My input is (as usual) slightly different but since I am on my second one...
I wouldn't really reccomend a six cylinder model or even the 5.2 for a vehicle this size and weight. Yes, they are super reliable but they are also weak and slow and just not fun to drive. The 5.9 is great, but not very many seem to have been made. The 5.7 does require regular changing of the correct oil, but it is the easiest oil change job ever. Simple to reach everything and no jack required. I like the torque of the 5.7 and have never had an issue that I can remember beyond feeding it ple ty of good gas, but gas is cheap...
The full time 4wd that comes with the bigger v8 is good with a usable low range and the ability to divert almost all torque to a single wheel if need be or quickly split it as needed.
I have probably spent more time off road with them than on and have never failed to get where I am going. Definitely completed over 100 recovery tows on other vehicles (seems like mostly fords and my aunts 5.2 durango) and again, never failed to free them up. Honestly, the thought of failure just doesn't enter my mind.
Towing manners are pretty good. They are rated for something like 7k lbs and that is usually plenty for most jobs. No issues with brake fade or transmission heat, although to be fair both areas did get some preventative upgrades but just bolt on usual stuff. A trans cooler with thermostat and fan, good rotors and pads and all worries disappear.
On road manners are much better than truck based stuff. Unibody isn't a bad word in the 21st century. Decent room for 5 adults plus luggage and higher trims do bring some nice appointments. My 2011 overland drives like a large luxury car with stuff like heated/vented memory seats, push button air suspension, enough 12v and 120v outlets and plenty of cupholders...
Even in "sport" mode my 2011 gets vague at the limit of traction and nervous newr triple digits but that just reminds you that it isn't a sports car. Cruising on the highway at a reasonable speed could make you forget it isn't a luxury sedan.
I've done the little bolt ons like intakes, exhausts and upgraded stereos but that is just car guy stuff. The uncorked hemi provides the kind of smiles on both inhale and exhale that a 6 cylinder can only dream about.
Definitely not a perfect vehicle but I am happy to be driving one again. My current '11 overland was $14k with 110k miles and some serious love from the previous owner. Used prices are crazy now but if you can find a post 2010 it is a better buy. I wouldn't say no to another 2005 like my old one but will admit my ownership experience may have been luckier that others. In short, I didn't and never will shop for an suv without a v8 because I like speed and torque. If you don't require high trim luxury you might find a hemi in your price range and I would reccomend it.