Are you ok or not okay with your significant other taking cash out on the same receipt at the store? I don’t do it but apparently my SO does it quite often. It was a bad discovery on it when I found the receipts in the trash can for 3 different stores on the same day for $40 cash back each. This kind of thing considered Normal? Not normal? Something is up?
If you’re asking about paying with a debit card and getting cash I do it all the time. My credit union doesn’t have convenient atm locations so I get cash when I shop. In a pinch I’ve bought a Hot Wheels car because it’s cheaper than atm fees.
Have you asked her about it?
We have separate personal accounts outside of the household account. If either of us dip into the house account it means we end up being short on our joint expenses.
EastCoastMojo said:Have you asked her about it?
We have separate personal accounts outside of the household account. If either of us dip into the house account it means we're short on our joint expenses.
Yeah, apparently I am being an shiny happy person for finding out about it
The why is all that matters. If it's being done like that to hide something then it's a problem.
Houston, we have a problem...
If this makes you an shiny happy person, then there's a problem.
My wife won't even buy herself lunch without telling me she did it and she balances the checkbook. I think you might have a problem.
Problem.
$120 cash back in one day with no explanation ?
I'd be looking for some answers. History or recent signs of substance abuse ?
I’ll run to Wally World and will spend $15 and go to the bank and withdraw $40.
So it’s easier to get it all at one stop but then when I write it in my checkbook it feels like I spent $55 at WW for nothing.
Given her defensive reaction something is up.
It's the pattern that concerns me. My brother is an alcoholic and drug user that hasn't held a job for decades. He wiped out my dad's assets. The repeated small purchases with cash back was his MO.
I’ve always favored one bank account for a married couple. The Dave Ramsey school of thought basically.
My recent post about my wife’s co worker having his life savings withdrawn by his wife of 28 years has been an eye opener. For me, I won’t be changing anything - we make money decisions together and get text notifications for every single one.
But the OPs scenario would definitely raise a red flag.
Edit: it also depends on the family budget. If $120 withdrawn is anticipated and doing no harm - then get crazy. Otherwise, a concern.
//Delete sexist sour grapes response from a guy paying alimony//
I would be concerned. I am always concerned about money that isn't openly discussed, however. My ex wife cleaned me out, I'm paying child support AND I bought all his winter gear, again- on top of his shoes and whatever else, and mommy showed up with a purse worth more than my car (ok, it's a 400$ corolla) and some sweet running shoes. I despise clandestine money management.
I don't mind getting cash back, but getting cash back from 3 different stores in the same day constitutes a bigger issue and makes me think there is something to hide. Even if my wife has something to hide, she is going to tell me she is hiding something from me.
Now drag her ass to a session of marriage counseling, you shiny happy person. I'm being a smartass, but I'm not blowing the issue out of proportion. Somethings wrong.
Or do like my neighbor advises, and "Assume Goodwill". Do you have a birthday coming up and maybe she's stacking a little cash to buy you a surprise gift? Etc etc. my neighbor always assumes goodwill, and he's a much happier person than I am.
In reply to AngryCorvair :
That’s my natural reaction to situations too, and sadly life has proven I was wrong damn near every time.
Something fishy is going on here.
I don't care about the getting cash back at the store.
It would concern me about this happening in a volume that would constitute a large amount of money with no explanation.
That being said, there are plenty of ligitamate reasons to need to get out 100$ or so cash.
Did you ask about it? What was the response? Is money a source of arguments? Do you have a budget together?
Does she have a racecar?
wvumtnbkr said:Does she have a racecar?
If this were the case they wouldn't have $120 in the bank in the first place, would they?
I don't disagree with most of the responses but I wouldn't have said anything. I would watch for further malfeasance, then when I knew what was really going on and had a plan I would ask.
In a situation like that I rarely ask a question unless I already know the answer.
Good luck and I hope you don't need it.
Whether the money is for legit reasons or not, if you and the SO cant have a reasonable, open conversation when talking about money things are not going to go well for you.
As far as your original question, i consider getting cash back at the store normal. Getting it three times in one day not normal.
Getting it three times in one day is trying to secretly get money without you knowing.
Best case scenario, she wants to suprise you with some gift or trip and didnt want you to see a charge on the statement to ruin the suprise.
Mediocrest scenario, good inentions, maybe a relative or something needed money help, she thought it needed done but didnt think you would be on board. Maybe she wanted buy herself she didnt think you would agree with, like an expensive purse.
Worst case, drugs, stashing money before she runs off, or skimpy underbritches for some other dude.
Wally said:I’ve bought a Hot Wheels car because it’s cheaper than atm fees.
Me too!
You'll need to log in to post.
