Not trying to be creepy yet creepy

scardeal wrote: This thread makes me feel like a normal person. Stop!

this ….

bluej wrote:

curtis73 wrote: On an observation duty with my friend (a policeman). We stopped and got some Popeye's chicken. As we sat there in his cruiser eating chicken, a black man came out of Popeye's with a bag. In an attempt to make idle conversation I said, "whatcha got in the bag, fried chicken?" He said, "no, its diapers." I had no idea that I committed a massive racial slur without intending it until later when the police department got a phone call about a racist cop in unit #155.

I was in the passenger seat of my gf's car on the way home from work and eating a banana. I finish up and roll the window down to toss the peel. Well, we're driving slowly in traffic and I spot a garbage can up ahead. I got this! I don't got this. About half an inch high and it sails right over... and into the feet of the black woman standing at the bus stop on the other side. I was beyond mortified.

at least it wasn't a KFC box

I once met a friend's wife and said 'the pleasure is all yours'. Oops. Boy did I ever screw THAT up.

I want to go through a grocery store checkout with a cart filled with nothing but a box of condoms, a giant tub of butter flavored Crisco, a dog collar and leash, a roll of duct tape, and a plunger. Would that be creepy?

Curmudgeon wrote: I once met a friend's wife and said 'the pleasure is all yours'. Oops. Boy did I ever screw THAT up.

Next time just mutter under your breath "...it rubs the lotion on it's skin or it gets the hose again...".

I took a picture of a woman's foot (with permission) to show SWMBO a pair of shoes. This was an acquaintance, but it was still kind of creepy, so we laughed about it. Cool shoes though.

In reply to KatieSuddard:

I drive an undercover(metallic brown) Pedovan......do I really need to share anymore.

Oh, and would you like some candy? Theres some candy in the pedovan.....

In reply to yamaha: All candy can be mailed to the Grassroots HQ where it will be put under consideration for consumption. (Probably by JG)

mapper wrote: I want to go through a grocery store checkout with a cart filled with nothing but a box of condoms, a giant tub of butter flavored Crisco, a dog collar and leash, a roll of duct tape, and a plunger. Would that be creepy?

I was buying some random crap at the convenience store: needed a jug of tea for me, a tub of Vaseline for the engine I was building, and some other stuff. The cashier commented that it was a weird assortment of stuff.

So, instead of going all awkward, I turned the tables. I said "Oh yeah, this isn't awkward enough, hold on" and bought some condoms and shampoo. Girl laughed and turned beet red

KatieSuddard wrote: In reply to yamaha: All candy can be mailed to the Grassroots HQ where it will be put under consideration for consumption. (Probably by JG)

You've partially passed the test by refusing the van......but candy from a stranger?!?

yamaha wrote:

KatieSuddard wrote: In reply to yamaha: All candy can be mailed to the Grassroots HQ where it will be put under consideration for consumption. (Probably by JG)

You've partially passed the test by refusing the van......but candy from a stranger?!?

I agree. Someone needs to work on their Stranger Danger skills.

Went on a condom run to the local pharmacy. As they also sold medical supplies, I had the bright idea to see if they might have 100ml graduated cylinders. Pre-internet days so no simple ordering from Amazon, either hit some stores, ask or call around. The middle-aged ladies looks went from listening to glazed over as I hand gestured a glass cylinder about 1" dia. by about 10" long w/ a flat base. What's it for?, they asked. The look went from glazed to ewwww as I tried to describe this:

They didn't get hydrometer so words like bulb, shaft, something, something and it fits inside a 1" diameter. Obviously, I wasn't the best descriptor.

Dead creepy silence and scorched looks that only church ladies can give. Took the condoms and left.

btw, it was for a distilling project. I later sourced that 100ml cylinder and it worked great w/ the P&T hydrometer.

Knurled wrote:

mapper wrote: I want to go through a grocery store checkout with a cart filled with nothing but a box of condoms, a giant tub of butter flavored Crisco, a dog collar and leash, a roll of duct tape, and a plunger. Would that be creepy?

I was buying some random crap at the convenience store: needed a jug of tea for me, a tub of Vaseline for the engine I was building, and some other stuff. The cashier commented that it was a weird assortment of stuff. So, instead of going all awkward, I turned the tables. I said "Oh yeah, this isn't awkward enough, hold on" and bought some condoms and shampoo. Girl laughed and turned beet red

I'm betting these things would not even rate a second look at a Walmart register.

I was at Wally World and some 10 year old girl was with her dad and she was sliding a large lipstick shaped candy in and out of her mouth many times. I was going to make a joke to the dad and instantly I realized how creepy that was and I looked down and left quickly. That guy would've punched me.

I've always wanted to go to the 24hr home depot around 3:00am and buy a hacksaw, bleach, garbage bags, a shovel and some gloves.

Asking the cashier to move quickly because I'm in a hurry would be the icing on the cake.

Shawn

Most recently I was at a Mexican restaurant I was joking with my friends calling items mojitos & fajitas but pronouncing like a gringo with pronouncing them with the "j". When it came time to order I mistakenly ordered it like a gringo. The waitresses was not impressed but my friends found it funny and I felt like a idiot.

N Sperlo wrote:

yamaha wrote:

KatieSuddard wrote: In reply to yamaha: All candy can be mailed to the Grassroots HQ where it will be put under consideration for consumption. (Probably by JG)

You've partially passed the test by refusing the van......but candy from a stranger?!?

I agree. Someone needs to work on their Stranger Danger skills.

When my baby brother was about 4 my dad told him ti yell stranger danger when around me because not many were stranger than I

In reply to Trans_Maro:

Don't forget a couple bags of lime.

One of my daughters friends was driving and I was in the passenger seat. We passed a speed trap and I told her to flash her high beams at the oncoming drivers to warn them. She was about 17 at the time. I didn't actually hear what I had said until about three hours later. It just suddenly dawned on me while I was watching TV. It certainly explained the silent treatment on the rest of the drive.

"I'll have a Chinchilla!"

trigun7469 wrote: Most recently I was at a Mexican restaurant I was joking with my friends calling items mojitos & fajitas but pronouncing like a gringo with pronouncing them with the "j". When it came time to order I mistakenly ordered it like a gringo. The waitresses was not impressed but my friends found it funny and I felt like a idiot.

Not creepy but funny: a few years ago a buddy and I were putting a windshield back in his Spitfire. You don't want to use petroleum based lubricants on rubber seals and cooking oil etc can be very hard to get off of fresh paint so the best choice is KY or similar. So we made a supply run and stopped by a CVS pharmacy, when he shut the van off he says 'I think I better go in by myself'.

In reply to Curmudgeon:

Windex... We use windex to install glass.

But hey, if KY is the first thing you think of when you and your buddy are grunting and pushing, I'm not here to judge.

In reply to Curmudgeon:

You should have gone. When you get to the register keep complaining that he wasn't buying enough.

SnowMongoose wrote: Wait, if I had stopped by GRMHQ when I was in Florida last month, I could have scored some candy? E36 M3!

Apparently, you could have taken some from Katie, then wandered into JG's office and asked, "Do you want some candy?", without being rebuffed.

Creepy. Very creepy.