Divorce...

In reply to ddavidv :

I would agree with all of that.  It was essentially what happened to me and my ex-.  Although we were never married and didn't even live together, after 11 years it often felt like we had just become a grumpy old married couple.  And I definitely felt like I was doing everything I could to not make her upset, pretty much at the total expense of my own personal self worth. Five years after we split, I'm still trying to find that worth again, so beaten down I had made myself.

Ian,

Two books I would recommend are "No More Mr Nice Guy" by Dr Robert Glover and Jordan Peterson's 12 Rules For Life (which I'm currently reading). The latter is a bit of a heavy read but has some good stuff once you drill down to it. Glover's book is an easy read.

I was at a lowest-for-me place (I certainly never had it as bad as some folks) when I finally woke up and allowed 'me' to treat myself as truly important. Best analogy is you have to put the oxygen mask on yourself before you start helping others. We tend to get so focused on pleasing others we don't take care of ourselves first. 

Stampie said:

In reply to Pete Gossett :

My line was when I saw Lil Stampie being affected. That's when I realized he'd be better with two happy homes than one sad home.

I'm in this camp. We were modeling VERY poor behaviour for our kids. I'm much happier now 2 years later. I'm not sure about her and frankly I don't give a flying berkeley, other than the fact that my kids live with her.