ...

I went through the very scientific method of ADD diagnosis in the early 90s. "Does he have trouble paying attention in boring classes? If so, let's give him Ritalin. Is he hyper or twitchy now? Nope, let's give him more. .."

Repeat ad nauseum, literally. I was finally set on 60 mG a day, which I took until I started racing bicycles wearing a heart rate monitor. Pretty sure that 230bpm plus is not good in the long term.

It's hard to be hyper when you're dead.

I was diagnosed in 3rd grade and used a form of Ritalin until I was 17. Ritalin, Concerta, Strattera, Matadate... Each had a side-effect worse than the other. The final try was to use Strattera and Metadate together. That was the worse. I stopped eating, couldn't sleep, had the jitters all day. It never seemed to have too noticeable of an effect. It didn't help that I was having seizures my whole life and had no clue, but when people were constantly asking if I was high at work, I knew it was time to stop. I did not feel good.

In summary... lets go ride bikes.

I do know that in order for this to work I'll need to cut out the caffeine. My intake of high-test coffee kicks my bpm up a bit high as it is.

Part of my reason for the lowest dosage was that because I am fairly active and I'll probably take it alongside an aspirin when riding.

This is a frightening subject to me. You all describe me 100% but I can't help but think.....that's just how I am. Maybe I would be a better work if I took pills but IMO I just have trouble concentrating on things I'm not interested in.

Awwww...yep, that's what happens.

I know brilliant people who need the meds to sustain their lifestyle and income, and I know brilliant people who don't. I also know folks who no matter what meds you give them they'll still have no common sense, and again, that's a personality flaw, not a seratonin deficiency.

I went on Ritalin in the late 80s when you still had to get constant therapy to continue the prescription. Took myself off in 8th grade and damn near didn't finish high school. In college i found drugs and booze, which got me through until I went to jail too much. Got clean and sober, brought my gpa up enough to graduate, and went to work. Muscled/struggled along until the attempted suicide when I was diagnosed bipolar. Got on bipolar meds, and found my concentration greatly improved when we found the right med/dose. Mostly cured the headaches too.

Before you take the diagnosis of adult add, check all your bases.ay save your life.

And if you're using drugs/booze tomake your skin fit and deal with world, make some life changes. Its a hell of a lot better than being permanently fogged.

That Calvin and Hobbes comic pretty well describes my life on antidepressants. They worked, they 'fixed' me (and I did need fixing) but I didn't particularly enjoy my life on them and was happy to quit.

My 12yo son takes methyphenidate in a time release version. I fully expect some of you are going to say its wrong, and thats your opinion. It works for him and he is happier now, does better in school and is better in social settings.

He went from being on a first name basis with the principal in 1st and 2nd grade with almost daily calls from the school, to only a couple minor incidents this year (5th grade). He used to need to be put in a room alone, or have a divider between him and the rest of the class to complete assignments, but is now doing great in school and able to take part in class without needing to be separated from his classmates to get his work done.

It took several tries to find the right med and dose to work for him. Some didn't help with focus, others made him extremely emotional, and others cause anger issues. To see how proud he is of how he does in school makes it worth the effort to get to where he is.

The current med and dose helps him focus, but most people wouldnt know he's on meds. He's a typical 12yo who enjoys playing hockey, skateboarding, bicycling, x-box and other preteen activities. He also has the focus to support his curiosity about how things work, learn new skills (he did the brakes on my hyundai), and sit through a movie or read a book.

My opinion is anyone who needs meds for adhd and doesn't take them because they think it is cheating is only cheating themselves.

Crap! You people are all nuts!

1988RedT2 wrote: Crap! You people are all nuts!

And personally, I'm damn proud of it. Been able to help a lot of people because of where the crazy has taken me.

In reply to Enyar:

The only reason I really became cognizant of it myself was after taking my current desk job, then realizing how distracted I'd get. Before I was driving 100-300 miles/day going from customer to customer, so it was rather short periods of concentration followed by longer periods being alone and lost in thought.

Enyar wrote: This is a frightening subject to me. You all describe me 100% but I can't help but think.....that's just how I am. Maybe I would be a better work if I took pills but IMO I just have trouble concentrating on things I'm not interested in.

This pretty much sums it up for me. Being focused has always looked like you lock away imagination. Horse blinders for your imagination if you will.

I never saw it as a case of ADHD kids not being able to deal with society as much as society not being able to deal with kids who did not fit the mold. We now have parents who grew up on ritalin who have no idea of how to think without the drug and go straight to medication as a parenting tool because that is what they know.

Anyone want to bet this was well thought out by the drug companies two generations ago?

NOHOME wrote: This pretty much sums it up for me. Being focused has always looked like you lock away imagination. Horse blinders for your imagination if you will. I never saw it as a case of ADHD kids not being able to deal with society as much as society not being able to deal with kids who did not fit the mold. We now have parents who grew up on ritalin who have no idea of how to think without the drug and go straight to medication as a parenting tool because that is what they know. Anyone want to bet this was well thought out by the drug companies two generations ago?

Are you speaking from direct experience with adhd, or just stating your opinion based on what you've read or heard?

I think people who are against it without any direct experience are being just as closed minded as they claim people are when on the drugs.

I was hesitant to use meds for my son but realized that it was more important to help him than to rule out an option because it has been portrayed negatively by some people.

My observations are that with the right meds my son doesn't lose creativity. The additional focus helps him follow through on his ideas and projects. He stays on task better so instead of getting frustrated by not being able to complete a project because he gets distracted, he can see it through to completion.

Something to remember is it not just focus, but also impulse control that can be part of ADHD. In my sons case, the impulse control was leading to the calls from school, while the lack of focus was causing difficulties staying on task to complete his work.