CGLockRacer wrote: One typo can derail a thread completely! http://www.roadraceautox.com/showthread.php?49467-What-would-be-reasonable-to-expect-by-going-from-OEM-to-top-notch-dumpers
my supervisor wanted to know why i haven't done anything for 40 minutes. i told him it was your fault...
lots of LOL in that thread...
-J0N
In reply to stroker:
As a theater major, I would like to claim "Do you want fries with that?" for my people. Often preceded by "I'm an actress."
How come there are so many theatre majors, and so few theatre professionals?
signed,
a theatre major. 
KatieSuddard wrote: In reply to stroker: As a theater major, I would like to claim "Do you want fries with that?" for my people. Often preceded by "I'm an actress."
The New York service industry is interesting to deal with if you try and strike up a conversation with any of the people. At least they were not working the fast food tills. Live the dream! (its funny, but I still admire their courage to do so).
What did Ford say to GM?
I don't recall.
New Element discovered.
The new element is Governmentium (Gv). It has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lefton-like particles called peons.
Since Governmentium has no electrons or protons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction normally taking less than a second to take from four days to four years to complete.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2- 6 years. It does not decay but instead undergoes a reorganisation in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.
In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganisation will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.
This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.
When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons. All of the money is consumed in the exchange, and no other byproducts are produced.
Two nuns from Ireland come to tour New York City. Before they come, they hear that Americans eat dogs, so they both agree to try it when they arrive. As they're walking around New York, they hear, "Hot Dogs! Get your hot dogs!" They rush over to get one! As the first nun opens hers, her face turns white and she gasps, "What part did you get?!"
What was the last thing Lot said to his wife?
Is someone following us?
Guy goes into the doctor's office, says 'I want to be castrated'. The doc is aghast, has the fellow undergo a series of psychological tests that confirm yes that's what he wants.
So he checks into the hospital and the deed is done. Afterwards he's in a recovery room with another guy, asks him 'what are you in for?' He replies 'circumcision'.
First guy snaps his fingers, says 'Damn, THAT was the word.'
Ever wonder what happened to those princesses?
Two potatoes are sitting on a street corner. How do you tell which is the prostitute?
it's the one that has the stamp that says Idaho. 
In reply to SVreX:
Then there's the Robot Chicken version. DEFINITELY NSFW or kids.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ekLcUyDWaU
Shart Week 2014 : Discovery Channel
The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.
The next day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories.
There were all the regular types of stuff: spilled milk and pennies saved. But then the teacher realized, much to her dismay, that only Janie was left.
"Janie, do you have a story to share?"
"Yes ma'am. My daddy told me a story about my Mommy. She was a Marine pilot in Desert Storm, and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory, and all she had was a flask of whiskey, her service .45 cal. automatic pistol, and a survival knife."
"She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break, and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops. She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, 'til the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands."
''Good Heavens," said the horrified teacher. "What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?"
"Don't berkely with Mommy when she's been drinking."
Why does coral get so stressed out?
Current events.
What's it called when two driven wheels don't agree?
A differential of a pinion. 
In reply to Datsun1500:
I believe an edit is required on the next to last line of your joke.
When I see lovers' names carved in a tree, I don't think its cute. I just think it's crazy how many people bring knives on a date.
A traffic cop pulls over an elderly lady, when he gets to the window she of course asks why he stopped her. He says, 'Ma'am, you were doing 22 MPH and obstructing traffic'. She says 'I was obeying the speed limit sign.' He says, 'Ma'am, the speed limit is 50. The sign you saw was the road number, Road 22. I am not going to give you a ticket, but please don't confuse the signs.'
He then notices there are 3 other elderly ladies in the car, all three are mute and their eyes are wide open in terror. He asks, 'Ma'am, are your friends OK?'. The driver replies, 'They'll be okay. We just turned off of Highway 141.'
Anyone can live to be a hundred.
All you have to do is stop doing the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.
Subject: More Gun Control ?
Gun Control: It has already started at Bass Pro Shops Sporting Goods.
When I was ready to pay for my purchases of gun powder and bullets, the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me."
Making a mental note to complain to the NRA about the gun control wackos running amok, I did just as she had instructed. When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided, I found out that she was referring to how I should place my credit card in the card reader.
I have been asked to shop elsewhere in the future.
They need to make their instructions to seniors a little clearer.
I still do not think I looked that bad.
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