Music. For the first time since severing my right wrist in 2000 - I'm left-handed, so that's my fret hand - I've finally got my strength and technique to a point that surpasses where I was even at my peak ~20 years ago. I also have my gear together, and am fortunate enough to have found a couple groups of non-flakes/addicts/sociopaths to write some pretty awesome music with. I've been playing 2-4 hours every day for months, and haven't had the least bit of burnout from it. I've fortunately been able to keep finding new things to explore.
"What are you excited about?"
Nothing, really nothing for the last year and a half. I am so just worn down and out, at 33 this is not supposed to happen.
I am actually thinking about going back on my anti-depressants. I have actually pulled the bottle out a few times and just stared at it to see if it would give me an idea what I should do. I just remember how bad the side effects were and cannot get over the hump.
Works fine if crazy busy, and full of crazy people. Home is fine but my house is becoming a just pit of time wasting fiddling trying to keep it from falling down and I am just not having any fun even though by all outward appearances I should be. Its work, sleep, work, sleep, work on house, sleep.
Weirdest this is money way better then ever, like the best year I have ever had. I have had some big years in the past. Actually healthy for the first time in years no fibro pain, all my bones are healed, or at least fused, and even my fingers and toes are not as stiff as they used to be before I broke them.
I think its that for the last 19 years since I was 14 I have been working every single day without end. Two jobs while in school, working on outside projects while working full time. I just want off the ride for 3 maybe 4 months so I can travel and go to the gym for two hours a day and just have a external life.
mndsm
MegaDork
4/20/14 11:45 p.m.
wearymicrobe wrote:
"What are you excited about?"
Nothing, really nothing for the last year and a half. I am so just worn down and out, at 33 this is not supposed to happen.
I am actually thinking about going back on my anti-depressants. I have actually pulled the bottle out a few times and just stared at it to see if it would give me an idea what I should do. I just remember how bad the side effects were and cannot get over the hump.
Works fine if crazy busy, and full of crazy people. Home is fine but my house is becoming a just pit of time wasting fiddling trying to keep it from falling down and I am just not having any fun even though by all outward appearances I should be. Its work, sleep, work, sleep, work on house, sleep.
Weirdest this is money way better then ever, like the best year I have ever had. I have had some big years in the past. Actually healthy for the first time in years no fibro pain, all my bones are healed, or at least fused, and even my fingers and toes are not as stiff as they used to be before I broke them.
I think its that for the last 19 years since I was 14 I have been working every single day without end. Two jobs while in school, working on outside projects while working full time. I just want off the ride for 3 maybe 4 months so I can travel and go to the gym for two hours a day and just have a external life.
Brother, if you're thinking about it, do it. I can tell you, i've been on and off of them multiple times. I've learned, I will probably be on them a good portion of my life. Not for depression issues, but mood control. I'm just too intense for my own good and get twisted and wildly out of control. I can't afford to do that with a 2 year old that depends on me. I look at your life and go "man I wish I was loaded" you're a year younger than me. BUT- I've learned something. I've been broke as berkeley for the last year and a half. Burned all of my savings. But, I haven't had to get up and go to a job I hate. Everyone's read my sob story. I can tell you- you've got a lot to be happy about.
As far as the time off, why not take a sabbatical? Sounds like you've got the loot to do it.... I would while you're young. I've not worked in a year and a half.....
As for what am I excited about? I get up in the morning and I don't automatically hate life. I get to have fun with my kid all day every day. The weather is warming up, I might get to summer tires soon. I've finally talked myself into getting a job I like instead of just one for money- so I'm sort of interested in going back to work, eventually. It's storm season! I berkeleyin love storms. I'm that crazy SOB standing outside when it's hailing and wrecking my car. So really- there's a lot to be happy about.
nothing and that's the problem
I'm excited to wake up in the mornings.
I'm excited to watch my kids turn into adults. Most of the shaping that I can do is done with the older ones. There's still lots to teach them, but more and more of their growth as a person is up to them and the choices they make. This is probably only exciting because it's going well, otherwise it would be terrifying.
Toyman01 wrote:
I'm excited to wake up in the mornings.
Yep. Any day I open my eyes and I am not looking at daisies from the root side is a good day. Everything else can be dealt with/fixed.
Matt B
SuperDork
4/21/14 7:57 a.m.
My job. I'm genuinely excited to work in the environment I'm in and in the responsibility I've been given. A few months ago I went from being a contractor working on a power utility's intranet, to a full time employee designing their custom software. I'm used to being on a creative team, but now I've been thrust out of my comfort zone into an IT culture filled with big brains that constantly challenge me. It's awesome.
That said, I can certainly relate to those who have mentioned they have trouble getting excited about anything anymore. I lived that for a few years, along with the associated symptoms of depression. I honestly never thought it would ever be any different and that my lack of enthusiasm was just part of growing up and accepting the real world. I was wrong. It took me deciding that something had to change whether it did any good or not. I fumbled along the way and there weren't any convenient epiphanies, but things got quite a bit better once that was my focus.
Ian F
UltimaDork
4/21/14 7:58 a.m.
Hmm... I hoping to order a new bike frame today. Intense Tracer T275c Carbon. Unfortunately, I have no idea when the fork I need for it will be released by Manitou, but at least I'll be able to start buying and hanging parts off something.
I'm jsut hoping that wrecking 1/4 mile into my first ride of the season isn't an omen...
PHeller
PowerDork
4/21/14 8:50 a.m.
Ian F wrote:
Hmm... I hoping to order a new bike frame today. Intense Tracer T275c Carbon. Unfortunately, I have no idea when the fork I need for it will be released by Manitou, but at least I'll be able to start buying and hanging parts off something.
I'm jsut hoping that wrecking 1/4 mile into my first ride of the season isn't an omen...
I've got a Switchback Unveil7 prototype coming. Pike 160, Debonair, 1x10 clutch-n/w. Looks a lot like a Cove Hustler 650BJ with different tubes. Made by the same factory.
Hoping that the bike will last for a few years and allow me to ride just about everything both in Pennsylvania and the next residence.
Speaking of moving, I'm excited to get married this summer, pay off student loan debt, and next year we'll start looking for jobs in Florida, Colorado, Arizona and California. Not in any rush, but we'll see what happens. I'm ready for something outside of Pennsylvania.
T.J.
PowerDork
4/21/14 9:42 a.m.
I am excited by my new job and house (new as of last fall). (Some days my excitement for the job wanes, such as when I have to travel). I am excited by my kayak build that I am undertaking in the garage and really looking forward to finishing it and getting out on the water. It is strange, though, in that I am also enjoying the actual work of building it and am taking my time during the build instead of rushing to try to get it done so I can put in the water.
gamby
UltimaDork
4/21/14 9:49 a.m.
I'm excited that my racquet stringing business is finally making some strides. I LOVE the influx of new customers. Still very small, but it's been heading in the right direction for the past few months.
Related to that, my friend Mike filmed a promo video for my biz, which he'll be editing in the very near future. I'll be posting that here when he finishes it just to show it off.
It's MS150 season again, so I'm excited about training/fundraising/riding it.
With the weather finally breaking I'm looking forward to garage projects and getting the boat in the water. My 'excitment' level has gone up and down over the years and I'm currently enjoying an upward swing.
I'm excited about vacation (and VERY thankful that I get as much as I get). 5 trips for the rest of 2014.
I'm excited about growing food. More than working on cars, that's for sure.
I should get excited about blowing glass.
pres589
UltraDork
4/21/14 3:24 p.m.
I'm excited because I have a garage that I can really work in, or can get into a state where I can really work, and that my cost of living is pretty controlled so as to help me afford to work on what I want to. I've decided that, hell or high water (or just too much rust...) I'm going to try and resto-mod my Capri. Sell my Mustang. Maybe buy a pickup just because I want an 8 foot bed to throw junk in and have something that can tow a car.
I'm excited about the vacation I'm planning for the end of May through part of June; buzzwords like "motorcycle" and "camping" and "Canada" surround the trip. I'm excited about learning some new skills and maybe considering a career change, but lately I'm doing okay where I'm currently at, because it feels like changes are possible here.
I'm interested in generating my own excitement instead of hoping it would somehow find me. It's something I forget to do now and then and I'm working to shake that off.
I'm excited about spring and dry weather. Time to bust out the mountain bike and see if the tedious road miles have payed.
that i've fought off the infection and have have kept my right arm. Atrophy of having it stationary for the past 7 months has taken it's toll, occupational therapy is helping a bit already, PT will get there. I'm looking forward to hopefully being able to swing a tennis racket or golf club by fall and i'm really looking forward to making something, whether it be finishing the mazda, starting the volvo or renovating the basement or pit fire and porch area in the back of the house. For months i've been longing to create while battling dark thoughts from not being able to phyiscally capable to do what i enjoy.
I have managed to get Saturday off from work and for the first time in months we have nothing that needs to be done. I am sleeping late and having a threesome with Mrs Butterworth and Aunt Jamima.