I've come to a terrible realization . . .

I'm absolutely no good whatsoever at taking days off.  Due to a recent change in county policy, we now have Veteran's Day off.  Great (and thanks vets BTW!).  Except that I seem to have absolutely no ability to just relax.  So far, I've put the snow tires on the cars and shoveled the driveway (yay Michigan!).  Now I'm restless and bored.  If this were an isolated incident, I could live with it.  But I'm starting to notice it's pretty much every time I'm off work.  I end up spending my days off trying to find something to do and generally being a crabby jerk to everyone around me.  The problem is, I'm within 2 and 1/2 years of having my 30 years in at the county.  Between unused sick and vacation time, I could literally be gone for the next 10 months, more than 10 weeks of that would be vacation time.  I guess I'm a work-a-holic.  (It also doesn't help that no one covers my responsibilities when I'm gone, so being gone just leads to more work)  

Sooooo anybody successfully made the transition from work-a-holic to happily retired person?  Any suggestions (other than "drink more alcohol")?  It feels like I need to start planning and making adjustments.  

Also, I fully realize this falls into the category of "first world problems" and I should probably just suck it up.  

I think you need a challenge car. 

Or, come work on mine 

My father was no workaholic though he had a full time job and a side business.  Once he retired he spent more time on the side business, and eventually started a second side business.

Basically he recreated the instrument machining shop he had access to in his original full-time job, and his second side business was making small batch widgets for a variety of industry specific needs.  But he only did that on a very part-time basis.

Me?  I'm great at killing time.  I plan to spend my first year of retirement cleaning the garage, then move onto the basement for the second year.

Duke said:

Me?  I'm great at killing time.  I plan to spend my first year of retirement cleaning the garage, then move onto the basement for the second year.

 

That is my dad in his retirement. And it'll be me too, 30-45 years from now. 

How many channels are on your TV?

Make and maintain a project list of things around the house to do so you always have something to keep you busy.

Buy a few hobby grade RC car kits, should keep you busy for years building, fixing, and modding.

You need a hobby. Like a big, important hobby. Think volunteering at a non profit hobby. 

Challenge car.

Rough guesstimate says your son will be college age when you have your 30 in? Maybe find something he's good at or likes to do, and turn your time into the groundwork of a business for him. It would keep you busy, or at least mentally occupied, while setting him up for success come graduation.

In reply to kazoospec :

No one I know.  If you can't figure out how to keep yourself busy,  Your retirement will likely be fraught with issues, and health problems.  
Work-a-Holics  forced into inactively. Don't do well.  Instead of lowering your blood pressure inactivity will likely spike it out of frustration.  
At 70 if I didn't have this job, I know I'd become unbearable to live with. Once I can no longer do this I don't know what I'll do to retain my self worth and cheerful disposition.  It's not about the paycheck, rather the need to feel wanted and a contributing member of society. 

Build duck calls?

My old room-mate was a Marine Corps Sgt and DC detective but is now retired and keeps working high end security details even though he doesn't need to.

He said the Duck Dynasty guys "sure know how to berkeley off."

I think you need a goal. Sounds kind of like the goal for the last 30 years or so has been to work until you could retire, and now you need another goal. Work out more, Train for a marathon, etc. Something that keeps you active both mentally and physically while also giving you motivation (and keeping you appealing to your partner) will help you to age gracefully.

Since that can probably be done in a couple of hours each day, I like Javelin's suggestion too.  Put yourself to work in a way that benefits the world around you. Stay busy improving other people's situations.

I've got so many projects I can't imagine ever being bored at home. Of course, some of my projects border on being jobs, but I only do it because I like it. Or at least I tell myself that.

Following up on this, been thinking about it. 

Do you enjoy your work? Really, is it fun? Is it what you do on your days off? 

For me, I've had a couple jobs like that. Nothing that pays a good living, but still jobs. But not my current one. If you're worried about staying busy in retirement, get another job, but one that is actually fun. Work in a hobby shop, or coach a youth team, whatever it is for you that you enjoy and will force you to get out of the house. 

But I just look around the house at all the things I can't get to because I don't have time or am too tired after work, and I never understand this "I'll be bored in retirement" sentiment. Boggles my mind how people wouldn't use their vacation time. Go fishing, go play hockey, go to a concert and sleep in the next day, go for a hike or to Europe or something that you don't have time for now. Learn to play an instrument, the list of things that I want to do but never will have time for is so large that I just don't get how people don't have this problem.

Despite being a regular church-goer I don't have any real excitement for holidays and most of my family is not nearby. As a result I usually have nothing to do on holidays, and most stores are closed as well. I was advised to plan ahead and make the holiday special, in any way. Last Christmas I picked up foam board and spent the holiday scratch building models.

Relaxing doesn't come naturally to some people, I'm still learning how.

After retirement it took me almost two years to NOT wake up at 4:30 am.  I'm over that now.  My eyes see car projects and I've only recently got mature enough to recognize I'm not very good at that stuff.

Kazoospec, find something you enjoy, finger painting, archery, whatever; a day off bonding with like minded people and having a good time is relaxation enough.

Take a breath.....

Become a volunteer in something you like to do or be around. State parks? They LOVE volunteers. Humane society? The same. 

The best part of volunteering is you can't help but make friends. It just happens. And everyone needs friends. It's important to know someone cares about you.

Ninja edit: I used to think when you "volunteered" it was like a scheduled thing. The places I've volunteered at didn't mind if you showed up once a week or stayed all day every day. 

mtn said:

Following up on this, been thinking about it. 

 

Do you enjoy your work? Really, is it fun? Is it what you do on your days off? 

For me, I've had a couple jobs like that. Nothing that pays a good living, but still jobs. But not my current one. If you're worried about staying busy in retirement, get another job, but one that is actually fun. Work in a hobby shop, or coach a youth team, whatever it is for you that you enjoy and will force you to get out of the house. 

But I just look around the house at all the things I can't get to because I don't have time or am too tired after work, and I never understand this "I'll be bored in retirement" sentiment. Boggles my mind how people wouldn't use their vacation time. Go fishing, go play hockey, go to a concert and sleep in the next day, go for a hike or to Europe or something that you don't have time for now. Learn to play an instrument, the list of things that I want to do but never will have time for is so large that I just don't get how people don't have this problem.

So here's the thing with my job.  It's the job I've always wanted.  It's important and even has a "community service" element to it.  (I'm a county prosecutor and do family law work)  The flip side is I've now spent nearly 30 years trying to fix other people's problems.  As important as the work is, it uses you up as a person.  At some point soon, it will be time to call it quits.  Whether "soon" is in a few years when I hit 30 years or a few years after that when I'm actually old enough to retire remains to be seen.  

I have a very hard time just relaxing.  Hard enough that all my jobs rescheduled this week and I'm considering ordering $5000 worth of stuff from menards to start building my new roof on the house because I don't know what to do with myself

914Driver said:

Kazoospec, find something you enjoy, finger painting, archery, whatever; a day off bonding with like minded people and having a good time is relaxation enough.

Take a breath.....

This 100%

Find a "tribe" outside of work. Common interest groups. Some are churchies, some go to concerts, some play D&D, some are wood workers that hang out at woodcrafts classes, some are VFW folks, some are Knights of Columbus.... you get it.

My dad started building sandrails when he retired. Basically his day job plus a fun aspect. He did that until his health got too bad then he worked on atv projects when he could. His health slowing him down enough to sit around and be bored all the time makes him very grouchy 

In reply to kazoospec :

You might like getting your hands dirty. Jimmy Carter felt it very cleansing. Building homes for people.  
You may hate it.  Highly unlikely you'll get satisfaction playing golf or sailing. Gardening, gambling, or sculpture , ( maybe?) 

Whatever  you choose it likely will have to completely engage you without that soul grinding experience of dealing with trouble and  endless issues. 

Find a good book. I'm talking fiction(!!), not a book you read to learn something. Adventure, crime novel, war stories, romantic bla blaa - pick your poison. Ask friends and/or family to help you out. Or perhaps the GRM gang? 

Give it 100 pages before you decide if it is good or not - this is key. Give it a chance - don't give up after 20 pages and go do something else. A book is not like a movie, you often need to make an effort thru the first 50-100 pages.

A really good book is something wonderful. A really good book will pull you in and you will keep turning the pages while the world passes you by as if you were in full zombie mode. A good book is a book you keep reading. You just don't want it to end, but you want to know HOW it ends, so you keep reading. And then you notice that your tee is cold/your beer is warm and you forgot to eat the sweets you brought, because you have been reading.

A good book will, at least for some time, make you forget everything else, which can be very healthy. I strongly recommend it.

hobbies are good. It's why I build, restore, and use boats

Torkel said:

Find a good book. I'm talking fiction(!!), not a book you read to learn something. Adventure, crime novel, war stories, romantic bla blaa - pick your poison. Ask friends and/or family to help you out. Or perhaps the GRM gang?

Ask the GRM gang, you say?