Unofficial 2012 NFL smack thread.

It is finally upon us. Let's try to keep the insults to a maximum and all below the belt. Steelers play the Dolts tonight. I swear there are teams in the pre season who will put a rookie in to take out a big money player. Our OL still sucks (shocking.) Plays that take longer than 3 seconds to develop leave the QB running for his life. We do (halle berkeleying lujah) have a new offensive coordinator, and I'm confident our defense will make Bruce Arians look like the bitch he is tonight.

Eyewitness accounts from friends in Pittsburgh confirm that Ben is no longer looking like a bloated wad of cookie dough and looks more like a berkeleying tank. Hopefully the "Throwin picks, assaultin' chicks" days are behind him. If not, I'll GLADLY pull for Charlie Batch.

GO STEELERS!!!

Still a Lions fan even after the Monty Clark-era..... If they stay healthy, return to the playoffs!!! Even with a mediocre defense.

Life-long Browns fan here, expecting more of the same this season.

Aside from the usual injuries and suspensions, I fully expect our rookie QB to file his retirement papers with the NFL sometime around the bye-week.

Looking at the schedule, I see 4 wins... Five, if they get on a roll.

9ers are gonna whoop all y'all again!

Thats the game with the poorly designed ball, right?

Chargers fan. Slow start, strong mid-season and get beat in the first play-off game. (If we make it...)

I expect a "normal" season.

Aw crap! I was about to whip out a nice Salsa recipe. I read this as an NFL sNack thread......

Carry on.

Manic Depressive NY Jets fan here (the team not me!). Best case 6-10. Is self smack down allowed in this thread?

I may be looking to the NHL season a little earlier this year (if they have one).

Red rocket + green machine = redemption. Who BERKIN Dey!

Streetwiseguy wrote: Thats the game with the poorly designed ball, right?

No no no, you're thinking of the Pansy game with the black and white ball where the sissies poke each other in the pooper with their fingers. NFL is the badass sport for men. Glad I could clear that up for you.

grafmiata wrote: Life-long Browns fan here, expecting more of the same this season. Aside from the usual injuries and suspensions, I fully expect our rookie QB to file his retirement papers with the NFL sometime around the bye-week. Looking at the schedule, I see 4 wins... Five, if they get on a roll.

Also a lifer Browns fan. Just repeat after me "there is always next year".

I keep saying the same thing about my Bears! There is always hope and next year.

logdog wrote:

grafmiata wrote: Life-long Browns fan here, expecting more of the same this season. Aside from the usual injuries and suspensions, I fully expect our rookie QB to file his retirement papers with the NFL sometime around the bye-week. Looking at the schedule, I see 4 wins... Five, if they get on a roll.

Also a lifer Browns fan. Just repeat after me "there is always next year".

Kinda like saying "Well, tomorrow is another day...". Yeah, it is. But technically, so was yesterday, and where did that get me???

Really have no clue about what's happening with my Bengals. All I can hope for is for them to put the smackdown on the stupid steelers and crappy browns. When, not if, that happens, I will be happy.

Poor old bungholes. You guys could have a team with a new head coach and some scouting. How did your big money reality TV star WR's work out for ya? Whatever happened to that second coming of Palmer you guys couldn't shut up about? For the love of christ, one of you guys need to nut up and whack Marvin Lewis, cuz it looks like he'll never get fired.

I have the utmost respect for Brownies fans. At least week can all agree to hate Stabbin Ray & Co, right???

4cylndrfury wrote:

Streetwiseguy wrote: Thats the game with the poorly designed ball, right?

No no no, you're thinking of the Pansy game with the black and white ball where the sissies poke each other in the pooper with their fingers. NFL is the badass sport for men. Glad I could clear that up for you.

Communist kickball? The sport where guys run around for 90 minutes and never score a point?

Oh, and lets not talk about the acting...

In reply to poopshovel: He he he...you always know how to make me smile poopie. I love it when you recycle the same ol contrived cliches. Last year was just warm up son. This season, pack a lunch and strap on your boots...we are going to work

poopshovel wrote: I have the utmost respect for Brownies fans. At least week can all agree to hate Stabbin Ray & Co, right???

Yep. I can agree with that. In fact I will root for any team that plays the Ravens, even the Steelers or one coached by Belicheck. We Cleveland fans are awesome at holding grudges.

Poop, you must be really proud that big Ben was able to make it through an entire offseason without commiting a sex crime.

I keep wondering if the League has finished kicking the Saints in the balls.

Sonic wrote: Poop, you must be really proud that big Ben was able to make it through an entire offseason without commiting a sex crime.

Far as you know. Hell I have a hard time going a day without commiting a hate crime. I mean sex crime.

Cole_Trickle wrote: Chargers fan. Slow start, strong mid-season and get beat in the first play-off game. (If we make it...) I expect a "normal" season.

I'm a current Chargers fan...in that I'm a fan of the current Charger personnel, who can choke away a game like no one else. Phillip Rivers' inability to win despite having the tools and the talent is the closest thing to proof that karma exists and the universe hates him for being a douche.

Mr. Shovel...enjoy Todd Haley. He'll fit right in with Rapey McGee. I never thought there was someone who was not classy enough for KC fans. I was wrong. Pittsburgh's gonna love him.

I'll just settle for watching the Chiefs' neverending parade of destroyed ligaments and quarterback bingo. Year 9 of the rebuilding phase...

psteav wrote: Phillip Rivers' inability to win despite having the tools and the talent is the closest thing to proof that karma exists and the universe hates him for being a douche.

Man I hate Rivers.

psteav wrote:

Cole_Trickle wrote: Chargers fan. Slow start, strong mid-season and get beat in the first play-off game. (If we make it...) I expect a "normal" season.

I'm a current Chargers fan...in that I'm a fan of the current Charger personnel, who can choke away a game like no one else. Phillip Rivers' inability to win despite having the tools and the talent is the closest thing to proof that karma exists and the universe hates him for being a douche. Mr. Shovel...enjoy Todd Haley. He'll fit right in with Rapey McGee. I never thought there was someone who was not classy enough for KC fans. I was wrong. Pittsburgh's gonna love him. I'll just settle for watching the Chiefs' neverending parade of destroyed ligaments and quarterback bingo. Year 9 of the rebuilding phase...

Beats the hell out of Bruce Arians. Great play calling tonight. Sorry about your Queefs. Have fun with your fair weather fandom.

poopshovel wrote:

psteav wrote:

Cole_Trickle wrote: Chargers fan. Slow start, strong mid-season and get beat in the first play-off game. (If we make it...) I expect a "normal" season.

I'm a current Chargers fan...in that I'm a fan of the current Charger personnel, who can choke away a game like no one else. Phillip Rivers' inability to win despite having the tools and the talent is the closest thing to proof that karma exists and the universe hates him for being a douche. Mr. Shovel...enjoy Todd Haley. He'll fit right in with Rapey McGee. I never thought there was someone who was not classy enough for KC fans. I was wrong. Pittsburgh's gonna love him. I'll just settle for watching the Chiefs' neverending parade of destroyed ligaments and quarterback bingo. Year 9 of the rebuilding phase...

Beats the hell out of Bruce Arians. Great play calling tonight. Sorry about your Queefs. Have fun with your fair weather fandom.

Sheeeeeiittt. Fair weather? I've been having my hopes built up and destroyed since I started watching football twenty years ago. We've won two playoff games in that time, and that was in 1993. Your team has won two Super Bowls in the last five years (although damn, they're old now). And you're throwing around "fair weather"?

And for what it's worth, I actually kinda like Haley, even if he is a ginormous shiny happy person.