Minor Confession Thread

I HAVE gotten stink-eye from Hybrid owners of all sorts for the MX6.

I like to smile and wave.

I'm not really a stuntcock for adult films.

My confession for today is: I went to move my yard ornament diesel truck and I miss driving it greatly. Anyone want to buy a 95 Dakota?

Confession:

I can't decide. Sometimes I am in the garage and really loving every minute of welding and fixing that silly truck.

Sometimes I just want it to be berkeleying done and gone.

mtn wrote: Confession: Sometimes, I love to stir the pot.

Confession, I ALWAYS love to stir the pot. The softer I perceive the intended target, the harder I hit them

And that right there...

I have professional credentials that require a college education, and the appropriate prerequisites. I have a grade nine education, and lied like a motherberkeleyer to get in.

Last season I misjudged the day's race schedule, and missed my starting line by almost two minutes. I said WTF, and entered the track anyway, just as the group was coming around for the second lap. They scored me third by mistake, and a few months later, I ended up with the championship. I thought about it, but considered it Karma. I've been burned in the past by similar scoring mistakes, and never complained, telling my friends, "I do this for fun, and the minute I start complaining, it's no longer fun". Nobody noticed.

mtn wrote: Confession: Sometimes, I love to stir the pot.

Some days it's the only reason I get out of bed.

We have a local autocrosser who is a big E36 M3 starter and pisses off a lot of folks in our region. Just to get a little pay back I've called in more cones than he actually hit. He might hit 2 cones an entire run, but I called in 5. It really messes with his head the rest of the day.

to mtn and conquest i say, this is not the "question people about their minor confessions" thread.

Giant Purple Snorklewacker wrote: I'm not really a stuntcock for adult films.

yeah, but only because you're the on-screen talent!

edit: the "for adult films" part is reduntant.

mtn wrote:

JohnInKansas wrote: I take pleasure in hauling ass by Priuses (Priuii?) in a truck that gets 9mpg on a good day.

I really don't understand this one. Maybe it just gives you pleasure, but what are you trying to prove? You have a good enough job that you can waste money? You like to make fun of the fact that he is saving a huge amount on gas compared to you? You hate the environment and want climate change to happen faster?

Its childish. I'm confessing.

Mostly its what Conquest said. I work on the impression that Prius owners are holier-than-thou environmentalist dicks who (if they could write enough letters to their congressmen to get it pushed through to the legal system) would like to see my truck filled full of liquid glass. Berkeley that. I do it just to piss in their cereal bowl.

I understand that the vast majority of Prius owners are nothing like what I described, but that's what I think when I see one. As an aside, I don't drive that truck much anymore, because its so thirsty.

AngryCorvair wrote: edit: the "for adult films" part is reduntant.

Right. Because if they were children's films that would be categorized as a "major" confession and likely involve a plea agreement.

Giant Purple Snorklewacker wrote:

poopshovel wrote: If I could get away with it, I would berkeleying murder people who chew with their mouths open.

Possible fodder for a later confession? I must confess to finding some reason not to sit anywhere near my father-in-law at holiday dinners because not only does he chew like a berkeleying cow - he talks with food hanging out of his big fat maw while pointing and shaking his fork to make points along the way. I want to take one of those things you pack meat into a grinder with and stuff it down his throat.

Let me guess, he's got berkeleying TMJ too? Maybe one day he'll choke, and you can tell everyone "STEP BACK, I'VE GOT THIS!" and pretend to give him the heimlich maneuver.

I have horrible nicknames for all my coworkers.

I will drive only in the left lane if possible.

When I was a kid I got caught shoplifting but the store owner didn't call the cops. That night I pretended I was sick to get out of shoveling snow, and the store owner called while my dad was out there. I pretended I was my dad and promised to punish myself. In other words, I got off scott-free!

I will drive only in the left lane if possible.

I secretly wish someone would take slowride out on the way home. Joking. No seriously.

If it makes a difference, I do go 80-85 when the speed limit is 55. And I do move when someone faster gets behind me. I don't like it much, but I do it.

During roadtrips I intentionally block a-holes who are hogging the left lane. I'll pass them on the right-- get in front of them, and slow down-- forcing them out of the left lane. I then continue on my merry way happy that I've made the world a better place.

I also make it a game to keep aggressive drivers behind me. It's usually very easy as they only look 5-10 ft. in front of their cars. It really pisses them off that I stay ahead while keeping a steady pace--- meanwhile they change lanes 10 times, tailgate and shoot gaps trying to "get ahead" Usually they just drift farther and farther back. Most folks don't look ahead---- makes it a lot harder to judge traffic patterns when your eyes are stuck on the bumper of the car in front of you.

I also can't stand Star Wars----I even thought it was overrated when I saw it in the theater------- when I was 7!

Joe Gearin wrote: During roadtrips I intentionally block a-holes who are hogging the left lane. I'll pass them on the right-- get in front of them, and slow down-- forcing them out of the left lane. I then continue on my merry way happy that I've made the world a better place.

I do this, except I don't hit the brake (so they don't see the brake lights), I just let of the gas or gear down, then all the sudden they slam the brakes before rear ending me with this "wtf just happened look"....i love it.

During roadtrips I intentionally block a-holes who are hogging the left lane. I'll pass them on the right-- get in front of them, and slow down-- forcing them out of the left lane. I then continue on my merry way happy that I've made the world a better place. I also make it a game to keep aggressive drivers behind me. It's usually very easy as they only look 5-10 ft. in front of their cars. It really pisses them off that I stay ahead while keeping a steady pace--- meanwhile they change lanes 10 times, tailgate and shoot gaps trying to "get ahead" Usually they just drift farther and farther back. Most folks don't look ahead---- makes it a lot harder to judge traffic patterns when your eyes are stuck on the bumper of the car in front of you.

Separated at birth, I tell ya. The best is getting the shiny happy person (whether he's the one who can't figure out what berkeleying speed he wants to go, or the one who was jamming up the hammer-lane 10 seconds ago) - anyway - the best is moving him into the right lane, pacing him up to some Handicapped Prius driver doing 10 under in the right lane, but making sure you're jamming up traffic behind you, so he'll have a line of 20 mouthbreathers to wait on before he can get back in the passing lane...then do 20 over for at least a couple miles to ensure you'll never see his ass again evar.

It's things like these that keep me from losing my berkeleying mind on an 80 mile commute.

If you flash your brights at me when I am passing (and likely already speeding by a minimum 10 MPH) I will slow down to just fast enough to pass the truck. I see you back there. I'll probably speed up to get out of your way even. But as soon as you are a dick, I'll be an shiny happy person.

I talk to myself, sing to myself, make funny voices, and car noises (especially turbo sounds) in my car when driving alone. I sometimes think, what if there was a camera in here, people would think I'm insane...

There is a small "ramp" in the parking lot of the shopping center near my house, and I've accidentally caught air on it a few dozen times.

Wally wrote: I was in Home Depot wearing an old Tony Stewart T-shirt without realizing it. After the third time explaining I didn't work there I just started sending everyone to aisle 24.

I was wearing a blue dress shirt with a pair of Khakis and stopped in at Sears to buy some work boots - 2 customers came up to me and asked me to check in back for another size.

I turned and left and felt that my life was worthless since it was apparent that I had the "Sears shoe department salesman" look.

Hey, my apologies to all the Sears Shoe Department Salespeople.......

The stupider the joke, the more I like it.

I totally abuse every rental car I ever rent (which is monthly).

This week I had a Dodge Journey that had some sweet digital temperature gauges - then I felt challenged to see how high I could get the transmission temperature (208dgF).

Conquest351 wrote: I also walk when I'm talking on my phone. I can not sit still. I pace around the house or outside or wherever, but I have to be moving. Drives my wife nuts.

Yep same here.